If you were my TA in this situation, how would you view me?

1) You didn’t have to sit in that seat.
2) You didn’t have to let your “friend” cheat off you.
3) You should have told your “friend” that the behavior was unacceptable and that they should do their own work and get their own answers.
4) If the person cheated off of you, you should have let the TA know immediately after the test. If they took your paper, you should have taken it back immediately. There is no reason for someone to be taking you paper. The distracted/scared/unable to complete the work is nothing to the fact that this person is cheating.

You are at fault here for cheating. This is inexcusable. What the TA does about it is up to them. Telling them that they’re not doing their job of preventing cheating and that they need to do a better job at their job isn’t really going to help anything. You need to report the cheating as it happened and tell them that you didn’t know how to handle it at the time but decided the best thing to do is to report the cheating, despite the effect it might have on you. Request that the TA review the test papers and look for the similarities that you know are there. Do not tell the TA what to do. That is not your job.

Your “friend” needs to be in trouble. Tell the TA that your paper was taken from you and that you are notifying them of cheating. This person is going to be in trouble, best case scenario is that you manage to get out of it without being in trouble for allowing it to happen. You’ve been participating in the cheating, allowing it to happen. You did not object to your paper being taken, you did not report it sooner. There is no reason why anyone should “not want to get anyone in trouble,” trouble had been earned.

This person is no friend of yours if they’re going to risk you both being expelled at worst just because they don’t want to do their own work. Do the grown up thing and make the report and accept the consequences of your and your “friend’s” actions.

If someone took my paper during an exam, no matter who they were, I would stand up and tell them to give it back and stop trying to cheat off of me. Loudly and in the middle of the test if necessary. This would be immediate notification to the TA and everyone else that this person is a cheater and needs to be dealt with. From there, its the TA and the cheater’s problem, not mine. This is one of the appropriate behaviors in this situation. Allowing someone, “friend” or not, to continue to use you is not.

@klutzaroo, it must have been nice for you never to have been put under peer pressure.

Why would the TA even consider that the student is lying though? What could the student possibly gain from lying about it? They’re obviously very worried… If I was the TA I would find out the name of the other student, have them both sit detention or I dunno, a counselling session (at least the first student to encourage them to stand up for themselves), both fail one test, then make sure all teacher’s know to separate them from now on. That way there’s no way for the second student to blame the first, the TA should not tell the second student that the first student came to them otherwise they could become the subject of bullying.

@shrubbery, first of all, there is not a person alive that has not been under some sort of peer pressure, at one time or another. The way to have it stop is to not give into it. Once you stop doing things that people pressure you to do, they stop pressuring you. Generally, because they stop being your “friend.” Because they weren’t your friend in the first place, but using you. Your friends will not cheat off of you. People who use you cheat off of you. You are a victim here because you are letting yourself be a victim.

If you know someone is going to text you to sit next to them so they can cheat off of you, and you don’t think you’re going to not have the strength to resist, leave the damn phone in the car so you don’t get the text. You can live without it for a half a day.

You could get to class early, and sit in the front first, and save them a seat. When they ask you to sit next to them in the back, say no, that you’re fine where you are. Tell them that you heard that it’s good luck to sit in the front row; those people usually get A’s.

Stop referring to the person as a friend. If you’re afraid of them, they are not a friend.

@BarnacleBill, I’m not saying that’s not what I’d do as the student, normally I would completely agree with you. But from the TA’s point of view, which is what this question is actually asking, I’d be more concerned with how worried and upset this student seems to be. I would not want to put them in a position to be bullied. That is why I would try the detention/counselling (for next time- maybe telling them exactly what you have said here)/having the teacher’s separate them method.

By telling your TA, you have placed yourself under the obligation to stay away from this person during the exam. The TA is on notice that there is a person in class that is attempting to cheat. His duty during proctoring the exam is to ride this person’s ass and not let it happen.

Seriously. You have three choices here.
1. “Accidentally” leave your phone in the car, get to class early, sit in the front row, smile nicely, and refuse to move. Let the chips fall where they may.
2. Let the person cheat off you, get kicked out of school for an honor code violation. Have it follow you for the rest of your life.
3. Miss the exam, fail the class, take it over to get the F off your record.

