I dunno. I have always been a woman that enjoys sex, but now, coming up on 52, it is just not that important to me anymore. I am single, divorced for 8.5 years and have had some lovers, but, I choose to be single, have zero interest in re-marrying and really, not into relationship much anymore either.
I like doing my own thing, being free of commitment after a long marriage and raising my child. I don;t have a desperate bone in my body and am very comfortable being alone.
I masturbate occasionally, joke about the turbo jets in my hot tub, have a few sex toys in the underware drawer, but, all and all I am good with my celibacy these days.
If I hooked up with someone again I am sure I would still enjoy the sexual aspect, but, sex is not even close to everything in a relationship.
Sexuality IS a healthy and natural expression of ones love for another, but, it is NOT a requirement, and, especially as we get a little older, I think there are many other aspects of relationship that take precedence.
Sex is not a function that is mandatory for living, it is a drive, not a need, like breathing.
Infact, the sex drive is the first thing to go during times of survival, the body eliminates the unnecessary energy expenditure on something that has no bearing on survival needs.
Regulating desire and taking into account the ‘normal’ shifts in such as men and women navigate the life process is just part of the ever changing nature of things.
I don’t believe in affairs, nor staying in unhappy relationships for reasons of finances, kids, or property. We are all responsible for our own happiness and if one is not happy they need to take charge, of themselves.
ALL relationships have their ebbs and flow, if the ebb is too longstanding and the parties involved cannot work out their differences in whatever arenas they show up in, either focus on the good stuff, the commonalities, or go.
My ex husband and I were extremely sexually compatible, but, his other issues were more than I cared to deal with after years of dysfunction that could no longer be denied.
I think a lot of men have unrealistic fantasies about some sort of never ending sexual Nirvana with a woman, just as a lot of women have unrealistic expectations of eternal romance.
The ‘boomer’ generation of males grew up on the Penthouse Forum fantasies and many have a hard time letting go of their youthful sexual narcissism as they age.
IMO a lot of sexual issues arise from unrealistic expectations and immaturity on behalf of one or both parties involved.
True ‘love’ has nothing to do with bumping body parts and everything to do with genuinely wanting whats best for the other.
When the mind and hearts are in sync, the parts naturally follow, and this is especially true for women.
Most women need to feel a solid sense of love and connection to give their sexual all. Many men neglect their women and worse, then complain they are not sexually satisfied.
Hurt a woman to her core, cheat on her, lie to her, well…you set it up that way!
Women want to fuck men, not whiney ass little boys and they want the men in their lives to be empathetic to the inevitable changes women endure that can effect their sexuality, from giving birth to menopause.
A womans sexual life undergoes many more shifts than a mans and men need to be sensitive to these changes.