Do you think this is a fair situation?

I think she is being a bitch. But that doesn’t help solve the problem. It sounds like she is beyond any rational argument so you are fucked unless you want to hide the relationship.

@johnpowell Thank you for the bluntness.

No, it’s not fair. But who said life was fair?

How old are you two?

@MyNewtBoobs Touche. I’m just really butt hurt ‘cause I love the fella.

@projectilevomit I get that, I really do.

@MyNewtBoobs Thank you for understanding, not bashing on me. I really feel for the kid. I mean, the mother took everything, his xbox, freedom and etc. because of a photograph of me? I think I could be way worse, don’t you?

I miss him, so much.

Fair .. well depends on how you wanna take a look at the picture.
For a start even if he does not smoke / drink / F**k with everyone around etc where’es the guarantee that your friends lifestyle [ your circle of friends is not the perfect circle to be around ].
Then there’s the ” he can make his own choices ” [ with the things in common gather up the same people ] but when he lived in different situattions he’s gonna enjoy this new freedom.

You say you love him .. how about go meet his family and see how he grew up .. after the meeting ask him to stay away from you for a while [ 7–8 months or above ] then see if he still comes and looks for you [ he can do this because he wants his freedom or he may love you back .. this is just something that time will tell ]

Oh and if you think this is bashing on you think of it of another way of looking on things.

Good luck.

@Hibernate I’m keeping an open mind, Thank you for your words.

@projectilevomit How old are you guys – is he a minor, or can he decide to move out and date who he likes?

@MyNewtBoobs He’s young. Sixteen. Very mature but young.

@MyNewtBoobs I’m seventeen, by the way.

@projectilevomit So, not much you can do. That really sucks. If it makes you feel any better, things do get much better when you turn 18. And if that sounds like a line, and doesn’t at all help you right now (because that’s what I always think), then… go punch a pillow and watch cartoons? People suck, life sucks. Seriously, I’m thinking of making this my personal motto. I might get some kind of coat of arms to go with it…

You mean when HE turns 18 ^^

@MyNewtBoobs No, no I dig it. Everyone has an opinon, I can’t change that. People do suck. I’ve never had a parent dislike me so I’m not sure how to go about this. I’m so lost. I just hope he’s not going to get sent away. :/

@Hibernate True, very true.

@Hibernate In general, I mean when you, whoever you are, turn 18. For this particular scenario, yes, him too – but the suckiness will be offset for a year by @projectilevomit being old enough to do things like smoke cigarettes legally (not a suggestion!! just a point…) and have her own place in which she can eat chips in bed and do the dishes when and if she wants to and crap like that.

@MyNewtBoobs God, I love you. Can you take me in?

If he will be sent away that will turn him against his parents .. which gonna SUCK REALLY HARD for them [ they will loose him ].

Parent who judge others just by an opinion / picture / thought are retards .. One needs to know another before turning against them.

@projectilevomit It sounds like she’s an irrational bitch, so there’s no real way to sit down and talk with her and present a logical, rational argument as to why you’re not a minion of Satan trying to steal her son’s soul or whatever. Sometimes, when you get to know an irrational person really well, you can learn their own special logic and work with them a bit, but it often takes years. So in this case, not much you can do.

Yes. Come live with me. My house is awesome.

@MyNewtBoobs I don’t want to point the finger but she’s being rude, just rude. She doesn’t have to do that to him. What really gets me is that she’s putting him down, calling him a failure and I’m no good. She hasn’t met me, she doesn’t know my life.
@Hibernate He’s already against them, he’s so full of anger and he’s so jaded. I feel so useless sometimes.

@projectilevomit She doesn’t sound like a particularly good mother. She sounds like a really bad mother.

@MyNewtBoobs I can’t really formulate a GOOD opinion of her parenting ways just yet. If I were her, I’d be a little upset but she’s going overboard. He’s a good kid, a really good kid. I think she’s being like this because his older brother isn’t too well off.

Nobody really knows what’s in her mind.

dear zen you need to remember that not all of us are born in UK or US .. mos of us learned english by ourselves [ I wanna see you talking / speaking a different language , self teaching is not the best idea but for some there’s no other way ].

Point our mistakes in private to help us improve ^^

my 2 cents.

@zen You seriously rock, I mean that. I will have to change it, but Thank you. I know the way I write is a little poor. Its just the way I like to write.

