Why are so many flutherers (and other people) so afraid to be free to be themselves?

I may just be biased though, because I’m a bit of a hippie, who isn’t afraid to sing out loud in public, in tune or no, doesn’t shave, isn’t afraid to show cleavage if I feel like showing cleavage, sometimes goes commando, goes skinny dipping at the beach, and enjoys enjoying life…

Is it an age thing? As I get older, I get less and less concerned about what people who are unimportant to me think about me. It’s wonderfully liberating.

Here’s a song to enjoy.

Because they succumb to what they perceive “society” expects them to be/do. Bullshit, there’s nothing expected of anyone. Just do your own thing man, it’s for the best.

Not me.

We’re social animals. Concern for status within our groups is kind of hard-wired into us. The kind of independent-minded individualism you’re talking about is, for some people, actually just another ploy to increase their status within the group. We just happen to live in a culture that places some value on that kind of spirited non-conformity and prizes the individual, so putting our non-conformity on display can actually be a way of seeking admiration. They want to be seen as “special”, in other words.

People who really don’t care what others think about them are either highly spiritually developed, have some kind of impairment of their social intelligence or are outright sociopaths. People who fall into these categories, though, are unlikely to try to draw attention to their non-conformity.

That said, we do have differing and ever-changing views on how rigid our unspoken social rules should be. Some of us want them to be very restrictive (and drawn to accommodate our own preferences, of course), and so they’ll be highly judgmental and try to police those rules. Others prefer a looser set of rules, and they may press for that by pushing back in a public way against the rules that others try to impose. But we all recognize the need for some rules.

People who ask the “Is it OK to______?” kind of questions are trying to figure out what the rules are. They may not have yet acquired the confidence to assert their own views about how the rules should be (not all individuals among social animals can be leaders, and that’s a very “leaderly” stance to take).

Definitely not me. Haha.

GA @thorninmud .

People are way too concerned with what others think. It drives me nuts. Learning the basic rules of what is and isn’t acceptable in society is one thing, but worrying about whether others will think you’re cool or nerdy or whatever – that’s just unnecessary drama.

Stop watching so much TV and reading crap magazines. Learn to love you for you, do what makes you happy and fuck everyone else.

Why are you making assumptions about the entire Fluther community from a few answers to a few questions?

Stop generalizing.

Speak for yourself my dear. lol

I am as ‘free’ as they come, a fly by the seat of my pants, mountain dwelling, bohemian entrepreneur. Can’t learn to fly hiding in your nests! I am grateful that what ‘others’ think, has never been part of my decision making processes.

I’ve always done what many others are afraid to do, live in a rather unconventional way and do my own thing. So far, so good, here I am, still living life my way, with the only ‘goal’ I have ever had, to live a creative lifestyle and stay out of the rat race.

Go ahead, move my cheese, I’ll find new cheese! :-)

I’m definitely not afraid to be myself, as proven by most of comments on fluther. I am ME and to hell with anyone who has a problem with it.

I am ovine, hear me baaaaa. Anybody buying that?

@WillWorkForChocolate

That’s why we like each other so much, water seeks it’s own level. lol

I never knew ovine was sheep. I learned something new today. Here me baaaaa!

@Adirondackwannabe

We’ve talked about this before, stay away from my sheep! lol

/facepalm

@Coloma Hey, I went to an ag school, where the men are men and the sheep are afraid.

I am me, and I’m fabulous. There. Sometimes that fits into what others expect, and often it doesn’t.

I wonder what other people think about me all the time. I want to be liked. I want to be respected.

Yet I probably do less than anyone else to modify what I think in order to please the masses. I have two rules. Make yourself say whatever you think. Don’t edit. I don’t always follow those rules to the letter of the rule, but I am a pretty strict taskmaster for myself.

This means that at once I am terribly fearful of what people think, and I don’t give a shit. Two personalities in one person, I think.

Usually when I write, I don’t care. Writing is a refuge from worrying about myself and what people think of me. I guess it’s because of my rules. Write down the first thing in my mind and never take it back. Mostly.

Rational, moral people care about what other people think about them. Narcissists don’t.

Only thirteen year olds think they’ll get useful answers about what the people who mean something to them think about them by asking Fluther.