What the TA or the loser who cheats off of you is less important than what you think of yourself. You might want to think about counseling to work on self-esteem issues if you have problems with peer pressure and being bullied. It’s a terrible place to be, where preoccupation with what other people might think of you dictates your actions.

Frankly, I would think that you need to grow up, and I very well might say so. You’re an adult; it’s time to stand on your own two feet. I would not think that you were lying, but I also would not be impressed by you.

You need to take responsibility for your actions. You chose to sit by her, and you let her take your paper. Understand that this is not stuff that she is doing to you; you are making choices. It’s time for you to own that rather than blame shifting. You are cheating just as much as she is.

If I were your TA, I should report both of you to the administration and you would likely both be expelled from the university since academic integrity is of utmost importance. However, I would probably be more gracious than that because I have compassion for you. We would have a long conversation about what it means to be an adult and take responsibility for yourself. I would try to help you see that who you are does not depend on what she thinks of you. Hopefully, I would persuade you not to let her (or anyone else) walk on you like this again. We would discuss the importance of learning to tell people “no” and the consequences of failing to do so.

In essence, I would tell you the tough stuff that you need to hear, but I would also be gentle because I know that growing up is a learning process and you’re trying. The hardest part would be the decision I would leave you with. Based on our conversation, I obviously have to watch this other student more carefully, so I will notice if you help her again. Since you already know her style, you are asking for trouble if you sit with her next test. If I see the two of you cheating, I will have to report both of you to administration. I strongly suggest you stand up for yourself and sit elsewhere, but the choice is yours.

@shrubbery Your great concern over peer pressure and your suggestion that detention is a reasonable consequence make me think that you are assuming the OP is in high school. However, TAs only exist in college. Thus, the OP is no longer a child and will not be treated as such.

@bobbinhood oh, I thought it just stood for “Teacher’s Assistant” and I don’t know about you but I don’t have teachers in university. I have lecturers or professors or doctors, so yes you’re right I did assume they meant highschool so I guess my answer doesn’t really apply then.

What is the honor code at the school? This is a report of cheating. What are you supposed to do? You could fail the student for the test. But there has to be a university policy to guide you on this.

@shrubbery By the time people get to college (where one would have a TA, generally teaching entry level classes), its time to grow up and be an adult. Peer pressure exists and has always existed, but adult consequences exist as well. Detention and counseling don’t apply any more. This person could get expelled. They could definitely fail the class. And all because they refused to stand up to a user, someone who isn’t their “friend” by any means, and refuse to let them cheat. Its past time to learn to deal with peer pressure when it comes to cheating or drinking or whatever illegal shit college kids come up with to do.

@ilovechoc Grow up, stand up, admit what you did. Stop calling this person your friend and do what you need to do to save your ass. Expulsions from college are messy things. So is explaining to your parents or whoever why you failed a class you should have passed.

@wundayatta The OP is the student, so you know.

So, being a TA my opinion may help here. First of all, you should be a little less worried about trouble then you seem to be. Ethics violations tend to be a lot of work for the TA, and so in general we try to avoid them and try other methods to curb the behavior first. This is not necessarily the same everywhere but that would be what I would expect. And since the exam that they cheated on is over and done with, proving cheating gets to be near impossible, so anything happening about the old exam is unlikely.

Now, you absolutely do have a duty to tell the TA, and if you think they already suspect then not saying something will go a hell of a lot worse for you. Putting the TA on their guard will help a lot before the next exam, and will be appreciated.

Specifically what they will think of you is inherently subjective. I have no idea of this TA’s history or outlook. I’m rather optimistic, and so would probably think you’re on the level. Wouldn’t keep me from keeping an eye on you, but it would make it so that if something happened, much of my ire would probably avoid you. If the TA is more cynical, it may not go as well. But they’re not going to suddenly slap you with an ethics violation for telling them. Again, it would be a ton of work that wouldn’t actually go anywhere, so they might just be angry at you for having done it. Not great, but again, a lot better then what would happen if the cheating occurs again and you have said nothing.

Lastly, if you tell the TA they can do something to change where you sit. In that situation I would probably make up some silly excuse for changing seating around during the last exam (“You know, this seating arrangement is getting old. Everyone, change places!” etc). Not telling them robs them of a chance to do that, and so removes the possibility of them solving your problem for you.

