True or False: No conversation from a person I have never seen or met would make me fall in love with them?

Isn’t that the basis on which most people fall in love? What they say to each other? What they say physically as well as orally?

Is there something I’m not getting here? Do you mean one conversation of limited duration? Do you mean a conversation online, but not in person? I don’t get it.

You mean falling for bullshit? Tried that once;)
It wasn’t love.
As for sincere,heartfelt words? My husband knows what to say and he means it.
There is a huge difference between someone reciting what they think are the right words and someone who means what they say.

@wundayatta Online, in a letter, a book by a writer, there are lots of situations where one person could convey lots of things to another person without them ever having met each other.

@lucillelucillelucille yes, that is a good line of thought. A person who is corresponding with you can tell you anything. Can guess at your sentiments like a psychic reading a room.

So, if you have never met, or seen each other, how could you fall in love?

Completely false.

@Ltryptophan -Yep,exactly.I have always liked to look a man in the eye as he reads from a Hallmark card.LOL
It takes alot more than words to make me fall in love.Actions mean more to me.

Let’s say a poem… by a deceased author.

They write a poem. You read it. You find out, that they wrote the poem for you, maybe after reading a poem of yours.

They never met you, but they loved you truly at the words of your poem, and penned a poem in that regard.

You read that poem and despite their being dead, acknowledge you most certainly romantically love the author.

I believe Cyrano de Bergerac treats on this.

False, words don’t mean shit. Unless you happen to be shallow & of a limited intellect of course, but that’s just one guy talking.

It’s pretty damn easy to fall in love over the internet without ever having laid eyes on the person.

When I say “seen”. I mean non-descript even. The person could be disfigured. Not a picture, not a shadow. Impressionistic painting of them at 100 yards would be ok.

Words can be very powerful things. I’ve been reluctant to see photos of people whose words I enjoy (or voice) because I don’t want to upset my mental image of them. I remember being underwhelmed seeing a picture of Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits because I fell in love with his voice and lyrics. The picture was all wrong.

@Blueroses tangent: I have the same problem but with lyrics themselves. when I can’t understand them, or hear what I want, I like it better than when I find out the actual words, there is something comforting in not knowing or hearing it just the way I hear it that I like better than the clarification if you catch me

False I think. It took a mere three weeks of communicating via IM and e-mail to fall in love with my SO, and I think he felt the same way. While we eventually started web-camming, it took six months before meeting in person. Each new step forward only confirmed what we initially felt and helped build on the foundation.

I did see a few photos of him during those first three weeks, but they were old and (sorry Sweetheart) were a bit geeky looking. He had no clue what I looked like until I sent a photo after the first three weeks of communication.

No. I can be charmed, but fall in love? No. I need to interact in person with the man.

I’m not sure I could fall in love with someone without having spent time with them in person. I’m not proclaiming that seeing what they look like is the only factor that seals the deal, but actions do speak louder than words and you can get a much clearer and better picture of what a person is like when you actually physically spend time with them. Only knowing someone via the internet slaps on a list of limitations and mystery that would really hold me back from falling for someone, I think. I know I can really, really like someone and love them as a person/friend and even be attracted to them, but actually fall in love with them? I don’t think so.

For me, I would say the answer is true almost 100% of the time. In fact so close to 100% that it approaches impossibility.

For others in different circumstances I think this could be much less a problem than it is made out to be here. In fact I don’t think it would take more than a few star wars discussions to seal the deal.

I mean to get to know someone how are you not going to have a fairly informed picture of them? Or what is there to love?

Shall you fall in love with them for their abstract views alone? Is that what love can be boiled down to? Love must find its base in the flesh mustn’t it, if to flesh it will then be retributed?

I once met someone via computer. This was back in the days of bbses. She and I corresponded for about one to two months before we were convinced we were in love with each other. We were nervous about it, though. Had no idea whether it would survive out actual meeting. We both very much wanted to to move on, and when we did meet, it was better than we could have imagined.

Unfortunately, other events intervened, and we couldn’t be with each other. Still think about her a lot, though.

I like the idea of falling in love with abstract views alone with no distraction of the physical. Have to admit that I have done and find it to be as valid a love as any in real life – perhaps even moreso. There’s something deeply spiritual about a “perfect” meeting of the minds.

True. I could become attracted though.

Looks are easy to be attracted to a person but I have never fallen in love on looks alone. A good combination of intelligence sprinkled with wit backed by self confidence devoid of phony lies, cheap shots and self effacing rhetoric is a recipe for love.

A self-confident woman who speaks honestly will win my heart every time!

I have to guess false, although I’ve never managed to fall in love and am not sure what it would take to cause me to do so.

If this statement were true, that would imply that appearance is vital to me in seeking my love interests, and it’s not.

It wasn’t even a conversation, I was just fascinated by the words this person wrote. They weren’t directed at me but they charmed me. Through words alone I feel I know her very well though we have never met and never will meet.

@Ltryptophan So if looks are so vital for falling in love, then how do blind people fall in love?

True… Because you fall in love with their words that doesn’t mean you are in love with them.

Because through online dating it is easier for someone to tell you what they know you want to hear rather than what they really believe. Because usually in online dating you have to say upfront what your beliefs etc are on your profile.

There are many factors that go into you falling in love with a person.

