The meaning of memory? As in, what is the significance of memory in my life? Or as in what does memory symbolize? Or as in “how do you think about memory?”
Without memory, I think I would really be nothing. There would be no real consciousness. Of necessity, I’d have to be programmed for automatic responses to every situation. It is only with memory that I can get a sense of continuity and I can bring in knowledge of what happened last time in a similar situation and use that information to make a different decision this time. So memory means me. I don’t exist without memory.
Memory symbolizes a record of the past. I creates this notion that you can recall the past in potentially great and accurate detail. I think memory is a symbol of continuity and certainty. Of course, since memory is notoriously inaccurate, this belief in continuity and certainty is largely a myth. Yet most people believe that memory is accurate and reliable. They make decisions based on the things they remember.
My memory is horrible. Increasingly, I can not recall words. I know there is a word that I want to use in this situation, but I can’t find it in my memory. I have to go to a thesaurus to find it. Memory, for me, is a great source of frustration. I don’t remember my past very well. I forget things within hours or even faster.
All my life I have behaved as a librarian. I need to be able to retrieve information from an external library since my internal library is for shit. I also have many memory objects—things I have collected whereever I go. Oddly, those things seem to be better for my memory than photos. Photos are too specific and if I don’t recall the photo, it just ads to the mystery of my past. I mean, there’s something there, but I don’t recall it, so the pictures might as well be of someone else.
But my memory objects—stones, works of art, letters, etc, spark memories and make me feel like something real is going on in my head, even though I know my memory is more like imagination than any kind of accurate record.
I can’t really sum up what memory means. I know it’s important to me. It is the basis of myself and my consciousness, but it is very inaccurate and unreliable, which means I have to be very skeptical of it, and compensate for it in other ways.