How do you tell people at work you are going to do your civil registration without having them freak out ?

Don’t tell them. It’s not their business.
If I were your colleague, I would not care to know. The exception is the HR department. Those folks need to know about your change in status for tax, benefits, and insurance purposes.

Yea, I agree. Sounds like you don’t want anyone to know so I say don’t tell them.

Don’t tell anyone that doesn’t need to know. If word gets out, or you do want to tell some people, just say, “We’re having a civil ceremony, not a wedding. We may or may not have a church wedding down the line.” That’s it. Not sure why anyone would freak out about that?

Handle it as you wish. It is your civil ceremony.

I was in a similar situation when my fiancé and I became engaged. We are planning on a civil ceremony as well, with only his parents in attendance as the witnesses.

At work, the word got out fairly quickly after telling a few close co-workers (including my supervisor), and changing the relationship status on Facebook. Overall, it worked out well. Those that wanted to offered congratulations, and life at work went on without a big fuss, which suited me just fine.

So, to answer your question, if I was your colleague, I would understand. Bear in mind that there could be those that take offense or even speculate as to why you don’t mention it during day-to-day interactions and hear it from another source. The only challenge I experienced was mentally keeping track of who was in the know. One co-worker took offense by my not telling her personally and having to hear it through the grapevine, but that is a whole other story.

We both agreed with our families that we are going to have a proper church wedding next year where they would all be invited. This statement is intriguing. If you don’t mind answering, why have two different ceremonies with months in-between?

I’m thinking about going to the courthouse this year on the date of my wedding next year and going ahead and making it legal and then waiting until the ceremony to make it official and announce to everyone. For me, there are a number of reasons. Insurance, being able to get on his plan, is one of them. I can’t plan a wedding, for various reasons, for when I want it and where I want it (and enough time in between now and then to have as many showers as possible to get back from some of those bajillion wedding gifts I’ve bought for other people), so I’m having it when I can. But there are things I don’t want to have to wait for and I don’t really intend to.

I’m not telling anyone or changing my name until after my wedding ceremony. Because its none of their business. I’m telling my dad (who handles my taxes because he needs to know) and my boss (because I have to get the day off). Its nobody else’s business, you don’t have to worry about telling them. If your boss wants to spread the word, that’s an inappropriate invasion of your privacy and you need to have a word with him or with HR (or both) about it.

You do not need any family to witness, because there are employees at the court house who will sign as witness to the contract for you. I don’t think you should have a second wedding, but simply an anniversary reception, if you wish.

@YARNLADY She’s not having a wedding. She’s making a legal agreement.

@klutzaroo Yes, I can see what you mean. Most people would call the legal agreement a marriage, but you’re right, not a wedding.

i am having wedding next year because i live far away from my family.. i.e in another country half way around the world.

Thank you for responding. That makes sense. I don’t know what country you are moving to, but I will be heading off to the UK on a fiancée visa. The rules are that we need to marry within a few months, and I cannot leave the UK for six months after it is issued. Mom is reluctant to travel there due to health concerns. She would like for us to have a small church ceremony back in the US once all the legal matters are handled accordingly on the UK side.

While the ceremony of two people making a lifetime commitment to each other is a personal matter, there are people who care about you and your intended and want to share in the joy. In my little section of the world, a private civil ceremony is unusual. I look upon it as an opportunity to help them understand that, a.) some people choose to take this path, and b.) some people have no choice.