You can only know these by interacting with the person face to face on a regular basis.

sometimes someone might have certain habits or mannerisms that can annoy the hell out of you. that would make you change your mind in an instant about them.

internet dating can be useful in terms of meeting people but you must transfer the relationship to real everyday life ASAP to really understand and get to know the person thoroughly.

False. I am entirely too cynical.

@MyNewtBoobs Blind people are not as blind as you would have them be!

@Ltryptophan In this context, I have absolutely no idea what that means.

@MyNewtBoobs I assert that blind people can distinguish whether they find a person physically attractive. Any seconds?

@suzanna28 There are many other places on the internet besides dating sites where one can get to know others very well before one decides to risk a personal meeting. Gaming sites tend to have this kind of thing happen. So do social networking sites that aren’t devoted to dating.

I think dating sites are pretty much as bad as dating, itself, is. It’s the wrong way to meet people. It’s artificial and stressful. It’s not a good way for people to show themselves and, as you point out, people lie.

It is much less likely for people to lie on the other sites I mentioned, You don’t lie to impress someone if you aren’t there to look for someone. Like fluther. People present themselves, I believe, pretty much as they are. Even trolls. It’s clear they are trollish. There’s no real attempt to hide it.

I think you can learn an awful lot about someone on the internet if you go about it the right way. The key is to avoid places whose only point is matching people. In a more relaxed setting that is devoted to something completely other than dating, you can learn an awful lot about a person. I’m sure that at fluther, there are probably two or three people for every jelly that that jelly is tight enough with that they would quickly get more intimate if they were not already taken.

I mean to get to know someone how are you not going to have a fairly informed picture of them? Or what is there to love?

Shall you fall in love with them for their abstract views alone? Is that what love can be boiled down to? Love must find its base in the flesh mustn’t it, if to flesh it will then be retributed?

It is easy to doubt the words of another person without having met them. It is just as easy to accept the words of those looking you face-to-face. Actions speak louder than words, but it doesn’t mean that the initial words were false. In my case, I trusted my instincts, and yet we both held out for verification by giving the budding relationship time.

A US co-worker met their Russian spouse through a pen-pal e-mail exchange program. Both of their responses needed to go through an interpretor before they could understand what the other was saying. About 10 years ago, the US partner traveled to Russia and met the pen-pal for the first time. A proposal occurred and was accepted, and it included the family ‘blessings’ on both sides.

10 years later, they are still happily married and residing in the US. The Russian spouse home-schools their two young children, and the family goes to Russia every year or so to visit family members.

This may be more detail than you wanted, but it feels like it pertains to the question asked. In both my case and the co-worker’s, all four of us essentially based it upon instinct of the written word.

@Ltryptophan Ok, maybe I’m missing something, but how is having a clear picture of what they look like any more important to falling in love with someone than one sample of writing? If you’re looking to get a clear picture of someone, that’s going to take time and effort, and both parties are going to have to try to forge a relationship.

@wundayatta I think dating sites are pretty much as bad as dating, itself, is. It’s the wrong way to meet people. It’s artificial and stressful. It’s not a good way for people to show themselves and, as you point out, people lie. Ok, to your mind, exactly what is this good/proper way to meet people that isn’t artificial, stressful, and people are honest?

@wundayatta You don’t lie to impress someone if you aren’t there to look for someone. Like Fluther. People present themselves, I believe, pretty much as they are. Even trolls. It’s clear they are trollish. There’s no real attempt to hide it.

You are very mistaken if you think everyone presents themselves as who they really are on sites like Fluther, even if they have been a member over a long period of time. I’ve known people to join internet communities and lie about who they are just for their own jollies (these are the very clever trolls). It may not be the majority, but it does happen, trust me.

To answer the question, I don’t think I could say it any better than @Vunessuh.

@MyNewtBoobs I think you should meet people doing stuff you like to do. I shouldn’t have said should. My preference is to meet people doing things I like to do. I think I have a better chance of seeing a real person that way. I don’t mean to look down on dating sites or dating, itself. Or maybe I do. I never had any success that way. I don’t do dating. It should be obvious from the way I write that I would be an utter failure at dating.

But I think it is artificial and stressed and makes it too likely that people will pretend to be someone they are not. So I prefer situations where people aren’t on display. They just do what they do, and sometimes you find yourself liking them. And they find themselves liking you.

@wundayatta I’ve found that if people are the type to present themselves falsely (not just best foot forward, waiting till the second date to mention how you just got fired and that kind of thing, but really falsely and actively lying about who they are), they’ll do that regardless of if it’s a bar, a club, a book club, an online dating site, a dance class, whatever – especially since, if you meet some cutie in a dance class or other “what you enjoy doing” place, you can easily lie about your age and religion and level of interest in The Big Lebowski in order to impress them, you just didn’t come expecting to lie about it. And said cutie doesn’t really know that you enjoy dancing, because you could be taking it for a myriad of reasons.But people who present themselves rather accurately are going to do so no matter where they go.

@MyNewtBoobs l’ve found a higher percentage of people who are genuine and don’t exaggerate things about themselves in the situations where people do what they enjoy. But we’re just two people. Maybe I’m just lucky and you’re unlucky.

False. I’ve fallen in love with a few poets before ever laying eyes (or hands) on them.

Well, in regards to many people’s opinions on here. Words do have power. Tremendous power. Words have toppled governments. Words have both shattered and mended hearts.

I totally believe that it is possible to fall in love without ever meeting the person.