What perks would you like at your job?

This woman said she knew she needed help when she was “Jilling off” 47 times a day.
So, 45 was okay? What about 40?
I work for the phone company, so I get something like 10% off my phone bill.
Free DSL would be nice.

Health, Dental, and vision would be nice. w00t United States

what @johnpowell said, also a monkey butler

A mini refrigerator with a lock on it.
An ergonomic chair or a complimentary acupuncture session once a week.

Health insurance, for sure. Also, a new t-shirt, and that damn guacamole they keep promising.

PS: That is hilarious. And strange.

A big Christmas bonus, also, an Easter bonus, a Halloween Bonus, a Talk Like a Pirate Day bonus, a Friday bonus, and all the Jell-o I can eat.

Health insurance would be okay. Urrm, a car would save the wear and tear on mine. On some days a nice man to come in and massage my shoulders would go down a treat. Other than that .. nah, I’m pretty fine I think. I don’t want to “jill off” at work.

A stapler. And that Brazilian lady in the same cubicle as me. As long as she still has most of her fingers.

No what I really want is a Starbucks gift certificate every other day. Hot mocha Java, here I come sweetie!

I’d just like to be treated like a human. Maybe a thank you once in a while from the upper management would be cool.

An intern kind of like Monica Lewinsky.

@augustlan Steer clear of the guacamole…I’ve heard someone put strychnine in it :)

Frankly, I’d be happy having my weekends and holidays off so I can spend time with my husband (I work retail). 100% company paid health/dental insurance would be nice too.

As for the original article, I had read that it was a hoax but am unable to locate where I read that online.

A company paid gas card would be nice. As it stands, once you take out taxes and such, it takes me over an hour just to earn enough net income to pay for the gas I use going to and from work for the day.

Good coffee, that wouldn’t be too hard to do.

A masseuse on the back of my jet ski would be nice.

You have a jet ski at work…. wow…. I only have a chair with arms….

Since my job is to be a “Stay Home Mom”, which means I’m a personal chef, a chauffeur, a tutor, a maid, a companion, a laundress, a complaints department, and several other things, with no days off, I’d just like to get paid for my job.

Health and Dental would be real nice. It would also be nice if that one of us 3 employees could actually show up to work…on time. A lunch break would be awesome.

Jeez… I work full time and I’m just now starting to think this job kinda sucks!

@WillWorkForChocolate: How about you ask for a once every 3 months person to come clean your floors, windows, showers/tubs? Or ask for every 3 months someone comes in to steam tile, clean carpets and clean sofas/chairs?