@Hibernate Do you know Zen lives in Israel?

@Hibernate Thank you for sticking up for me but I don’t find it offensive. He’s right, I’m young.

@MyNewtBoobs What does it matter where I live dear? And I like her attitude and am glad she is not offended. @projectilevomit – if your few hundred lurve is important to you – you could PM Auggie and ask her to change it. Or just scrap it and join again. I’ve done it about a dozen times now. Within a few minutes you quickly “follow” your friends again and you’re set.

:-)

Edit: @Hibernate – if her English was simply poor, or foreign, I wouldn’t have even bothered, Many here can testify that over the years I have PMed people to let them know of a typo or grammatical error. I don’t want to make fun of someone’s English.

In this case, I chose to point it out here for two reasons: one – she is an English speaker – to the point where she is usuing colloquialisms the “correct” way, i.e., Talkin’ – etcetera. She is not a foreign speaker of the English language – and again, we’re not speaking – we’re writing. When she wrote her age as 17 – and I have a couple of kids that age – and teach many others – sometimes they are unaware of the situation – they are used to txtspk – and IM and facebook – and forget that this is Fluther. There are even guidelines about this way of writing. Of course they are lax – as this is the Social section. She might even have gotten herself modded in General.

The second reason why I wrote this is because I care. I want others to read what I wrote. Isn’t that why anyone here writes anything? We could all just PM everything – or simply chat.

Edit: @newtie – I know. Thanks dear – but not really necessary you see. People live all over the world and have their own degree and level of, if not care for, the English language. But thanks babes.

@zen No, read it again – I was saying that to @Hibernate, who had just asked you if you knew how hard it was for non-native English speakers to have proper grammar and style, and seemingly dared you to try it.

[mod says] Though this is in Social, let’s try to get back on topic. Thanks!

You have one gambit to play win over the mom, win over the mom, win over the mom, win over the mom, win over the mom, win over the mom, win over the mom, win over the mom, win over the mom, then win over the mom once more

He’s 16. In NY State, and others, if you have sex with him you can be charged with Statutory Rape – even if it is consensual. The parents can initiate the action by a simple call to the police. He has no say in the matter as he is obviously below the age of consent. If you read the statute “sex” is very broad and can include almost anything, even touching or exposing bits. Believe me you do not want a Statutory Rape charge posted on your FB wall.
His parents want him to do do well in school and not have too many distractions.
Get rid of ‘Bad Behavior’ photos on FB and avoid him until he’s legal. You’ll both benefit.

Before we start saying this woman is a terrible mom and that @projectilevomit is being seriously wronged by her behavior, are we getting both sides of the story?

The reality here is that he is a minor and this woman is his mother. If she wants to take the ipod you gave him and tell him not to hang out with you she is totally within her rights as a parent. Fair? Life isn’t fair, deal with it. If you really want this woman to respect you to the point where she willingly lets her son spend time with you, you have to earn that respect. Take the inappropriate photos off your facebook page, introduce yourself to her, don’t sneak around with her son, and behave as the responsible teenager you claim to be.

As a parent, I can understand where she’s coming from; she finds you a potentially alarming influence, and is throwing up the deflector shields with really assessing what you’re like.

I would look upon this as a bit of a learning experience. Regardless of what you’re age is, you are known by the image you project and the company you keep. With most things, people are going assess what you’re like in the first three seconds they meet you. The same goes with your social media image. The impression you create on FB can stay with you.

So far, you’ve got two strikes against you with her. The first is that she thinks you smoke, weed or cigarettes. The second is that you deliberately encouraged her son to defy her by giving him the iPod to use to communicate with you. The first could be overcome by explaining the photo, but the second is going to take a sincere apology. Sometimes, recognizing that you’ve made a mistake and admitting it can go a long way with some parents.

Just read what @SuperMouse posted. ^^ Second that.

@projectilevomit I think she’s being incredibly unfair. She sounds quite controlling from what you’ve described. Having said that, @SuperMouse has a good point. You could try to earn her respect by getting to know her and showing her that you’re a responsible, mature girl. Good luck ;-)

It is a long shot, but you could ask your parents to contact his mother and suggest a get together.

Have your parents advocate for you to his mother.

Perhaps when she gets to know you, she will change her mind. (But don’t count on it, because her actions so far don’t seem very reasonable.)

Still, if you love the guy, it is worth a shot. Otherwise, you will have to wait until he is out of the house.

