I wonder if anybody's heard any good misplaced modifiers while lounging in my living room?

foreshadowing a sexual joke

Makes two of us.

I heard a good one while I was “editing” bob’s dangling participle in your bedroom…

There ya go guys, lol. :P

I saw a family of ducks driving my car to the store.

Those ducklings had better have been strapped in!

I saw a great white shark on my TV.
Now my set is all wet with saltwater, and no matter what channel I choose, the shark’s still there.

I love that @Brian1946!

Covered in chocolate that girl will eat anything.
It’s true. Just dip her in chocolate and dare her

any resemblance to actual people is purely coincidental

tttthhhhbbbbbpppttt!

Wanted: Responsible babysitter needed for child that doesn’t cuss or smoke.

That’s the shit @WillWorkForChocolate!

The woman walked the dog in purple suede cowboy boots.

I can see Russia from my house, the home of our enemies.

There’s a dog on my sofa that is infested with fleas.

I watched Harry Potter naked last night.

Here’s one from the media: “Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg Only Eating Animals, He Kills Himself!”

Apparently Facebook’s founder has committed suicide after indulging in an all-meat diet.
Poor Mark: if only he realized that the diet itself would have eventually satisfied his self-destructive impulses. ;-)

Pssst: in a fit of editorial whimsy, I put the comma after “animals”. ;-)