And i agree with what others have said, this person is not your friend. Anyone who’s willing to risk their ‘friend’s’ grade and existence at the college for a exam score is not a friend.

We have a zero tolerance policy for cheating at my school, and that goes for the person doing the cheating and the person allowing it to happen.

If I were your TA, I would be failing you for the class right now. If/when you turned in the other person, I would fail him too.

@BhacSsylan is right, the paperwork sucks, but cheating is unacceptable.

@nikipedia Yeah, that depends on the situation and school. Our rules are sort of problematic, it’s actually quite hard for us to prove cheating. My lecture professor does some crazy stunts to trap cheaters. They work, but the fact that he has to go through them is telling. So for us, unless we’re sure and have great proof, we tend to use other methods.

@ilovechoc First, I disagree with those who are suggesting that you personally cheated. You passively enabled someone to cheat, and that is bad. But it’s not cheating. If I were your TA, I would be disappointed that you did not try to get my attention during the original exam and that you would not tell me who has cheated, but I would not look to get you in trouble for being bullied (even if you are getting a little old for that). If you allowed it to happen again, however, that would pass into the realm of active enabling—and that is cheating in my book.

As such, I do agree with those who say you need to learn how to stand up to this person, and I think it is at least in part your responsibility to make sure this doesn’t happen again. If you won’t say who is causing trouble, then a lot of the work will have to fall on you. On the assumption that there is no set seating pattern, the person will probably just follow you to your new seat if the TA or professor makes everyone move. I could patrol the room to try and prevent cheating, but I cannot be everywhere and I cannot stand in one place. You need to be willing to make a bit of a ruckus if this person acts up again. You also need to understand that I am looking to get this person in trouble if he is cheating.

If you sit next to this person again, you are as good as outing him as a cheater—especially if the TA already suspects something was going on. If you don’t sit next to him again, you’ve solved the short-term problem on your end. You haven’t eliminated the cheater from your midst, however, and that undermines more than you might realize. So while I would believe your story, I’m still not going to think much of you until you help me catch the cheater.

The honor code states what actions are required. At my school, it was up to the students to report cheating. Teachers had nothing to do with it. I never knew anyone who cheated the four years I was there.

If your honor code says you have to respond in such and such a way, then you do. If you inform your TA and the TA does nothing, you can go above their head. You push it as far as you feel like it.

Hi everyone, thank you so much for all your inputs.. I really appreciate it..
Just an update of my story, the reason why I didn’t immediately report him/her during the exam when he took my papers is because:
I was really panicking at that time when my friend took my papers, and at the same I actually sort of know that he/she is going to look at my answer during the exam (because otherwise why would he/she ask me to sit beside him/her), but I really wasn’t expecting him/her to take away my papers.. I wasn’t expecting him/her to be that brave.. So I was battling between what I should do because I’m really scared that somebody will find out and was really distracted too because sometimes half of my answers were in the previous page (which was with that person), and I need that part to answer the rest of my questions.. And it’s really scary to talk softly/whisper during the midterm to get your paper back from him.. I “silently” tried to get the TA’s attention for help but because the TA was looking at his book so he couldn’t see me. So alot of thoughts were running through my mind at that moment and I really couldn’t decide in an instant what I should do, so eventually I just kept quiet.. I don’t really know if you have ever felt this way before, but I often get stressed out easily even by small things.. so I was really stressed out at that moment and was at a lost of what to do.

I’m very aware that I’m in a wrong position.. and that’s why I felt the burden of guilt for the past few days.. It’s been a few days that I couldn’t sleep because of it, that’s why I decided to talk to the TA about it yesterday.. I must say my TA is a VERY NICE person.. He said that he’s not going to give me or him any trouble, but advised me alot of stuff.. However, the reason why I’m afraid that he will think that I may lie because:

1). I’m not that smart of a student (just average).. and the TA knows it.. and I was looking scared and nervous when I confessed of what had happened during the exam to him.
2). My friend who took away my papers is really smart (not in terms of studying, but thinking). For example, for some questions that I’m not sure of how to do them, he’ll look at another person who’s sitting beside him on the other side and wrote them down. So he definitely has more answers than I do. Also, he handed in his papers before me (maybe because if for any reasons we’ll be caught, people will think that he’s not the one who’s cheating because he handed in his paper first).
3). while I was telling the TA about it, it may look like I’m protecting him, because I keep saying if it’s possible to please not give the other person trouble, and please don’t mention of what I said to him(the TA) to my friend.. Although I may look like protecting him, but the truth is I just don’t want to put anyone into a bad position, or put them into trouble because then I’ll feel really bad.. Not to mention that my friend will get mad if me if he/she knows that I told the TA about it.. So I really don’t want to have any conflicts or tensions or things like that, because then I’ll be stressed out by it again.

