Does having a "one who got away" in your life affect your current relationship?

My one that got away got away more than 10 years ago. I still miss him and think about him – we were great friends and he was in a long-distance relationship that wasn’t really working, and I was too chicken to make a move. He’s now married with a baby boy, and I’m happy for him.

No, he doesn’t affect my current relationship. My life would be completely different if we had gotten together.

The only effect that “the one that got away” has on my current relationship is that it makes me appreciate how great it is. Although I didn’t think so at the time, a couple of decades later I am, frankly, quite glad she got away.

No.
I don’t give people that much power over me.

I used to think that I would never find a woman that was as good as her, but that’s obviously not true. I’m over her and I’m moving on, although that doesn’t mean I don’t miss her and don’t think about her anymore.

No, not at all. They don’t know what they’re missing…..showtime!! XD

There was nostalgia for that person… until I met my current spouse. After that, if that “other person” walked into the room it felt just like having anyone else walk in. That’s one way I knew my husband was the right one for me so quickly… our relationship answered so many questions that had been in my mind. It doesn’t affect my relationship/life whatsoever by not knowing what may have been with other people, but I think if you end up with the wrong person and aren’t completely happy, that question in the back of your mind can turn into a crumbling relationship.

No way. What’s in the past is in the past. It can only be a learning experience from here on. Make it affect you positively in any way you can going forward, but leave it at that. Be grateful for what you have and what you will have in the future! There are many paths to the same goal.

I have most of my old boyfriends on FB. I know that’s weird. I only have the ones who are happily married and I would be friends with them even if we never dated. I never really feel wistful about them. My husband is a good catch. Those other guys were OK too, but it just wasn’t right. I’m happy that they’ve met someone else.

I occasionally have daydreams about meeting up some guy that I had a crush on in middle school. I never actually spoke to this guy and I can’t remember his last name, but every now and then when I’m in a mood I think about meeting him and finding out that he’s my amazing soulmate. This is usually after my husband cuts a big heinous fart and then asks if I’m in the mood for nookie right afterwards. I daydream that Mister Whatsisname would NEVER do that.

LOL @keobooks

Advice to the ladies: Just remember, no matter how hot you think he is. In 20 years you are married to a lounge chair that farts!.

My current boyfriend had a “one that got away” and it affected our relationship initially. When we had started talking I had just gotten out of a long relationship. He was asking me advice on what to do seeing as we were talking and were planning on keeping things casual. We ended up dating and of course she contacts him and he tells me we can’t continue our relationship because he had to go after her. I understood and let him go. Soon he became my “one that got away”. For a while I was hurt and bitter, but as soon as I started to get over him I get a message from him because things didn’t work out with her. Apparently I was right when I warned him on what would happen.

Now we are dating again, but he still has her on his Facebook as a friend. It hurts me a bit because he told me when he was with her for that short time that we couldn’t be friends, that he had to focus on her. In a way it still affects me because I get antsy every time he gets a text message.

I believe there’s a reason that they “got away” and you’re better off in the end, really. If it’s meant to be, it will be. But it’s not so no need to dwell.

Tey all got away…I hope the one I got now don’t..but you never know. Oh well!

Yes, it does for me. I am still nostalgic and there’s a strong element of regret, because if I had done things differently, we probably could’ve ended up together. Although I have been in other relationships then, I haven’t met anyone who really does it for me like that person did. I think I may have let “the one” get away, and I didn’t even know it at the time. People always say that one day you’ll get to a point where you look back and say, “Wow, I wouldn’t be in the awesome place I am now if I had ended up with that person.” But that hasn’t happened to me.

I’m going to build off of a lot of what everyone else said. There are things in life that just need to be let go of. A lot of people seem to get their panties in a bundle when it comes to relationships. Just from personal experience, I know it’s OKAY to move on… and it’s also OKAY to have feelings of nostalgia towards someone or something, but remember that the world around you will keep on turning… and the earth will still continue it’s constant rotation. When you’re in a relationship and trying to let the other person go… you have to come to the realization that there are 6 billion people in this world. You’re bound to find at least one person who fancies you. That’s sometimes the issue with relationships these days. People are very caught up in this idea of love. I believe in love, of course, but I also have to keep thinking that there will always be more people out there for me. I used to be one to think of the one “who got away.” But the more I think about that, the sadder it makes me… it can even have a tremendous affect on current relationships.