When you didn't feel you could ask straight out, how did you "ask" for what you wanted?

Through interpretive dance.;)
Actually,I will usually just come out and ask.I can’t imagine ever asking anyone to accept one of my friends and I certainly didn’t ask for that while I was dating.
As for sex?I wouldn’t ask for it.I’d just take it :D
Be brave,damnit! :)

LOL @lucillelucillelucille ..I wish I could answer everything in interpretive dance. Thank you, that made my day :)

As for the question, I usually just ask; or do so in writing if it’s really difficult. Lol or get someone else to ask for me :P

I find interpretive sulking to be more natural.

It’s simple:
I don’t date. I don’t have sex, and my parents never required permission for me to go out with someone. Therefore, I don’t have to ask such things.

I wasn’t allowed to date until I was at least 16yrs old so that meant I was a high school graduate, living on my own and permission no longer needed.

As for dating, I learned not to ask a man for a date who hadn’t first asked me, it never went well. People have the tendency to accept dates on a point of politeness rather than genuine interest so I put an end to asking for dates quickly.

Asking for sex? I’m a female and have been considered a pretty attractive one so having to ask for sex hasn’t ever been an issue. Asking for specific sex acts or frequency or whatever within a relationship though is something totally different- I had to learn to speak up instead of expecting my partner to be a mind reader. Hording expectation and bitterness is wasteful.

I never beat around the bush. I just asked.
I learned at a pretty early age to accept and not expect.
Saved a lot of time that way.
NEXT?

In my tenth grade Public Speaking class we had to write and perform a persuasive speech. I wrote mine about how a certain boy in that class should go out with me. It was an excellent paper, very persuasive, and I intended to read it aloud straight-faced to the entire class.

But then I chickened out. I told him about it years later and he said it totally would have worked. Damn!

I always thought that if I asked and was turned down, everyone would laugh at me in the school hallways and I’d be considered a total loser. So I never asked. I found other ways to be with girls—mostly hanging out with groups. It became quickly obvious who liked whom.

I did venture to ask a few women to dance at dances, but got shot down every time. I did meet my wife dancing, but it wasn’t one of those club dancing situations. It was more like a workshop, and people were there to dance, not show how cool they are. Or how desirable.

I’ve never been able to get along on my looks. I may not look so bad, but I always was convinced I was ugly. So I never really had any cards to play with. People had to know me for me to have a chance to be listened to. And if women knew me, they never thought of me as boyfriend material. High school was not my favorite time of life.

Dropping suggestions can work but at the possible price of misinterpretation so look out for that. But being direct can be accomplished with some finesse so that the other person feels comfortable with responding however they genuinely feel. If there’s a rejection involved that’s a softer mood to get that across too.

@dabbler I had no clue how to do that when I was in hs.

Shadow puppets…

or post a question on fluther through an alias and then confront your SO / partner / target and say, “Hey look at this question that came up in my profile, what’s your take on this?”

“If we take a bath together it would save a lot of water” I did that once and by golly it worked. Just ask my wife.

I was very shy with my first ever girlfriend & felt too bashful in asking her for a kiss. I overcame this tricky adolescent hurdle by grabbing her hand & shoving it down my pants. Aww, there’s nothing like a few tugs on Percy to help break the ice. Literally within seconds I was eating her face off, happy romantic memories. I shall never forget her, she was called…....what was her name aga…...!?!

I’m now confused about the question ..is it only referring to when we were younger and those relationships?

I was incredibly shy throughout most of my school years…so, I just didn’t ask questions (nor was I interested in intimate relationships, lol).

It’s not just about early in life, but that’s when this was a big problem for me. Of course, there are many things I’m still reluctant to ask for because I know I will be told no.