No, it’s not fair but she’s calling the shots until he is able to tell her off which he doesn’t seem to be able to do. Mothers always think you’re not right for their sons unless you’re just like them but why would you be, you know? I don’t like the she sneaked around to find you on FB and I wouldn’t pull the photos just to appease her, wtf – it’s none of her business. Eventually, he’ll grow up – for now, maybe you find someone who doesn’t live under the control of his mother. Warning: that doesn’t necessarily end at 18.

Just for the heck of it, lets turn this whole situation around.

You are 16 and he is 17. How would your parents react?

@Simone_De_Beauvoir looking at a 16 year old son’s Facebook page and monitoring his friends isn’t sneaking, it is parenting. If @projectilevomit is dating her under age son the photos she puts up on her Facebook page are absolutely her business. It is also absolutely reasonable for the mother to, partially at least, form an opinion based on the way @projectilevomit puts herself out there on Facebook. Like it or not, posting a picture of your 17 year-old self smoking a cigarette projects an image that might not be considered all that wholesome. Also, it is a pretty huge generalization to say “mothers always” do anything.

When I was 17, I was dating a 16 year old guy from a different city. Back then, we didn’t have ‘Facebook’ or the internet for that matter, but what would have been on my FB page would have been pictures of me in National Honor Society, Marching Band, Concert Band, Editor of my school publication, Mentoring and Tutoring program… well.. you get the idea…. and his mother STILL hated me. We absolutely were not having sex and I came right out and had a big talk to her about that fact but she was sure I was going to ruin him. We were crazy about each other and tried to spend as much time together as we could though, so I guess that would scare any parent.

So, from someone who’s gone through the ‘protective mother’ thing, just leave it for a while. Don’t push. It can backfire. Causing friction between a son and his mother isn’t a good thing, especially at this age. He’ll stretch the apron strings eventually and then, hopefully, cut them, but he’s just 16. You need to show a little respect for the mom. Give them space.

@SuperMouse She wasn’t monitoring his friends. She was looking especially to check up on who he’s dating. I don’t yet have teenagers but we’ll see if I’ll be capable at handling it differently. And there’s that much beloved phrase again ‘like it or not’ – fuck that – to me the people who ‘seem wholesome’ are generally the worst criminals and drug addicts. As for the generalization, yeah, I’ll give that to you. Should have said ‘most mothers’. Frankly, when kids are 16 and 17, that’s not a big age gap to me, whatsoever and we don’t know the entire story here so let me not say anymore. I just urge you all to remember how you were at 17 – I guarantee it wasn’t wholesome.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir a “fuck that” attitude about what @projectilevomit puts out there for this woman to base her opinion upon isn’t going to go very far toward earning the mother’s respect.

IMO, as the mother of adolescents, with them being 16 and 17, it isn’t about the age difference. It is about the fact that Dude is 16 and knowing who the boy is hanging out with is still part of a mother’s job. Excuse me if I am a bit dubious about the 17 year-old OP’s statement about what the mother was doing on her son’s Facebook. She is after all 17 and as you so deftly pointed out 17 year-old’s are not very wholesome and may be prone to skewing the facts to serve their agenda.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I agree with much of what you say. But I had to laugh at this, “I just urge you all to remember how you were at 17 – I guarantee it wasn’t wholesome.” because I was wholesome at 17.

I have a 16 year old son who has made dubious choices in girlfriends. What I know is if I had tried to stop him from having a relationship with one of them then all that would do is cause problems between me and him and as I am his primary source of support I want him to come to me when all the pieces fall apart so I can help him through it.

His last gf was a nightmare (he posted about her here). I let him know that she was bad news for him but I left it up to him on whether or not he should cease the relationship. It took him 6 months but he finally saw enough of her he knew it was time to break it off and he did.

@projectilevomit I know this is going to be hard but you really should back away. See him at school or wherever you usually see him but don’t try to push things any further. This is likely causing a great deal of grief for him. If the mother is that close minded you may want to think about how far you want to pursue this relationship because that fact probably won’t change. I’ve been married to the same man for 17 years and his mother still blames me for every perceived problem with my husband and children. It hasn’t mattered how much she has gotten to know me.

Good luck, things like this really suck (to put it mildly).

@Simone_De_Beauvoir: In addition to what Supermouse wrote, when you say “it’s none of her business” (meaning the mom), yes, it is her business who her underage son dates. If the OP says the mom thought the photo was not of her smoking a cig but of smoking a joint, that makes an even worse impression.

