What does a single man in his late thirties need in his new apartment?
I am a recently divorced introverted man with kids. I am happy reading books on the floor. What do I need to keep the kids happy on rainy days and to be presentable to occasional female guests? Assume I have a lot of money but I personally just need Shakespeare or a trashy novel.
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Are we talking about things like towels and toasters and a plunger, or specifically about books?
Every thing you had when you were married. Living room furniture, bedroom furniture, Xbox or whatever games your kids play with. What are your kids interested in? Outside games such as a basketball hoop, or bikes.
You need a big squishy sofa that can double as a bed if a kid (or you needs to crash out) and loveseat. Get washable slipcovers for both.
A low and plain coffee table that’s easy to spray & wipe clean, kudus to the ones that have drawers built in for storing DVDs and game controllers/remotes.
A corner desk with room enough for a PC and laptop to be worked on.
A great big TV (my fiancee’s suggestion)
A complete stayover kit under a spare bathroom sink for when the kids come. Have basics like toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant, sunscreen, babywipes, bandages, shampoo, conditioner, scrubby sponges, pump soap.
A collection of board cames or decks of cards, a wall mounted dart board, laptop side table.
Buy yourself two sets of nice sheets, two nice quality blankets and a comforter or duvet cover. Same with towels, get the big bath sheets and at least 4 of them. Keep babywipes, lotion, toothbrush, toothpaste and some nice bar soaps under your sink for guests.
IKEA is one of the least expensive places to shop for household goods that are bachelor and bachelorette friendly. Check out the website, create an account and start adding things you like and then go back and edit until you form an idea in your mind of what your new digs should look like.
I went through this a few years ago when i got custody of my kids. They don’t need “everything”, but they do need a space to call their own. And a good big comfy couch to hang out with you, in front of the TV.
It needs to be a home, not a bachelor place. Let them be with you when you get furniture for them and for your living room. Make them part of that shopping so they know they are not separated from you and you are not leaving them, just living in a different place from their mom.
You want to keep the kids lives as consistent as possible, and make sure you give them spaces that are “theirs” where you are. Hopefully, you know what makes your kids feel safe and comfortable. Board games. Their comfy beds. Their cups and toothbrushes. Their dresser drawers. That sort of thing.
As long as they have peace of mind and are assured that you have made places for them in your house (and sub-textually in your life, dig?) then you can do whatever else you like for yourself. Don’t go nuts buying furniture for yourself if that’s not you, as long as you have furniture to eat on, sit on and sleep (ahem) on.
Thank you all for the answers so far. I am absolutely not asking for my needs, again, I like books and old movies and I have purchased both.
Make sure that you get your share of the photos of the children and put them out.
Pictures for the walls, of your kids for the book cases, dishes, coffee maker, microwave, glassware. If you are really introverted and bookish, you may want to consider getting a weekly cleaning service so the place is clean without you having to remember to do it yourself.
I 2nd a cleaning person, especially for right after the kids have visited. If they live with you fulltime then have someone come every two weeks to do basics like scrub the floors, tubs/showers/sinks/toilets, wipe out the refrigerator and de gunk windows. You’ll be busy enough with dishes and laundry.
How old are the kids? What are they into? Mine are all crafty/reading/video game/computer type of kids, so here’s what I needed when I got divorced. A couch and an easy chair. A table and chairs to eat, play games or cards, and do arts and crafts on. A computer desk and computer. Beds for everyone. Art supplies and a deck of cards. Two TVs. A DVD player. A gaming system. Someplace to keep books, movies, music, and games (bookcases). Enough dishes to make it through a weekend of meals without washing them (I’m bad about that.) Plenty of towels, toothbrushes for everyone, their favorite foods and drinks (within reason, of course). Pictures.
I got all of the furniture except the couch and easy chair from Ikea, and furnished just about my whole apartment for $1500.00.
Thank you all for the input. I have some shopping to do.
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