Do you act any less wildly when you fall in love at 58 compared to falling in love at 18?

I think love is love at any age and the irrational exuberance is the same. You might be able to temper your actions slightly better with maturity but even that is often not the case.

I think you know more at 58. So you know more stupid things to do. That’s the only difference I can see.

58 is old, but not that old. A new love can bring out gushy emotions in people at any age. It’s just harder to overlook it when it’s so public, especially when there personal feelings for one of the people.

As for why they might choose to uproot and this newfound love over their responsibilities for others, can you give some specific examples? Are young children involved? If so, how old are they?

Not necessary. I think it depends who you fall for and how the chemistry between the two of you stands. I had a much younger lover who was much mature than I was and also dated someone much older who was quite stupid and immature.

Wild to you maybe not so wild for others and vice versa. I think as we get older we know a lot more and have a better understanding what to do to have fun. Write a nice poem etc. has nothing do with age. I’m not a romantic person, so I find it quite silly even when I was young, but don’t quote me on this. Find out the person that you are interested in and go to get her!

Just be yourself and don’t try too hard. Be brave, because most woman like a brave man. Enjoy your new chapter and have fun. Life should be fun and have a lot of fun!

The ecstacy of new love at any age brings about behaviors which, in the cold light of emotional sobriety, give one pause. That drunken feeling of limerence often creates behaviors that are harmful when seen in retrospect (or by the critical eye of others who aren’t “in love). Irrationality borne of love is ageless, and my personal belief is that you “feel so good” that you mistakenly believe all aspects of your life with catch the good vibe at some point. Good judgment often stands on the sidelines when the love parade is marching.

@6rant6 LOL! Exactly!

I think you can be just as goofy in your fifties as in your teens—maybe more so, because unless you’ve been making it a habit all that time, it may be a huge and thrilling revelation: “I had no idea I was still capable of feeling like this.”

Some behaviors are tempered a little bit with age and circumspection, and others may be more pronounced, exaggerated by the intoxicating feeling of “one last time” and the seemingly impossible turning back of the clock. Also some are smiled upon indulgently when you’re a teen but frowned upon or regarded with cold, shuddering embarrassment when you’re past a certain age.

A huge question for your character is whether his amorous interest is returned. The same emotions and behavior on the part of the smitten one are viewed differently depending on whether they are reciprocated.

As to whether a person would really choose love over a settled life of accepted responsibilities, love is a kind of madness whenever it happens. They do say “There’s no fool like an old fool.” Many a screenplay has been made on this theme.

For a very poignant view on this question when the lover is an older man, hear Leonard Cohen’s poem of aching and yearning on this segment of NPR’s Fresh Air.

I’ve acted differently in my 40’s than when younger, definitely. There’s this feeling of knowing what things are worth repeating, what things I should’ve acted on but didn’t in the past and so the older me has been much more passionate, driven, greedy not to waste time on retardation and more comfortable cutting the crap to state what I want and how I’d like to have it/share it. Older love has been so much more exciting and fulfilling, more appreciated too.

“They don’t call it falling for nothin’”

By 58, if you have cultivated whatever you know to be wild, your early years will hold their place as the endearing amateur hour.

At 18 you can be in an epoch of emotional firsts that probably won’t get duplicated with the same intensity and couldn’t possibly happen again with the same Promethean impact.

You could be less likely to have people left in your life at 58 who will try to interfere with your relationships.

You may be more likely to know about and avoid things that cause you pain at 58. You may know your feelings better and know a lot more about what you want, and you may have learned strategies for maximizing enjoyment of all aspects of love.
[ Or you’re skilled at being habitually wretched, co-dependent people need love too ].

At any age a relationship can change the direction of your life. That’s wild.

Your intention and focus could certainly be different at 58 and with the right partner you will love into existence. Falling, not so much, wild, yes. I’ll let you know in a few years.

@dabbler,
You could be less likely to have people left in your life at 58 who will try to interfere with your relationships.
At 18, you’re likely to have two if your parents are the interfering type.

At 58: hmm. Spouses, exes, kids, grandkids, siblings, in-laws, bosses, co-workers. . . they could add up.

@Pied_Pfeffer I haven’t decided whether the character has children or not. If I did include children, they’d be late elementary school, early high school. As to other responsibilities—normal things like they might have senior positions with their employers, and one of them would have to give up that position. Or one is a community leader and working on some important project, and they’d have to give that up.

Also families. Their families might be ashamed if they do this. Plus holiday arrangements, etc. There’s a lot that gets disrupted.

As it stands now, both have been married, but are currently divorced. But I’m also playing with the idea of having one of them (or both) still be married. What kind of love would it take to make someone who was married with kids separate from all she has known? Would this be insane, or could it be something real—as in could it last? Why would they believe it would last? Would they be running away from something or running towards something or both? If both, which would be more important?

i think at 18 you know you dont have alot of responsibilities,but when youre older you have more common since about things and matters of the heart. you know what actually love is and not puppy love. sorry if this is upsetting to anyone. if i had to start over again, id know what to be careful of, and to be made feel young again, would make even the grownups, act like teenagers.

@envidula61,
What kind of love would it take to make someone who was married with kids separate from all she has known? Would this be insane, or could it be something real—as in could it last? Why would they believe it would last? Would they be running away from something or running towards something or both? If both, which would be more important?

I think the key to the questions in this list is here: Would this be insane . . . ?

There have been plenty of people who’ve done this sort of thing. Some of their stories, or the stories of those they’ve left behind, can be found in magazines and, no doubt, online. Some will say “You can’t build your happiness on someone else’s hurt,” and others will say, “Yes, you can.”