Is feigned disinterest a natural part of courtship?

The games birds play! lol

Yes, every species mating rituals are a bit different, and while I can’t say I am completely familiar with doves, it is possible she is just ‘on the fence’, so to speak, in her decision to partner up with this guy.
He may be a young, inexperienced male and not as ‘skilled’ in his courtship as she might prefer.

I was just watching 4 wild turkeys toms pursuing one female in my pasture, she was RUNNING as fast as she could! Turkey gang rapes. lol

I think so. In people we want the other person to know we’re looking so they pay closer attention. Then we want them to question if we really looked so they show us they’re looking back. From there we want to feign interest so the other will make a daring move to declare genuine interest, to which we question til it begs interest that can’t be denied or second guessed. We all say how much we want words because we’re civilized but actions are important too, not only to back up the words but to soothe the ancient hardwiring that tells us if someone’s the right stuff or not

Notice how birds and other animals don’t spend too much time on it though before they get the green light or not.

GA @Neizvestnaya
I wonder if it’s the source of the “nice guys finish last” cliche and the appeal of the “bad boy”?
Myself, I don’t care much for being with somebody who agrees with everything I say or who professes love too soon. Challenge seems to put the zing into a relationship.

@Blueroses: I’ve always seen the challenge stage as where more info gets exchanged in order to move you past initial physical attraction so you can weigh the other qualities.

In the modern day I think this is where some people get hung up- they know there was an initial attraction, they know there was a chase but then…? Once you get close enough to exchange and decipher scent, health, age, social standing, skills, etc. then people continue forward or drop back and pursue others.

Hey @Blueroses, so what’d you do last night? Wait, hold that thought, I’ll be right back. Or not, whatever.

@bob_ I was waiting for you to come back after you pulled my hair and ran away…

@Blueroses You were totally asking for it.

I was once involved in a rivalry over a girl. She had a boyfriend, but she said she didn’t get what she needed from him. Somehow, he found out about me, and he told her she had to come back, “or else.” It wasn’t clear what the or else was, but it seemed pretty serious.

She felt like she had to go back to him, although she told me she didn’t really want to. I didn’t try to fight at all. I figured she would choose what she wanted and if it wasn’t me, then that was too bad. Maybe things weren’t as clear as I thought they were.

It was pretty painful after that. Eventually I learned not to think about it and move on, but I still wonder if there was something I could have done. Maybe fought harder. But he had a lot of advantages, so there wasn’t much I could offer except my charming company, which, by that time, was anything but charming.

I still wonder what would have happened. I really liked that girl. I would have done anything. Except there was nothing that would have made a difference. There’s been an innate kind of sadness riding on me ever since then. I don’t think it’ll ever go away.

@wundayatta

Well…ya coulda gone into the old broken wing routine to lure her away from the boyfriends nest. haha

Yes! @Coloma!!! I was wondering if birds do that. “I’m so helpless, come and save me.” That can’t be unique to humans, it’s such a draw… blech.

@Blueroses

It’s a ruse to lead predators away from the nest. ‘Take me, I am vulnerable’, and then, when the bird has sufficiently lured the potential predator away from the nesting site, poof…she flies away home again. :-)

@wundayatta: @Coloma has something there. Many a girl has run to the side of the more badly beaten/broken rival.

Where were you ladies when I needed you?

did you even look under the orange tree? I was there.

I thought about stopping by, but… eh…

@Blueroses, had I stopped under your orange tree, what kind of reception would I have had? What advice would you have given me?

I’d say…. stop looking for the fruit and begin to appreciate the stages. For all of sitting under the tree, do you not get that it’s the transition of the tree that is the message? From seeming death, to flower, to fruition, to loss, to hibernation…
always the lesson, no?

I don’t like the loss part. Especially when it was the best orange crop ever. Bad analogy, anyway.