Can I get my 4 years old's teacher notes?

I would think as a parent you would have full disclosure of your childs records, here in this state the daycares and preschools are governed by DCYF, find out how governs them where you are and see what you are priviliged to and get it in writting, then if it says you are able to see their full file then I suggest getting it in writting, reaproach the preschool then if you get no where report them to the place that governs it. (by governs it I mean gives them their licenses)

Contact your local schoolboard with your request for those notes. There is no reason why you should not be given copies.

That is ridiculous. It’s like there is still an argument over who owns the medical record, the patient or the doctor. I don’t know if you can get the notes, but I sure as hell would make sure my child does not have the same teacher next year, and if there are similar problems next year, I would consider changing schools. Is it a private school?

Your recourse is to find a different preschool program if you are having issues.

This is your child. You make their decisions based on firm solid information. Do what’s best for your child and your family.

Yes it is a private school. Sorry for omitting that detail…

There is also the issue of what the teachers are observing. Perhaps your son would benefit from some gentle behavior modification. It can’t hurt.

Being in a classsroom environment with lots of other 4-year-olds may overstimulate your son in ways that do not happen at home.

Without observing the child, your pediatrician can only make generalizations.

The notes with the details may be relatively unimportant since there was more than one teacher and more than one parent- teacher conference.

Can you spend some time at school as an observer to see for yourself? Perhaps you are focusing too much on the messengers.

This is a perfect age to teach him skills for future social and cooperative ventures.

@pallen123 Just be careful. My girlfriend sent her child to a private preschool, and even had him there for kindergarten. He had a rep of being the aggressive kid, disobedient, I would be pretty sure the teachers hoped they would not get him in their class. The school was through 8th grade I think. I told her over and over to try the public school, but she was very very reluctant because she had attended Catholic school and wanted him to also, which I empathasize with. Finally, partly because of finances she switched him and the difference was immediate, he did much better in the public school.

I don’t think it has anything to do with private vs. Public, or that it was a Catholic school, it was just that school had type casted the kid. This may not be happening in your scool, but watch for it.

I have another friend who called me upset because her son’s school was recommending he take meds for ADHD. I had just been with them a month before, her son had no problem focusing on one thing for an extended period, he was not bouncing off of walls, it seemed ridiculous to me. Her son is a little slow in some minor ways, which we knew about. If his behavior was poor I felt it had to be the teachers fault.

ADHD, impulsive behavior is not something a child that young can control based on what location he is at, it would have to reflect the situation. So that would mean something at the school in my opinion, not the child. Although, it might be some sortbof group dynamic thing going on, being at school might have expectations he is having trouble adjusting to.

Yes, @gailcalled thank you. I did observe him for 2 hrs. through a one way mirror last week and saw none of the negative behaviors during that period. One teacher was reporting 80% of the time he is misbehaved (surprising to my wife and I because we see virtually no misbehavior at home). To see no misbehavior during a 2 hr. period was a bit alarming.

I would try a different school if possible. Sounds like one of the teachers and him rub each other the wrong way. This will rub off on the rest of the teachers and they will be expecting a little terror by the time he gets to them, which will affect how they treat him.

It sounds like a change in schools may be warranted.

I’d be most interested in finding a new place for him to be. “See a pediatrician about his behavior issues” is code for “we want you to drug him to make our lives easier”. Four-year-old boys are somewhat rambunctious. Your pediatrician has already told you that this is completely normal. If you attempt to keep your son where he is there will be more pressure applied, subtly and not so subtly, for for you to conform in your choice of pediatrician and “treat” your son to make him more tractable.

You and your current pediatrician have the right idea. Look for a new preschool. The “teacher notes” are a red herring – and a distraction, really.

Perhaps you could speak directly with the teacher and ask her to write up what she has seen so that you can share it with your pediatrician. That’s if you really want the notes. Personally, I agree with everyone else and think it may be best to find somewhere else for you child to go.

While watching your child for 2 hours did the teacher know she was being watched? I am sure your child didn’t.

Tell the teacher what your pediatrician said. Then tell the teacher if she wants you to do anything more than that, you need to see the notes…

Yes, you should be able to see the notes about your child. I agree what Answerbagger said in order to help your child, the teacher, pediatrician, and you need to work together to help your child. Remember the child is important to possible get the help she or he may need.Thank you, RTT

Rather than ask to see the notes ask for specific examples of his behaviour. If the behaviour is ‘typical for a four year old boy’ I can’t see that there is much of a problem.

I think you may have the wrong school for your child. When mine were in private grade school, the school did everything they could to weed out kids that required any sort of individualized attention. This usually meant kids who could not sit still and do worksheets, and it generally weeded out gifted kids or those with ADD.

Often what seems to be the “right” program for parents, sometimes turns out to not be the right choice for the child.

I agree that you should be able to see at least a summary of the notes.

I wonder if the policy of not sharing notes with outsiders if because 1) the notes probably include information about many students (not just your child) and 2) because the teacher may have written some semi-impulsive comments at the time which may not be something useful or relevant for the final report, and which may be misinterpreted by parents or others.

Anyway, it seems like you should be able to talk to the teacher and the administrator about the situation. They should be forthcoming about their observations, even if they can’t turn over the raw notes to you.

It would be nice if the teacher would share the notes with you, but you have no right to them and cannot force the school to provide them to you. A teacher’s notes are not medical records, nor are they likely to be part of your son’s official records (and if they are, they can be removed from it prior to releasing those records to you). If you really want them, you’ll have to convince the teacher to hand them over voluntarily. Something like @Answerbagger‘s approach might work here.

I think @WasCy may be correct about the notes being a bit of a red herring, however, as you have already been told that the behavior in question is normal for your child’s age group. If the teacher can’t deal with normal four-year-old behavior, s/he shouldn’t be teaching four-year-olds (or perhaps at all). Parents tend to be very forgiving of their children, never admitting that they are poorly behaved. But if you have been honest with your pediatrician about what you’ve heard in your parent/teacher meetings, and if the pediatrician is confident there is nothing to worry about regarding your son, then don’t let anyone force you into drugging the boy.