What names are there not to name your child?
When I was in Jr. high in my art class what this kid named Egbert. I have never met an Egbert since or before that. The poor kid got it both barrels; he was called ”Egg Head”, ”Eggy”, ”Egg White”, “Egg Butt” you get the picture.
Years ago in a Time magazine there was a blurb about parents with the last family name of Pigg naming their twin girls Ura and Ima …I don’t have to tell you what the out come of that would be. Are there just some names you should avoid naming a baby, names that might haunt them all through school if not life? Some names like Wolfgang, Gilligan, Gomer, Toby, Lance come to mind. I didn’t hang around girls so I don’t know which names they keyed in on.
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Mr and Mrs Highwater who called their daughter Helen?
My English teacher Mrs Berry called her daughter Holly
I know a woman who named her son Pinhead. Saw the birth certificate and everything. Her other son is Socrates and her daughter is Chakra. Pinhead is pretty awful though. Damn…
A boss and his wife named their son “Prairie” because that was the street they were on when he was conceived. Can you imagine explaining that to questioning friends?
I know 2 different children named Abcde. They pronounce it Ab-cuh-dee. It’s the most idiotic name I’ve ever heard. Ever.
I think there was a political figure in the USA named Dick Swett. Come on, really? Why on earth… my goodness.
I wasn’t going to post it…but I just had to, lol.
@Brian1946 -ugh!
There is a family in Cornwall with the surname ‘Savage’; they named their two sons ‘Strange’ and ‘More’. Really.
@auntydeb And not a sigle Randy between them all, really?
No Benitos, that’s for sure.
And i never understood the habit of calling sons with names of inanimate objects, like Brick for instance. We don’t have that, then again my nation is incredibly unimaginative when it comes to names, considering there’s an overwhelming number of Marys, especially if you count second names as well.
Oh, and potentially any foreign word used as a name, like Donna (woman in italian) or Regina (queen in italian).
Also, i don’t know how reliable thiswould be but: http://f2.org/humour/language/oddnames.html
@DominicX Ugh, my cousin named her daughter Nevaeh. It disturbs me.
I remember when I was 11 or 12, delivering newspapers around my neighborhood, there was a guy named “Wieiner Cadet” I thought it was hilarious at the time, but more recently feel sorry for the guy, that’s a pretty harsh name to give a kid.
Oh, that guy named Dick Swett…is also known as Richard Nelson Swett. So, either he changed his name from Dick to Richard ..or vice versa. Interesting.
Seen the name Burl, yesterday.
There’s our senior British Army guy called Sir Jock Stirrup whose name always makes me snigger like a 9 year old kid
Trig and Trip and Trapp come to mind as pretty silly.
And you wonder why she looked so sad.
@zenvelo, I went to school with a guy named Trip. Here’s the deal, it’s the preppy nickname for “the Third”. As in the boy’s name was actually Thomas Sullivan III, so everyone called him Trip. And on the street I grew up on, there was a boy everyone called Trey, because he was Adrian Hamilton III, IIRC.
Betty Swollocks
Mary Hinge
Dick Head
Wayne Kerr
I knew a family whose surname was Butt. They had a son named Harry. What about that Nascar driver Dick Trickle. I always hoped he would get sponsored by Viagra.
Bo? There’s a kid in my school named Randin. Unusual, but not bad.
I went to school with a Justin Pitcher
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Here in Norway, we have a ‘Naming council’. We can not name any child ‘Adolph’, by law. They also stop parents from naming their kids stupid things. From reading the above posts, I think it must be a good idea.
I worked with a guy in New Zealand who’s last name was ‘Dick’. His wife was pregnant and after a few Friday night drinks, he’d love to tell you all the names they couldn’t call their daughter-to-be. ‘Iona’, ‘Wanda’, ‘Amanda’....... he’d go on and on… it was hilarious.
My middle name is ‘Rowena’, oh man…it was so bad as a kid, anyone that found this out called me ” Ro-weenie”. lol I hated it! haha
My ex-mother-in-law was very snobby and when I was pregnant with my daughter I told her, in all ‘seriousness’ that if we had a daughter I was going to name her ” Beulah Lou ” and if a son ” Brooke Trout” my ex was an avid fly fisherman.
It was HILARIOUS, she could barely contain her shock! lol
My grandfather had a loquacious parrot named Adolph. He may have been named before WWII.
I knew a Barbara Fatt Heine and a Bathsheba Finkelstein Freeman ( eventually known as Sheba Freeman when her husband became the President of Dartmouth College).
I went to school with a guy called Richard wilcox… we used to call him triple dick!!
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I saw a wedding announcement once in the newspaper for a couple that were named…
” Larry & Terry Derryberry” haha
Could you imagine…the kids would HAVE to be Mary, Gerry, Harry, Gary, etc. lol
Anything that doesn’t mesh well with the last name.
Anything that mimics the last name.
Anything that sounds like a disease.
Had a friend in college named Eric Erickson. That’s just laziness in it’s purest form.
As rules go:
Don’t give a common name a funky spelling: it’s Karen not Carynne. I don’t care if it’s the old, original spelling. Unless you’re actually Welsh, avoid ‘Y’ and ‘W’ in names. Oh, and best to avoid “Q” regardless of heritage.
@Coloma I love that. It sounds like something from Dr. Suess or Roald Dahl.
Nobody has mentioned Delores.
