How can you get over depression resulting from losing a longtime job?

Get a new job or start a business.

I love the “flat tire” analogy.

It explains how cursing, getting mad, scared, regretful or frustrated will do absolutely nothing to change that friggin’ tire.

So I say, BE DEPRESSED. Luxuriate in the misery.
Wallow in it.

In due time, you’ll get hungry enough to do whatever you need to do pick yourself up and find another job.

The depression will take care of itself.

It depends on why you are depressed. Are you depressed because you don’t have a job, period? Are you depressed because you don’t have this particular job? Are you depressed because you are jobless and your whole self image is tied up in having a job, or having this particular job? Are you depressed because it looks like it’s too hard to find another job? Are you depressed because your skills are out of date?

I’m sure I could go on, but I do think it matters why you are depressed.

What we are talking about here is a situational depression. That means that if you can deal with the cause of the depression, you can get rid of the depression. This is different from clinical depression, which has no environmental cause. It’s a problem with your brain chemistry.

Clinical depression needs meds and therapy and a whole set of other coping techniques. Situational depression doesn’t necessarily need meds, although they are often used. Situational depression, if not dealt with, can also turn into clinical depression. Then it’s not just the situation causing the problem; it’s become an endemic problem.

So I would see a doctor. Meds might be able to help you improve your mood to the point where it would be easier to deal with your problems. I would also see a therapist, if possible. They can help you do problem solving. A career counselor can coach you through your job hunting process and they can be very good at helping you feel better about yourself.

Then I would do the normal stuff. I’d get exercise every day. At least a half hour. Preferably more. I would do some volunteer work. Helping others makes you feel more capable and useful, and it can be helpful in job networking. Go to sleep at 11 every night. When you’re unemployed, you can easily stay up til 3 or 4 in the morning. This is very bad because it keeps you from getting the sleep you need, which makes you more susceptible to depression. You also want to eat well. Not a lot of unhealthy foods that you eat for comfort. Eat healthily.

I would address the specific issues that are causing your depression. I’d analyze them and do some problem solving. A therapist will be really helpful here. You should develop a plan that breaks everything down into small steps that are easy to take. Looking at the whole thing can be overwhelming. Making a plan can make it seem possible.

Finally, I think some coping techniques might be good. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is focussed on positive thinking. Personally, I am not capable of manipulating myself into positive thinking, so mindfulness works a lot better for me. It inoculates me from the thoughts telling me I can’t do shit. I’m not worth shit. No point in trying. That helps you do what you need to do instead of stopping yourself before you start.

First off, as tough as it may seem, in the long run it will not be the toughest thing you ever face. Try to keep that in mind. Many job losses are a blessing in disguise.

I have been on the other side of it several times. One of them after 14 years and one after 7 years.

You simply have to focus on getting a new job. Stay in your same routine of wakeup, shower, etc. Log all activities about your new job search. If you are unclear about how to go about a job search, there are plenty of resources available. Ask questions on job search if needed.

Now is not usually the best time to think about going back to school or changing careers. You need to get back on your feet in your comfort zone. Look to do those things when you are solidly employed.

During the great dotcom crash I became unexpectedly self-employed after 10 years of service to a major high-tech company. I took the opportunity to do a few of those jobs around the house that I had been neglecting due to lack of time. I found the manual labor to be very therapeutic.

It also made me realize a few things, and I think I have been much better for it.

1) No matter how much your love your job, your job does not love you back.

2) No matter how loyal you are to your company, the goal of any company is to turn a profit and that company will not hesitate to throw you to the wolves if it makes business sense.

3) The worker bees in a company have a rather limited sphere of influence. No matter how great a relationship you have with your immediate boss, or even your bosses boss, unless you are in upper management most decisions that impact whether or not your position will be required in the coming quarters are made very far outside of your sphere of influence, and the hands of those within your sphere if influence are generally tied in these matters.

Along with these realizations comes the realization that should you decide to work for another company, it doesn’t pay to become too emotionally invested. This is not to say that you shouldn’t put your heart into your work. By all means, always do your best. However, it is wise to keep a bit of emotional detachment and keep the employee/company relationship in perspective

@YoBob – I completely concur.

And in keeping with that theme, reach out to others right away, if only to remind you that there are people who love you exactly as you are, no matter your income, job status or social status, and that you are not your job! That’s what helped me get through when I lost my job.