Tips on bringing a family together?

Perhaps you have to become the lynch pin @Jude? Organise a BBQ or something similar to get you all together every few months. Perhaps organise them around people’s birthdays and at least once over the Christmas period. And put the next date for a get together in place at the meeting before. Don’t leave it as “we will have to do this again”. Rather, make it “we will do this again on xxx, does that suit everyone’s diary?”.

I hope it works out for you. If people don’t want to get together en masse, perhaps make sure you visit one of them each month. We get so busy that meeting each of them every month might be too difficult but one a month could be achievable.

In saying all this, none of my family speak to each other pretty well @Jude so I hope you can keep these connections open.

If you have the energy, be the one to try to set up some together time. Baby or not, you can take the initiative once or twice and see what develops.

If things don’t work out with your family-of-origin, embrace your new family of circumstances.

You could invite your family over for breakfast,lunch, or dinner.You could cook a nice meal for your family.You could invite your family to a barbecue on a sunny day.You could invite your family over and have everyone bring a covered dish with them. You could let them know it would be nice to get together and spend sometime with each other. If you believe in pray you could pray for a family get together. Thank you, RTT

You were 35 when you lost your Mom? Just going through the 30s and 40s is hard enough without losing your best friend and experiencing all the changes that come with that. I’m so sorry. It is tough Baby Girl.

July 4 is right around the corner. Plan something at your Dad’s place or definitely with him totally involved since he’s so passive. Take charge and do what makes “YOU” feel good. Everyone else be damned! Life is too short for regrets. The older you get, the faster time goes! Be happy and take chances!

My husband’s family had never taken a vacation together. I contacted everyone one year in advance, individually and told them our plans to rent a house on the ocean. I told them to let me know by a certain date. After that, once a week, I sent out little packets of info, maps, sandbuckets, cheap Dollar Store kites, sea shells, etc. If they didn’t come, it didn’t matter to me. I was going to be happy and have fun! They all came and we had a blast. It has continued now at different destinations annually.

I always invite everyone of my siblings to special destinations once or twice a year. Out of seven living, only one or two show up. They others have various reasons and issues for not coming. I don’t care. I still invite them, still love them and still have fun.

You were close to your sister; you miss that. Would she like you to visit her?

Maybe it’s not everything at once.

Well my situation is kind of similar. I had a long comment which I erased because I did not want to take from @Jude with my what sounded like a pity party.
All I can suggest is to try to set something up but don’t be disappointed if some members don’t show. I think most families keep traditions going because of at least one parent and if it is that parent that is gone the idea for the other is no longer fun and then you get comfortable.

As others have said, try and organize a get together. Email each other and forward their replies to the others.

Call your siblings once a week just to chat.

Enlist your father’s partner in helping organize events at your house or his house.

Oh boy, this is tough. Took me a while to think of what to say to somehow be of help and maybe even make you feel better. Not sure if I got it. Feeling like an orphan when you still have family around is awful. Good news is it seems you are up for the challenge and you wish to make your Mom proud as well. The best tips have been given already. Establish and maintain communication, keep other options open. My wish is that whatever happens, you will still feel happy with the thought that your Mom is proud of you right now.

Mohammed must go to the mountain, since the mountain won’t go to Mohammed. You be the one to go. Don’t expect people to come to you. Your sister is disabled, and probably shouldn’t be sitting in a car that long. Your dad doesn’t sound very parental and has a new grown-up life; don’t expect much there. Your brother? Go right to the social director of his household and make plans in advance with your SIL. Be positive and upbeat – “I miss seeing you guys! Let’s get together.” Then invite yourself over, and offer to go get your sister, too.

I miss them all so much. I plan on making more of an effort with my sister. Hopefully, she’ll be staying here for the summer. I’ll get to see her a bunch.

Anyone here want to be a surrogate family member?

Just had a good heart-to-heart with my Pops. That’s a start.

Aww Jude, count me in. Hugs…. I hope your family take up your offers to get together. Enjoy your time with your sister. I think we get out of the habit of being families at times and especially when our own lives get busy. Sometimes we need someone to pull things back and remind us of how important we are to each other. Don’t give up. This is obviously very important to you.

@Jude…Fluther miraculous @ work :)

@Meego That’s right! :)

(((@Jude))) Baby Sister. xoxoxo

You all are wonderful people. Thank-you for listening.

If we’re going to do the surrogate thing, I call sperm donor.