(NSFW) Does porn lead to divorce?

It could. Anything that one person in a relationship does against the other person’s will can lead to divorce.

No, @Pandora, that is not what the article says. What it says is that many divorce lawyers have “noted that the Internet was playing an increasing role in marital splits.” All they are saying is that more and more people are citing their spouses watching what they consider to be too much pornography in their divorce complaints. It is a different person—Patrick F. Fagan of the conservative Center for Research on Marriage and Religion—who is quoted in the article as saying that pornography contributes to infidelity. This statement, you’ll note, is not backed up in any way.

Since the link in the OP does not work, the actual article can be found here.

An over interest in porn could lead to divorce. Just as an over interst in playing video games could.

It happens when the particular activity or interest takes precedence over and interferes with the rest of one’s life.

@marinelife Good point
@SavoirFaire Sorry, read the article much earlier. Either way someone said that it contributes to divorce.
@Dutchess_III Also true

I’m sure it could if you notice your spouse on the screen.

My SO and I enjoy watching porn. Both of us watched it before we got together and we watch it together as well. Like it was said earlier, it can only lead to divorce if it becomes an addiction.

Not reading the article, I agree with @marinelife. In the case of porn, I’m sure it’s more to do with one partner spending more time on porn than with their spouse.

Maybe it does, and maybe it doesn’t. But in either case, I believe (1) freedom of speech is an absolutely essential right, and (2) you are responsible for your own actions regardless where you got the inspiration from.

For some yes.

It can lead to lack of trust, which is almost always the reason behind most divorces.
If it is kept secret, and the spouse finds it objectionable, sure.

I have spoken of these issues in my late marriage, and the therapist I saw said that she had seen a huge increase in her practice with porn addictions and marital fallout.

Of course there were other issues, but, I would say my ex’s ‘secret life’ was the biggest of a very meaty bone of dysfunction. Pun intended. lol

I’m going to be getting married later this year. If I learned after the fact my partner had a secret porn obsession then I’d blame that obsession for every time he said he was tired, stressed, not in the mood, etc. and I’d be furious he’d have been spending time fantasizing instead of doing the real thing with me. Sure, I’d divorce over those grounds too.

@Neizvestnaya Congrats. I wish you a long and happy marriage. :D

Thanks @Pandora. We’re pretty excited even though it’s #2 for each of us.

People lead to divorce. Saying porn leads to infidelity..well…people commit infidelity for many reasons, I don’t think it’s because they find porn encouraging of cheating. They’re probably just unhappy in their relationships – this leads, for some, to watching porn (if they find it taboo or ‘naughty) and to cheating.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir

Not always. Sexual addiction is real, just another way to mediate ones OWN unhappiness.
Like drugs or alcohol or gambling.
It has been proven that the dopamine and other brain chemistry reactions to a state of sexual arousal is more potent than just about any other drug.
Sexual addiction is about inner pain, and fear of intimacy, not just marital dysfunction.
Just like alcoholics or other addicts, they may love their partners, but…they are powerless over their own stuff.
It is total bullshit to shift the totality of the blame onto a partner.
This is why so many women suffer so much in these situations.
Feeling inadequate and less than.

It’s part of the archaic reasoning of always blaming the woman when her partner strays.

A breakdown in intimacy between married partners expresses itself in any one of a number of ways. Often some kind of obsessional interest in something that isolates one from the other is associated with marital breakdown. It could be an obsession with model trains, some activity that excludes one partner and demands large chunks of time frequently. Things related to sex and/or intimacy shared with some other potential partner undermine trust and hurt the spouse are most likely to seriously and irreparably damage the relationship.

Not always; my husband and I watch porn together sometimes. Having said that, if I caught him fapping while watching porn all alone in a dark closet, I’d have a problem with it.

I don’t get why people care so much about porn. Almost every guy has watched porn at some point. Many people enjoy it. It wouldn’t bother me if my significant other watched porn. As long as he was polite about it. You know, not when others were around, quietly, not expecting real sex to be like that. . .

Porn doesn’t lead to divorce, though stupid attitudes about porn might. Obsession is one stupid attitude, but let’s not confuse a porn habit with a porn obsession. I have every right to say “not tonight” for whatever reason I want, even if it’s because I’d rather masturbate than have sex with my partner. Sometimes, that’s just the mood I’m in. If I wasn’t taking care of her needs, that would be a problem. But so long as I am, she doesn’t have a right to sex on demand and neither do I.