And yes I’m actually in university right now. Maybe I’m stupid for letting him/her cheat, but at the same time I feel pitiful because he/she keeps on saying that he/she really needs help, and keeps asking me for help during the exam.. So I feel really bad, and that’s why I eventually agree on sitting beside him.. So I definitely know that he’s going to look at my answers during the exam.. But I honestly wasn’t expecting that he/she will go as far as taking away my answers.. (maybe because my handwriting is really small and that’s why he/she couldn’t really read them from far)..

I don’t know if I’m just overthinking/ being oversensitive, but yeah.. due to the reasons that I mentioned earlier, that’s why I’m kind of worried that my TA might see me as lying – which I honestly don’t.. I even still has all of my friend’s text messages asking me for help.. But I really don’t want to show it to the TA because then I’ll be a really bad person..

I think I’m really stupid

@ilovechoc You are not stupid, but you do need to stand up for yourself and tell your friend no next time. If he is so much smarter than you (like you think he is), he wouldn’t be cheating off of not only you, but the others around him as well. It’s not your problem if he doesn’t study and prepare for the exams well enough and it is not your responsibility to help him do well on the exams. Now that you’ve told the TA about it, he will probably keep a closer eye on you and your friend. If you get caught cheating during the exam, you will both get in trouble, not just your friend. You need to protect yourself in this situation. Good luck!

@ilovechoc Whoa, so I thought you meant they jsut took your answers, not the whole damn exam. Wow. Sorry, but you’re being way too defensive of this person. Again, they are obviously not really your friend if they are willing to not only steal your answers and put your academic record at risk, but also do things to put you in the worse position, in terms of getting caught! You need to take responsibility and stop this.

@BhacSsylan i know you think that I’m really ridiculous.. Even I have to agree that I’m ridiculous.. sigh Actually, I don’t mean to be defensive over this person.. In fact, I’m really angry with that person too, but it’s just that hmm.. I think i’m scared of having conflicts or anything of that sort with anyone..
Sometimes I hate myself too for being so stupid.. There are too many instances when I think someone had made use of me (and often led me into getting trouble), but usually I just kept quiet.. Although I’m extremely angry, but all I can do is just bottle up everything inside me.. There are alot of people who said that I’m stupid, and told me to stop being too kind.. sigh Sometimes I really wish I can be braver or be able to say “no” to something that I’m not willing to do.. or you know.. “explode” to the person that I’m angry with to express my anger ..

It doesn’t take an explosion. It just takes standing in front of the mirror and practicing saying “No” in a multiple of ways. After about the 200th time you look yourself in the eye and say no, you can pretty much say it to anyone. And there are so many ways to say No without actually using the word.

Why the hell are you not wanting someone who is stealing your work to not get in trouble? They deserve to be in trouble. This person is not in any way, shape, or form your friend. Someone who would risk you getting in trouble just because they want to cheat is not your friend. There’s nothing “brave” about what’s being done here, just things that are monumentally stupid. There’s no need to quietly request your papers back if someone is blatantly abusing you and stole your work. You stand up, go to the TA, and let them know. This situation is absurd. Not only is this “friend” endangering your grade and your entire college career, they’re resenting you from doing your best on your test and you’re worried about getting them in trouble?

There’s one simple phrase for all of this. Fuck that. Fuck not getting them in trouble they deserve, fuck allowing them to walk all over you, fuck not “putting anyone in a bad position” when they don’t give a flying fuck about the position they’re putting you in. Fuck the idea that this person is anything more than an asshole who is abusing your refusal to stand up for yourself. Go tell the TA what happened, leave the bullshit about not getting people in trouble that they fully deserve out of it.