The OP needs to keep in mind that if she is going to post photos of herself that the general public can view, she should be mindful that prospective employers, colleges, etc. can view them and so she might want to be mindful of the impression that the photos will give. If the photos are in any way possibly embarassing, she should up her privacy settings on FB so only friends can see them. The reality of social networking sites is that people are not sneaking around looking at your stuff, if you put it out there, it’s public information.

Thank you, all, for allowing me to be the proud recipient of the Herman Melville award!

The other part of this is that she may treat him as immature because his behavior so far has been irresponsible. You may be a positive influence on him, but if his track record with people is dubious, she’s going to be riding his case for a reason. Parental perspective on maturity and peer perspective on maturity are different.

@SuperMouse Exactly when was the last time you found a parent that both told their kid they were a failure (not had failed, but were a failure) and was a good parent?

I understand all of you and I’m keeping an open mind. I’m not a bad person, I’m a good student and I’ve never had a problem with drinking or smoking, every once in a blue moon I’ll do a little something. I understand that she is the Mother and its her duty as a parent to protect her children but the bottom line is that she is going over board. I’d be upset but, she has to be mature about the whole situation. He knows he’s a good kid. He goes to school, respects his curfew AND goes to bed on time—a sixteen year old doing all of that, still? Whenever we’re together, he always lets her know where he is and when he’ll be home. We are NOT having sex, we don’t smoke or drink and we respect eachother. I’m not nervous about anything because I KNOW I’m not breaking the law. @jca I understand—Thank you. I don’t understand how she actually got into my Facebook, its blocked off, I’m thinking he left his open—he does it a lot on my computer. I’m careful about who I add. I understand your point.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, all. I need is some luck. Hopefully, this will blow over.

@MyNewtBoobs I just took a look through all of my responses and can’t find a single place where I referred to this woman as a “good mother”. I have no idea whether or not she is good at being a mother, I do know parents are allowed to look through their minor children’s facebook pages and should do it as often as they see fit. I did argue against condemning her on the basis of the information provided by the op. I stand by my statement that we may not be getting the entire story here.

@projectilevomit whether she is being fair or not is really beside the point. The fact is he is a minor and she is his mother. It is going to be up to you and him to continue to behave responsibly and show her the two of you can be trusted. She may go on being unreasonable about things or she may not. But at least you will know you behaved responsibly and will have your self-respect.

I would have to side with @SuperMouse more on this issue, too often the butler is handed the keys to the mansion and the Bentley and not asked where he is taking the car or when he will bring it back. Too many parents want to be pariends to their kids than parents. Many to the point they would never even think of entering their child’s room with out their child escorting them in there. I remember that was one of the issues people had with the parents of Eric Harris, and Dylan Klebold, as to why they didn’t know their kids had a small arsenal tucked away in their closets? I say because they wanted to be pariends and give their kids adult respect and have their kids like you. The first job of the parent is not to be liked. Parenting is not a popularity contest. My mom did many, many things that pissed me off but I never stopped loving her even when she ticked me off. After I cooled off many things she said was the correct way to handle it. I guess when I was a kid the parents knew they were the owners of the house and so long as you were there like the government, they had the right to look anywhere for anything if it meant keeping order and safety in the house. When you live in your parent’s house you are a citizen of their society; they are not subjects of yours.

@Hypocrisy_Central My parents were never in my picture, but I understand where you are coming from and I respect that. I respect my elders and I’ve been taught well. Thank you for your time and consideration. Thank you.
I am however a little upset that both of his parents referring to me as a ‘downgrade of his last girlfriend’, though. They are not keeping an open mind. They have never spoke or even met me. I believe they are being biased. I am willing to keep an open mind. I DO understand they are upset, I understand. I am willing to level with them. I respect them, I respect their family, rules and son.

@projectilevomit They have never spoke or even met me. _Win over the mom, win over the mon, win over the mom, win over the mon, win over the mom, win over the mon, win over the mom, and win her over again. Invite her to dinner at a nice place or at least coffee, dress nice, and talk about the positive and important things you have planned so she can see you are not just some hoochie with a cigarette at her lips.

