Can I get my girlfriend back?

any advice?

You need to give more details. Who broke up with who? Do you want to be back in a relationship with her? Why did you break up? How old are you?

I would say this kind of activity results in one person using the other 90% of the time (my estimate). Beware.

I am 20, she is 18. She broke up with me. And i am aware that im probably being used, but still.

Base on the details provided in your OP, I’d recommend playing this song for her.

But if you’re into games, just ignore her calls and get the word out that you’ve met someone else. Not dating. Just met someone else. And from what your friends say, this imaginary girl isn’t into using games and appreciates you for who you are.

She’ll come running back, and then you’ll have a whole new set of worries to deal with. Like is she going to stay, or cheat.

yeah… but maybe it will work out and problems will be minimal.

Anything is possible. But I find that life presents us with a couple of options for how we deal with things.

Things we use, are easily replaced.

Things we respect, stay with us for much longer, perhaps unto death.

So ask yourself if she’s returning with respect for you, or to use you.

I’m trying to figure that out. It will be easier to tell when I see her.

Impossible for us to say. If I were you (and I wanted to get back together), I’d use the night she stays at your place to talk to her about it.

I’m going to. And I’m thinking she might be more open to it after (sorry for being vulgar) we have sex. Cause then maybe she will feel closer to me or something.

First, you should not be trying to get back with this girl. It’s okay to want to, but don’t try.
Second, she broke up with you. Ergo, she is not your girlfriend. Sorry, but that’s how it works.

Better to date other women and pretend she’s nothing to you.
If you think she might be using you, then she probably is. If you are ok with that, then I must assume you are ok with using her as well. So:
Don’t be egregiously mean, but don’t be nice, either.
Make sure she knows staying with you is a BIG FAVOR you are doing for her and she’s putting a cramp in your busy social life. Do not go into details here. Don’t even talk about what else you could be doing. It’s not her business, right? The important thing is that she’s putting you out… so she should put out.

On the other hand, if you are NOT ok with using this girl as you’ve been used, do not let her stay with you under false pretenses.
If you care about her, don’t lie to her. At all.
If you care about her, and you think she is using you: DO NOT ALLOW IT. She will not feel closer to you, she will not respect you, she will use you until she is tired of you and then move on. This may already have happened.

My best advice to you is to forget her entirely (or at least to cease all communication and allow her to think you have forgotten her) and to find someone else. She’s not so special that there aren’t 1000 women in a 30-mile radius that aren’t better. Go looking. You don’t need this kind of crap.

I still think there’s a piece of her that loves me. I mean I know her and I know she isn’t completely heartless.

If “using you” is strictly for sex, you are going to end with a broken heart.

What you need is what she has inside her body….....her heart. Work on this angle with her. No sex, just plain talk. Get to know each other much better than you two are now.

If you are really serious about her, make sure she feels the same way about you, BEFORE you lay your cards on the table.

You can tell almost immediately if she is for real or just a generic lover.

She may be more open to it if you don’t initiate sex. It the relationship is about sex, that may be a factor in why she broke up with you. If the idea that you’re being used even surfaces in your head, then probably someone is using someone along the line here, and perhaps the relationship needs to stay as it is.

Am I the only one bothered by the statement, ”...and I know she isn’t completely heartless”? If you think you are being used, why would you want her back?

I think you should start going out with other people. Sometimes we get stuck in a rut. We like the familiarity of someone we have been with rather than the awkwardness that can come from trying something new. Did she tell you why she was breaking up with you?

Can you? Yes.

But if it clearly isn’t working, don’t dwell on it.

You are 20 yet you could be the perfect gentleman and just give her a place to stay the night. Or call her, cancel and say you have other plans. You maybe setting yourself up for needless regrets, doubts and sadness the morning after. This is usually what happens when young and single people have one night get togethers without any clear understanding of why and what for. You may have plans to get her back but personal experience taught me this is not the ideal situation to do it. Maintaining respectful distance is the key and sex hardly leads to a meaningful long term result.

She maybe using you but only if you let her. And if you have sex and both enjoy it then the using part is mutual. Sorry for using the word “using” for describing what sex you may have. It seems you are not really in love with her and definitely neither is she.

Thing is there was a long time where we were completely in love, even her mom and older sister thought we would end up getting married at some point. And I did more for her than most people could realize cause she had some family issues.

So you feel like she owes you something? For goodness sakes, 20 and 18 is “adults with training wheels.” The best part of your life lies ahead of you, with someone who doesn’t owe you anything and isn’t using you.

Tell her she can’t stay with you, and move on with things. You are going to only be miserable if you treat relationships like debts that must be paid.

But I want to see her. Even if I’m just pretending it will still be nice to hold her while we sleep again.

Go back and read the key words in your comments on your question, and you should get a clue about what you need to do to get your girlfriend back. If you can’t see it, and you don’t fix it, you’re probably going to have a pattern with relationship problems.