Men, have you ever pressured someone into doing something sexual?

What constitutes pressure, is it asking for something the other partner is not crazy about?

I prefer sex with a woman without having to try really hard to convince her. If I have to convince her too hard then she really doesn’t want to do it Sex is better when both enjoy it. I don’t know why this is tagged with rape. Convincing a woman to do something sexual is not rape. Convincing means that she said yes. She has to say no and be forced to do it for it to be considered rape.

Didn’t you already ask this question recently?

Well, when some women have said they want to be pursued, or they want the guy to make the first move, there’s different ways to interpret that. We can’t read minds, so we have to decide how to go about it, and even if women told us how to do it, it still wouldn’t work because every woman is different and you’d have to ask every single woman you were with how to go about “getting some”. Do we wait a certain amount of time? How will we know when that time is? If you give us a hint, will it be obvious enough? Or will we have to find out which signal is “the one”? It’s too much work sometimes.

I usually drug my victims, so this isn’t something that comes up that often for me. However, on the rare occasion when I have a conscious one, or as I like to call them “rememberers”, the issue has been known to come up.

It is usually something that happens with one night stands and casual relationships. I have an idea, I get told no, I ask “why + are you sure” and depending on the answer we drop it or go for it.

A while back I used to approach the wife while she was cooking. I’d slide up behind her, place my hands on her hips & attempt to kiss her softly on the back of the neck.
Big mistake!! She’s under a bit of pressure when she cooks, bless, & so she smacked me in the gob while wearing oven gloves. A strange sensation, like a muffled dull ache.
Anyway I learned my lesson, i’m a quick learner.

Although in general a little persuasion seems harmless, like ucme’s example. Sometimes you just randomly get horny so you approcach your SO with the agenda of having sex or whatever. Maybe one person feels an urge while you’re driving, so you end up pulling over and covertly banging one out really quick lol.

Harmless!?! She hits like Mike Tyson! :¬(

@ucme bob & weave, man…bob & weave.

Sure. Generally soft, gentle pressure. I think the only time I use strong or rough pressure is when she requests it…

I think the line is control. I try to use friendly pressure as a request or a suggestion, not as a way to force or control. If I catch myself being manipulative (or if I get called out and get it that way), I tend to upset myself and change. I try to give the woman’s will more weight than my own, and of course to have her feel safe and loved and respected.

I don’t think I have ever pressured a woman into doing something sexual. The mere act of having the need to convince someone just dampens my desire.

edit :: I thought this was about men being pressured and I had a tale that I typed out.. But never-mind. I read something wrong.

This is a little confusing to me. It seems like there is a difference between the first time you have sex and then subsequent times. An established relationship sets a precedent and a history of how the couple relates to each other.

Having said that, I have never pressured a woman into sex. For me, sex is about love, and if I pressure her, then it means she doesn’t love me, and that’s not interesting to me. I know I’m somewhat in the minority on this issue, but that’s the way it is. If she isn’t totally into me, I don’t want it.

In theory, I would think that if you were playing a game that involved pressure, that would be fine as long as you both agreed on the game. In that case, it wouldn’t be pressure. It would be a game you play as a way to express your feeling about each other.

I do use seduction, but I don’t know why you would include that in the same league as pressure. Seduction means arousing a woman so she wants you. It’s not about getting over on a woman, as far as I am concerned. But then, maybe I’m coming from a different place than a lot of people with respect to sex.

My first answer to this question was no, I have never pressured a woman for sex. I want them to want it more than I do. But I have asked a woman to do things they normally wouldn’t try. Is that pressure?

@Adirondackwannabe If I may, asking a woman to do things they haven’t done yet is not pressuring them. It could be introducing them to things they may end up enjoying or not. However, it will be “pressure” if they want to get out of the window and you’re pulling them back! Lol. : )

@mazingerz88 Okay, I’ll refrain from the forcible restraint and use that criteria as a definition of pressure. So I can now answer NO. XD

I did tell my girlfriend in high school that “I loved her” to lose my virginity. I did love her but I didn’t say it for a long time out of fear of it not being returned. But I played it to get laid.

Best.Ten.Seconds.Ever

@Mikewlf337 Legally, that’s not quite true. Pressuring someone can fall under the category of “rape by coercion”, and it is illegal in many places. That’s why the question is tagged rape, because the law sees it as rape.

Pressure? Sure, I mean who doesn’t try to turn on their partner, especially if they’re all riled up and the partner isn’t. I mean… I have had sex with my partner (past and present) when I wasn’t really up for the idea, because they made it clear they wanted to and in some form “pressured” me. And I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t done the same thing back, and continue to try and turn on a partner after she had said she wasn’t up for it.

But there’s a difference between pressuring, and forcing.

No, actually.

I’m almost never the initiator of that sort of thing. Hell, I have girls get mad at me because I never make the first move. I’ve been pressured myself, as well.

@ucme My husband is always grabbing me when I am cooking. It’s annoying, but I like that he wants to grab me, but not in the kitchen! I am busy. Then, a couple of months ago on some show there was some survey that said that men are aroused by watching their wife cook or do household chores or something like that. Oy. I couldn’t believe it.

In a word no, but it is more complicated than that. Sometimes I have wanted sex more than my partner and she may or may not have agreed to it to please me. I have never forced anyone to do anything they were not comfortable with. It is best when you are both in the mood.

No. OK, I may have whined once or twice years ago.

But my wife is not one to do it out of sympathy or pity or just to shut me up. ‘No’ quickly turns to ‘fuck off’ which leads to yelling aaaaaaannnd… I’m suddenly not in the mood anymore.

@JLeslie Us blokes are a strange bunch ;¬}

Since when has pressure ever lubricated a vagina?

@mattbrowne good point lol.

@JLeslie My trademark line “go make me a sandwich” has nothing to do with that, I swear promise think…

@bob_ Lol, I am going to start using that.