@projectilevomit, in all honesty, if you’ve never spoken to his mom or dad, that means you age getting the information about what they say regarding you and your relationship second hand. It might, just maybe, be a little, itsy-bitsy bit slanted since it is coming from the person who is taking the wrath of the parents. I’m not saying your boyfriend is lying. Not saying that at all. Just saying you are getting his 16-year-old perspective and translation about what involves him as well.

@SuperMouse Yeah. Ok. I didn’t know we were figuring out how to make the boy’s mom like her, didn’t know that’s what the OP cared about. We were simply figuring out if this was a fair situation. You think she’s doing a great job parenting. I do not. End of story.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir assume much? Seriously as I said to @MyNewtBoobs I never said I think this woman is doing a great job of parenting. Unlike you, I do not feel equipped to judge her parenting one way or another. I stated that the mother of a 16 year-old is totally within her rights to check the boy’s Facebook and she is bound to form an opinion on the girl he is seeing based on seeing a photo of her smoking a cigarette. That is the end of the story.

@SuperMouse Again, I don’t think she is within her ‘right’ to assume based on photos even if you think it’s within her right to monitor everything a 16 year old does, which is debatable to me. But I really don’t care that much about this story to keep bickering.

@SuperMouse I disagree about Facebook as I think it’s a clear-cut signal to a child that you neither trust nor respect them, but that’s not why I think she’s a bad mother. I think she’s a bad mother because she told her son that a defining characteristic of him was failure. And I really have no problem making that judgment right now, because I have yet to stumble upon a parent that isn’t a bad parent that makes that kind of statement – it’s just not something good parents do.

@MyNewtBoobs, the only proof you or the original poster have that the mother said this statement is a she said, he said, she said scenerio.

@bkcunningham If the mom had posted that her son’s girlfriend was smoking a cigarette in a facebook photo, would we not all believe her and say that the girlfriend sounds like a bad dating match? I have seen no evidence that Fluther generally requires proof beyond a reasonable doubt when making judgments, especially when judging that the parents are in the right and the kids are in the wrong. I’m choosing to trust the OP to not be lying, because believing them without undeniable proof is a key part of trust.

I’m not saying she is lying. She my above post to her. You know the old saying: There are three sides to every story. Your side, my side and the truth.

In all the above the “it’s not her mom’s place to check who are the dates/friends ” well .. I wanna see you doing the same for your kids. A parent will always look out for a kid.

@Hibernate I don’t think anyone said that. But there are ways for a parent to ascertain that their child is safe and in good company without snooping.

The idea came reading between the lines.

Anyway our @projectilevomit will make the best of this situation and turn it around since she knows what’s what. I believe she only wanted to see some people reactions but she figured out already what to do [ but this is just me ]

@MyNewtBoobs if this fellow is sneaking around with this girl his mother has never met maybe he isn’t necessarily trustworthy. I stand by my belief that the mom has every right to look in on what her son is doing on his Facebook page.

I will readily agree that calling a child a failure is not good parenting, but all we have here is the op’s second hand statement that the mother, who she clearly sees as the enemy who is keeping her from the one she loves, said this. I am not by any means trying to convince anyone that this woman should be up for the mother of the year, I am just not as quick as others in this thread to condemn her parenting.

@SuperMouse I’ve seen first hand with my 16 year old where I’ll be discussing problems with his behaviour etc and he sums it up as “yeah, yeah I’m an awful child” when I’ve never said that because I don’t believe he is. And even if I did believe it I would never say it.

Perfect example of what I was trying to get across @tranquilsea. My son would say something along the lines of “well, I’m not the perfect child like (his sister) and you wish you hadn’t adopted me. I get it.” Well, obviously, he didn’t get it and, for him at least, he was just trying to distract and sidestep the issue at hand.

Kids love to turn an argument into the ‘poor me, I’m the victim.’ analogy. I think this is only a small side issue to what @projectilevomit is asking.

She knows she’s not appealing to mother-types. She writes, ‘No surprise there.’ when she explains that the mother of the boy she likes doesn’t approve of her. She’s a bit of a rebel and free spirit. That is utterly cool and I wish I was as brave as her at that age.

The fact of the matter remains that they are both very young. @projectilevomit may not like hearing that, but it’s true. She is much better off, imho, to keep up her pursuit of defining herself and in quest of her interests and let the boys come and go as they may, keeping the ones she finds interesting in her peripheral vision.

