What are good reasons to file a restraining order on the ex spouses behavior?

Change your locks

If you are upset by this call the cops. He’s basically keeping tabs on you. The only problem is I don’t think they can do anything unless you’re afraid for your life. This can also be seen as harassment and I think you can file a restraining order then. He could easily rob you, kidnap you and what not.

Get a clear custody order outlining exactly when and how the kids are transferred. And next time he walks in your house, call 911 and tell them there is an intruder. And change the locks.

Restraining orders aren’t usually filed on behavior, they’re filed on people. Change the locks, and if he still gets in, call the cops and have them escort him from your residence. Oftentimes, the first time, they’ll just get him outside and issue a warning – but if they have to do it again, they’ll arrest him. After the police have been called a couple times, then you might be able to get a restraining order.

Changing the locks won’t do any good once the children open the door to see their dad. He’s taking advantage of them in order to purposefully dominate your space and he obviously has no concern about whether or not he has the respect of your mother. I’d call the courts and also the police/sheriff to ask exactly what can be done.

Sharing kids is one thing but with your mother in the house as well, he’s way way way out of line because she could be startled and hurt herself during one of his boorish visits. It puts her in a terrible position if she’s the one to answer the door when he comes by unannounced (to you or her beforehand) or to not want to answer the door and let him in once the kids know he’s outside the door. That he takes advantage of that makes him a poor excuse for a man.

At first he would just walk right into my house. I put a stop to that finally. Then he would just walk in and stand at the entry way. The more we argued about his walking in not announced, the more I didnt even want him in my foyer. Now, he comes anytime he wants and I only have the youngest in joint custody. 50% is what it is supposed to be legally. I have my youngest 6 nights a week and his father picks him up at 5:30 and spends one night with him. he usually watches T.V. My son doesnt even ever want to go with him ever. Therefore whenever his father feels like it he stops over. Usually my other 2 kids are over and grandson. My mother stays with me and has heart problems. Everyone gets upset at ME because I make it known he is not wanted at my home as he randomly stops by. I tell him over and over to always contact me before he comes knocking at my door. He NEVER listens to me and the cycle goes on and on…trust me we are divorced because I started to become strangely ill and he is nothing but a lyer and a cheat and a poor excuse for a man is correct!

So then take him to court for violating the custody agreement.

Start locking your doors. Instead of having him pick your children up at the house, arrange to trade them off at another site, like a McDonald’s. Or take them to his place. Take him back to court. It doesn’t sound like 50%.

I can not afford to. I have paid almost $20,000 for the best lawyer and the ex has changed everything in the decree to suit his needs and benefit him. My son does not even want to be with his father who lives between his fathers home and his girlfriends (both places). I have a new lock for my door. He actually has stopped walking in. He just randomly comes over anytime. I am sick of it.

Get a Bad-Ass boyfriend or girlfriend to stare his sorry ass down the next time he thinks he owns the place!

@BarnacleBill
Love the meeting arrangement.
@Cruiser He is a control freak and because he pays spousal maintenance, thinks he can do anything he wants really.

@Flutherit You are divorced…for FOUR YEARS! Stand up for yourself…just tell him to cut that shit out!

@Flutherit So then what can you do? What are our advice options here?

Your situation is much like my sister’s. She left her husband after he became so emotionally abusive that she was becoming a shell of the vibrant woman everyone knew. She won custody of the children, and finally gave up their beloved house when he refused to leave and bought one herself. The ex showed up at her new place on a regular basis and unannounced…he just walked in. When she started locking the doors, he talked one of his young daughters into giving him her key.

Like you, she was not in a financial position to go back to court over this. The ex hadn’t worked in years, other than offering his services as a fix-it man, so he never paid one bit of the child support he was required to by the court. During our side of the family’s gatherings, he would show up uninvited. There were so many times that he would walk in the house and wander around the dinner table eating off of our plates. I am not making this up.

Through the whole ordeal, she kept mum about how much this annoyed her in front of the children, friends and his family. Her thought process was that the children still loved their dad, and it would do no good to their emotional well-being to vent in their presence. When he talked badly about their mother to his children, they came home resentful and complaining about his behavior. She would say, “Don’t talk about your father that way. He loves you, and that is all that matters.”

It took a long time, but they finally came to a point where they could support each other without the animosity, although the tension was still there. When she passed away, he cried. It was the first time I ever saw him express emotion about another human.

Based upon the facts that you have provided so far, I suggest that you take a leaf out of sister’s book and find a way to come to terms with it as a burden that may need to be borne. Your children will come to their own conclusions about their father when old enough, as your son did.

And please know that my heart goes out to you.

Over and over again, I stick up for myself and it turns out to be an argument through the door. I email him and call him and tell him “DO NOT ENTER” Finally, he waits at the door. BUT, he is coming over to stop and see his son that lives with me unannounced. My 2 other kids are here alot and my grandson too. He is speaking through the door after someone answers it. Not me. He is always saying “I need to talk to so and so.” I keep telling him DO NOT COME OVER to my house, plan time with your kids and grandson on your own without bothering me..it becomes an unecessary argument and everyone becomes involved. My elderly mother sticks up for HIM. It’s ridiculous!

@Flutherit I think we’re all on your side here, but we can’t really do anything about it except offer the advice we already have.

@MyNewtBoobs and everyone..

Yes, I do have great ideas so far. I wrote him an email to not come to my home and today he wrote on saying he will pick up my son at a certain time. Unbelievable! I wrote back saying no you wont. He will walk or his brother will bring him. He doesnt listen EVER!

Typically restraining order are given out only in certain cases-most involve stalking, domestic abuse, and harassment. Here is an article that talks about the process and qualifications for one. Your best bet-as some other people mentioned-is changing the locks. Once he attempts to enter your home-and he does NOT have a key-you can call the police legally.