I’m the creepy lady at the table by the window, with a what once used to be a very expensive dress, although it’s all worn out and moth eaten by now. I’m wearing many jewels, all big chunkers, but they’ve lost their shine. The flowers in my hair have long died, and so has my hair. I’m still waiting.
Joking lol. I’ve never waited or looked for love. To me, the subject is very complicated, but from what I get, I don’t think it’s much like how it’s portrayed. Maybe a survival thing, or an image thing, or a fantasy thing, I denno.
Last guy I went out with, we were together for two years give or take. It was great. It was slow starting off, we barely did much besides casual dating for almost six months. I’m pretty shy though, so that’s me to blame. I’m like, some antisocial maniac or something, and he’s a social butterfly. Opposites attract I guess? But he stuck with me during those first months.
Despite the slow start, before I knew it, we were practically living together. He was either at my place, or I was over at his place. Usually my place, because he lived with his buddies, who just played WoW all the time lol. He cooked for me, he’s a damn good cook. He was always fixing up my computer or upgrading it.
I, on my part, cleaned his apartment. It was a FUCKING mess. All the time. But he totally appreciated it when I fixed it up, even if it would get messed up in two days again lol.
Both of us are huge movie fans, but his collection eclipsed mine like nobody’s business. He wasn’t a horror fan like I am, but he watched them with me because he knew I enjoyed it.
We always went out on what we called random car rides, to some random place to explore. Even if his fucking car was always one hair from busting down in pieces lol. The front passenger seat door wasn’t even the original one lol. We had sex in a graveyard once, and another time by a waterfall. It was pretty awesome lol, and I mention this because he helped me a lot with the whole sexuality thing, which, otherwise, I feel awkward and inadequate with.
He’s also really intelligent, he taught me so much stuff. He was a college student, so he had to show off all this shit he knew and sound off on, but thing is, he DID know his shit, and I learned lots. He was always pushing me to go back to school too, which I eventually did, but that was after we broke up lol.
On my part, he said he loved how freaky and abnormal I am, and besides calling me his personal circus freak, he said I was his doorway to fucked up things the world had to offer, and that he always welcomed it.
We also gave each other super awesome gifts all the time. On Valentine’s, I burned a CD for him, that had a bunch of movie soundtracks on it. He LOVES techno remixes of famous movie tracks.
On my CD gift, every first letter of the songs spelled out ’‘be my valentine’’ lol. A friend helped me out a lot with that one, so I guess I kinda cheated. XD
On his part, he always just asked me; so, what video game or movie are you interested in? I’d give an answer, and find it on top of my pillows soon after lol.
We left each other eventually, through consensus. In the last couple months, all the magic went out and the spark was gone. He brought it up first, saying, we’re not going anywhere, and that he didn’t love me anymore. It took one Sunday afternoon, and that was it. I was pissed and angry, but he was right. All that stuff that seemed all magical and shit, we weren’t doing anymore. We were just people we knew. I knew that but didn’t wanna accept it at that point lol. Still though, it wasn’t too rough, and to this day, we still talk and say hi. A few times we went out for coffee and caught up. He has a new girlfriend now, so it’s all good. He’s going on with his life, and I with mine.
I always thought it was cool that we broke up but didn’t end up hating each other after.
Haha but I remember the first time I met him. He worked in one of those internet coffee shops, part time. This one no longer exists anymore. But I saw him there, and he served me coffee lol and something weird happened inside me. XD I purposely went back to that shop often just to see him, although I had little interest in the establishment.
Once, when leaving, I was ’‘subtly’’ looking at him, but because I wasn’t paying attention I ended up bonking my head on the door as I was opening it to leave lol. But we ended up talking a lot eventually, me always bothering him on his shifts lol. I used to get pissed that we were always interrupted by customers. XD Once he offered me a ride home after his shift, and that was the starting point, pretty much.
That whole thing to say, it just happened. I wasn’t looking for any love, and I don’t even know if I did love this guy. But whatever it was, if it wasn’t love, it was close enough I think. So like, I’m not waiting for love, nor was I then, and if I don’t experience anything like this again, at least I had that which I posted about. I won’t ever forget it, and it was good at the time and I’m happy with it. If it happens again with someone else, then cool. If not, that’s fine. I still miss him sometimes though lol.
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