Let him know you care and that when he’s able, you’ll make the time. Don’t sweat the mother. Leave the two of them to it for now. Perhaps he’s just a baby bird that needs his mummy still, and that’s fine because he’s young yet. Don’t let him get kicked out of the nest before he can fly. He may need time. He may need time and not realise it yet. You seem a bit more mature so perhaps you can do what friends do for each other and let go a bit until the timing is better.

@cazzie Kids love to turn an argument into the ‘poor me, I’m the victim.’ analogy. Holy crap that is one hell of an over-generalization. Is there something about being underage that makes kids be so much more manipulative and deceitful than adults? We know adults are all stand-up decent people, and kids are just fuckers trying to screw with you.

@MyNewtBoobs it is fairly common knowledge that a majority of teens are somewhat narcissistic, believe no one really understands them, and that parents specifically and the world in general are really just out to make them miserable. I don’t think that @cazzie is insinuating that kids are “fuckers trying to screw with you” I think she is just trying to point out that the teen mindset is different from that of a grown ups and maybe that should be considered when responding to the OP. There is also no insinuation that adults are “stand up decent people”.

@SuperMouse Everyone always remembers that teens are narcissistic, believe no one really understands them, and that parents specifically and the world in general are really just out to make them miserable. And then they change their language accordingly, instead of trying to just treat teens like all other human beings. Which then contributes to the idea that no one understands them. But @cazzie‘s statement seems much more vindictive than stating that teens have different brain chemistry – I can’t imagine anyone saying “geriatrics love to turn an argument into the ‘poor me, I’m the victim’ analogy even though there is also massive brain chemistry differences at that age. Her statement is flat-out ageist.

@MyNewtBoobs Vindictive? and when I said kids, perhaps I should have just said that when ´immature people´ do that. My 6 year old does it and sometimes, even my 43 year old husband, on a bad day, does it too. Are you a teenager taking that comment out of context and personal, because I certainly didn´t mean that. If you read the thread, you´ll understand the comment I´m referring to. Did you get past the first paragraph and read the rest of my post? I was rather complimentary to this young woman.

I am wondering, of the people who said the mom was wrong to “snoop,” how many of those Jellies are parents themselves, and more specifically, parents of teens (or have parented teens)?

I wonder that because I have several friends with teens who were raised in good, caring households (by this I mean the kids were not neglected in any way) and as they are now experimenting with drugs and other things, I know my friends would not hesitate to look in a FB account or do whatever else they could to find out more about their teens’ private lives and who their friends are.

@jca I’ve been wondering this myself. I also wonder if those who have younger children might change their tune when they have grown into teens.

@jca wonder that because I have several friends with teens who were raised in good, caring households (by this I mean the kids were not neglected in any way) and as they are now experimenting with drugs and other things, I know my friends would not hesitate to look in a FB account or do whatever else they could to find out more about their teens’ private lives and who their friends are. Maybe they can wait until their kids store up an arsenal of guns and pipe bombs in their bedroom closet and go blow up half the high school then say I woulda, shouda, coulda….when people ask why they were asleep at the switch? Seriously though, the 1st job is to be a parent not a friend.

@Hypocrisy_Central: It’s funny you say that because one of them, the school just had practice “lockdown” so the cops came with dogs and sniffed the cars, and the kid had a bullet and brass knuckles in his car. This, 3 weeks before graduation. The bullet turned out to be from an antique gun, the knuckles required more explanation. All in all, it got the kid a 3 day in-school suspension. The father went into the kid’s room as a result, and found a gun. Turned out to be a paintball gun, supposedly. You just never know with these kids!

My teen has added me as a friend on facebook. He’s also deleted me and added me again.

I truly understand the need for privacy but if I suspected that he was in to drugs I’d more likely search his room than his facebook page.

@tranquilsea I would search both and monitor both very closely along with monitoring the child him/herself.

My teens wouldn’t be allowed to even have a facebook account without friending us. It was part of the deal. That’s not to say we go snooping, but we could, and would, if we thought we had a reason to.

And there goes privacy .. nowdays nobody has privacy anymore due to [ let me call’em ] “strange facts ”]. Being a parent sometimes morphs into being a friend or else the rupture comes. But it doesn’t matter since a kid finds ways of avoiding a lot of things.
Better be straight with them and after they make some mistakes they know who the real “friends” are.

@SuperMouse You go girl! I see not a thing wrong with that. At least you will have a better chance at catching your child before they end up dead or in an orange jump suit should they ever head that way.