Why can some people be monogamous others can't, can you?

I have always been a serial monogamist.

I am definitely monogamous!

So far I’ve been a serial monogamist, but I don’t think that long-term monogamy, like a marriage, will work for me. I want to transition into a poly lifestyle or an open relationship someday, but I’m not sure how. I would probably hardly ever act on it, but it would be a big relief to know that the possibility was open. I think that the way traditional marriage and nuclear families are set up, it is destined not to work for many people. Ideally, husbands and wives are friendly and passionate toward each other for the rest of their lives and are responsible enough to raise children together and share finances. I just don’t think one person can fill all those roles, all the time. The nuclear family is a pretty new construction; in many older societies, the extended family chipped in to raise the children and grown children supported their parents.

I’d like to have close ties with my extended family, be on my own financially, have a life partner who I’m emotionally close to, and be in an open relationship sexually. It seems like most people are monogamous and want a regular nuclear family, so I have no idea where I’ll meet a partner who wants all the same things I do.

A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of.

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down

The world is so much more uncomplicated for me if I am just sleeping with one person!

I think anyone can be monogamous. It’s a choice. The idea that some people can’t help it strikes me oddly. When in an established relationship, monogamy seems like the only way to go. And I think especially, as soon as offspring are involved pair bonding for life (or at least until after their adolescence) is necessary and sapient.

When I am in a relationship, I am monogamous.
When I am not, well… not so much.

@Michael_Huntington Jesus that’s the second time today that you mentioned Rick Astley, which makes me wanna trust you. This don’t come easy since they make fun of Rick Astley fans but I Am One of them! Hold me in your arms…!

I guess I’m monogamous, although I’d like to try new things. I’ve had sexual encounters with multiple people simultaneously and I’ve had fuck buddies, but it has never been a stable thing, more like an opportunistic occurrence.

@Blackberry Hate to break it to you buddy but you are not monogamous. :-)

I guess I could be monogamous, but I have no interest in it.

Aside for the one time I experienced a threesome with two men, I’ve always been monogamous.

@mazingerz88 I can dream lol.

@WillWorkForChocolate, for real? :0

I have been and plan to continue.

I’m most definitely monogamous. Minimal drama for me.

@Season_of_Fall Yes, for real. I was 18 and it felt a little awkward, to be honest.

Ive been monogamous for going on twenty-two years. I frankly can’t imagine being single and “playing the field” or “hooking up” or having “friends with benefits”.

Too much drama. Too much effort quite frankly.

I have always been monogamous. What’s the big deal about?
Some can, some can’t.

I have been happily monogamous for the past 20+ years (and believe me, I’m as surprised as anyone!). The reality is that a healthy long term partnership is far more gratifying than any temporary roll in the hay I could have had along the way.

We don’t seem suited to monogamy, culturally or biologically, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work for some people, it just takes work. More work than it’s worth, in my opinion. Been there, done that. I prefer the kind of relationship where people talk openly about sex and fantasies and desires, orientations and everything else. As such, it seems to me that when I find someone who enjoys exploring these topics as much as I do, it becomes apparent that though we could start dating, and even get married someday, a lifetime of monogamy is too much to ask.