Another stupid attitude is that porn (or masturbation) = infidelity. It doesn’t. Even if you tricked your partner into agreeing to relationship parameters that forbid porn/masturbation, it’s still not infidelity. You might be able to trick someone into signing a contract that sells them into slavery, but that contract wouldn’t be valid. Same thing here. This is a basic right, and you’re being unreasonable if you demand your partner not use porn or masturbate.

Almost everyone masturbates, and almost everyone uses porn. If you can’t deal with it, join a monastery or be prepared to search a very long time for a partner (assuming you don’t want someone who lies to you constantly).

@Coloma Well yes, anything can be addictive, obviously. And people get addicted for more reasons than people cheat. I wasn’t implying with my statement that addiction doesn’t exist.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir
Right.

@Uberwench

Yes, everyone masturbates, but, not “almost everyone” uses porn. False statement.
I believe the younger generations are simply conditioned to see porn as more acceptable, and they have grown up feasting at the table of the sexual smorgasbord beginning in the early 80’s with the advent of the VCR and the easy access to home viewing of what, for many years, was relegated to sleazy adult theatres in sleazy parts of town.

I have said this before, as a ‘mature’ woman, who has wttnessed, first hand, the ‘rise’ in the industry.

Sexually explicit material is nothing new, there is nothing NEW, under the sun, however, make no mistake about it, the casual mindset and copious amounts of material from the mild to the profanely deviant, has become as common and mundane as McDonalds.

No shortage of the super size mentality of junk sex.

It is part of our overall, grossly narcissistic society, that finds no objection in exploiting and objectifying humans for their body parts alone, as long as their self gratification needs are met.

As said above, referring to bad strippers as ” buzz killers”...well, there ya go. Pathetic to reduce another human being to a “buzz killer.”

Consensual viewing between partners is a far cry from the addictive cycle of which I speak of.

I believe porn desensitizes and alienates many men, ( and some women ) from healthy intimacy.

Like anything, a disturbed psyche can easily fall prey to the dark side of porn, using it as a replacement for true intimate relating.

This is where the danger lies in making the totality of unique human beings nothing more than another item on the menu of fast sexual gratification.

For those predisposed to emotional issues the empty calories of sexual fast food will ‘harden’ the arteries of intimacy.

@Coloma I agree.
“For those predisposed to emotional issues the empty calories of sexual fast food will ‘harden’ the arteries of intimacy.”
Mc Sex! I love it. I can’t help agree with you. I think a lot of people do end up desensitized and just taking that Big Mac to go.

@Pandora

Yep, Mc Sex, that’s about it, would you like a lap dance with that burger? haha

@Coloma Porn isn’t just internet videos. It covers a lot more. Erotic stories are porn, and they have a much broader fan base.

@Uberwench

I’m not talking about mild, written erotica, I am speaking of the sex club, and porn industries that objectify women, and attract many mentally & emotionally unwell people, male and female. I am simply saying, that, IMO, healthy people, ( mentally, emotionally and spiritually) do not advocate and support, pain and shame based industries.

As always, there are degrees to everything, from the relatively harmless, to the severely damaging. 2 beers does not an alcoholic make, 12 beers hidden in the closet and drank in secrecy does. All addiction involves secrecy/hiding, lying and deceit, this is where the line between” harmless” and ‘unhealthy” lies and where relationships are effected.

@Coloma But I am talking about those things and it was you contradicting me that I was responding to.

@Uberwench

Okay, miscommunication.

@Coloma It’s cool. No problem.

It could be argued that watching porn might avoid infidelity too. If someone is not feeling sexually satisfied within a relationship, porn might help to alleviate their stress and frustration. I think porn can cause problems if it is being watched in preference to spending time with a partner or if the partner feels insecure because of their partner’s use of porn.

Really though, if someone spent all their time playing golf or any other activity and not attending to their relationship it would not be healthy for the long-term success of that relationship.

@Bellatrix

Exactly!

Anything that deters intimacy, that is used as an escape from healthy coping, communication skills, has the potential of blowing up a relationship.
A lot of people ‘check out’ on TV, computer, even excessive reading.
Doesn’t matter, but, the sexual checkout poses a deeper breach for most.