I saw yesterday, carved on the pediment of a little stone mausoleum:
LUST
LIGHT
This may just be an urban legend, but I heard about twins named Asshole (Ash-O-lee) and Shithead (Shi-tayed).
Could that possibly be true? Who would do that to their child?
@wilma My sister in law named her dog Shithead and pronounces it “Shuh Theed”.
As a Brit with a low sense of humour, I get unduly amused whenever I hear of an American called Randy. It means something entirely different over here.
Do you feel horny baby? Do I make you randy? :P
I used to know a guy named Gaydon. I’m sure he took a lot of grief for that.
Another friend of mine was named Galen, which unfortunately for him at the time, was the name of the Ape that Roddy McDowell played in Planet of the Apes.
Also, I had a crush on a boy in 7th grade, but his unfortunate name was Rod Butts. He was blonde and beautiful and very athletic. Thank goodness for him.
And believe it or not, I briefly worked with a man who’s first name was Hitler. This guy was about 30 years old and he was African (not African-American, actually born in Africa, not sure which country, though) Anyway, when he first started, one of the other employees hollered down the hall to him, “Hey Hitler, come down here and get your assignment.” I went up to the guy who had just hollered down the hall and said, “Hey Ben, that was really mean! You shouldn’t call him Hitler, what did he ever do to you? He seems very nice to me. You should go and apologize!” So then Ben (who was also African) started cracking up and almost fell on the floor as he explained to me that the fellow was actually named Hitler and not only that he was a Junior, because his father (who would have been in his 50’s or 60’s) was also named Hitler. Their last name was an African name.
I just kept thinking to myself, who on earth after WWII names their kid Hitler? Apparently it is more common in some African countries than you would think. Anyone know the reason for this?
@PluckyDog Dick Swetty was not a polition—He was a SNL creation, a chef who specialized in meatballs.
:“the juice plumpness Dick Swetty balls . . . til you’ve tasted Dick Swetty’s balls . . .”
@downtide a friend of mine [and quite the studsman] used to gue a pseudonym for fun—Randy Swiver.”
I went to high school with a girl named named Constance Butts. By the time she was in high school there were no new jokes that could be made of her name.
I don’t think any first name would have worked for her.
@anartist This is the guy I was talking about – Richard ‘Dick’ Swett. I didn’t know Dick could be short for Richard until someone PM’d me about it.
@wilma If you can have Ima Pigg, and Ura Pigg, you can have anything…..
@downtide I have a friend named Randy in the 4th grade, was the one and only Randy I ever met guy or girl. There was an all American fooballer in my high school named Bill Gay though, thank heavens he was over 6 foot and build like a stout oak.
I went to school with an Edward Eddy. And yes, he got called Eddy Eddy. Nice kid, though.
Lke @PluckyDog, I find Nevaeh to be a bit disturbing. Is it supposed to be respectful to the idea of heaven? Is it devil worship since it’s backwards?
Somebody please tell me that you have seen this website. I quite literally laughed out loud the first time I read through the posts.
@tedibear The link you provided is to this thread. :)
Based on the last question thread I read, please do not name your child Stegma.
^^ Psst. You mean smegma.
You’ll get a stigma if you name your child stegma or smegma or shmegegge : )
Guy I know named his daughter “Orange”.
She’s very appealing.
Girl my wife knows named her daughter “Beautiful”.
Lot to live up to there.
An artist friend of mine named her daughter Aja Monet. ( Pronounced Asia )
I thought it was a beautiful name. :-)
In a related thread
The first posts here were Hitler and Adolph. I’m going to go with Osama and Bin Laden. Not a good choice for an American (or any kid). Well, maybe in Syria.
I think these days Chester would not be a good name for a kid, and though Lolita is not strange I can see trouble for any girl that has it, Trixie also.
Oh I remember another ..a friend of my sister’s named her daughter Faeriel. All I thought was ugh.
@PluckyDog For real!?! Sorry could not resist. :-P
@Hypocrisy_Central Lol I didn’t even think of it that way. I was thinking faeries/fairies. Good one. :P
@PluckyDog I have a friend, the daughter of two new age fucknuts, who was named Galadriel.
@Thammuz Yeah, this person is very much like that.
Frodo or Bilbo. Data or Uhura. Pretty much anything from the Sci-Fi or Fantasy realm – that would just be sad for the kid.
@zen I could easily see someone being called Luke, Jean-luc, Diana, William, Geordie or James, honestly.
Isn’t Uhura a real name in Africa, maybe common too?
I considered a lot of names I had never heard of before because my son is half Norwegian. Had my son been a girl, the choice was easy… Elise, but when I found out he was a boy we had a heck of a time. There are a lot of cool names here in Norway for boys, but I had to think how it sounded in English, for my family. I wanted a name they could just say so they wouldn’t be mispronouncing it constantly. When I mentioned some of the names to my sister she said I sounded CRAZY and where on earth did I come up with those names?? I had to tell her they are names that are very common here. Magnus, Einer, Magnar, Anders, Andries… she thought they were all weird.
We can’t call our kids a few of the common English names because of how they sound here. For example: Mark is the word for worm. Steve sounds like the word for ‘stiff’ and is slang for a hard-on. Brett means a board or a tray.
Just a little foreign perspective for you.
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@gailcalled Yes, that’s what I meant. Thanks. That thread got me all flustered. It was hysterical!! No Smegma kids or grandkids to be in my fam. :)
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There actually was someone in DC named Mister Mister [Reminds me of Catch-22]
Chastity Bono had a load to carry with that moniker.
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