How do you deal with energy draining vampires?

I just ignore those suckers!

I knew an energy vampire (I kid thee not, there actually is such a thing, but most scoff and snicker at the idea). She was quite a bit more subtle than what you describe and was not was not unpleasant to be around. She would, however, gather chi from those around her but I never knew her to do so when it would be detrimental and tended to use the excess energy in ways she believed to be beneficial. (In short, she was a “good witch”)

Anyway, as for the situation you described, your only defense is to choose to not be a part of it.

I agree with @YoBob, remove yourself from the flow is the easiest way to prevent it. I have lived with quite a few different types of people like this and only one would return the flow. I’ve found that limiting interaction and somewhat just ignoring the person can often stop the flow. Often times these people would enthrall me into creating enough energy that they wouldn’t want to continue to leech. This is when I start calling them out on their bullshit, lol. Just get away if you can & don’t be drawn in.

Yes!! And you fire them!! ;)

I feel so sorry for you, @espearite, to have grown up in that environment. In my experience, the only solution is to cut the person off. You can try saying, “I am not going to listen if you talk about X,” but you will probably have to keep on saying it. It is easier to cut off contact.

“Between The Optimist and The Pessimist there is a droll. The Optimist sees the donut; The Pessimist sees the hole.” Another phrase more commonly known is “Is the glass half empty or half full?”

How people process and react to information is different, and in a way, it’s quite fascinating. We also have people who struggle with relating to others that are different in the terms of introversion/extroversion, as well as other other categories.

You have really hit the nail on the head by saying, “I have learned that people like this will always continue to view life in general as grim.” It comes down to that this is the way that they are wired. It doesn’t make it right or wrong…it just is. In my experience, you cannot change another’s actions, much less their thought process. The best that can be done is set an example that will inspire, but this doesn’t mean that it will motivate them to change. Some personality traits are just so ingrained that a person can learn to adapt, but it won’t change the innate thought process.

So, back to your question on how to deal with it. It really comes down to learning that other people are different, and focusing on accepting how they respond without taking it to heart. If you really want to learn how to deal with this, I suggest that you read The Platinum Rule. Here is one quote from this site: The goal of The Platinum Rule is personal chemistry and productive relationships. You do not have to change your personality. You do not have to roll over and submit to others. You simply have to understand what drives people and recognize your options for dealing with them. I read the author’s book and found it to be one of those “ah-ha” moments in understanding why treating others as I want to be treated often fails.

Another recommendation is to watch this clip from public speaker Amanda Gore. Interestingly, she uses some of the same words as you do in your initial question. I’ve heard her speak several times, and when it comes to this part, she refers to how to deal with “Energy Suckers” a.k.a. “Psychic Vampires”. Note: This isn’t the best example of her presentation, IMO, as it becomes a plug for the props that she uses and now sells, but the message is still valid.

I hope this helps. Just know that my heart goes out to you and to the others that feel the same way. It is a painful position to be in, especially if it involves a loved one.

You can interlock your thumb and middle fingers on each hand. I know it’s hard to picture but I’m linking you to an article that helps out a lot.

Energy Vampires. The technique works, I used it before without the energy vamp knowing I was doing it and they mentioned feeling cut off and drained, as well as cold.

I avoid them.

I left my mother-in-law on the East coast when I moved to Seattle :D

Seriously though, I am stubborn and thick-skinned enough that such people generally don’t get to me too much, and those that start to, I can somehow evade/avoid without even realizing that I am doing so.

@marinelife: Thank you. Saying it that way may be a good way to avoid the touchy subject with this person. I have been giving her advice on it for as long as I can remember but it seems like it never sticks. She is still in the same spot. I just feel like she is either afraid of success or failure, and is really actually self-sabotaging herself. I draw the line here finally because I have a life of my own to live. I can longer think for her or try to change her. Thank you again for the great advice.

@Pied_Pfeffer: You make a lot of good points. Thank you for sharing that website and the video. :) Yes, I will definitely check out the book. The video is great. :)

@Ajulusikael: Yeap, going to give that exercise a try.

Thank you all for your insights. I feel like I need to take this one down in the books:
I deserve to be happy, but sometimes I am going to have to fight for it.