What do you call farts?

Steve.

Dense & misty bottom burps XD

I just call them farts but my grandad calls them trumpers!

Butt sneeze

Ass thunder.

Nose Candy

There is a running joke in my family about “wood gnomes”....

That was my shoe
Someone else said it but I like it and have adopted it for my own

Guffed
Fluffed
Blew off
Anal sigh

Here’s a long list (261 at last count) of euphemisms at Urban Dictionary.

pooting

Aha! the logical follow-up to this

Barking Spiders
Green Cloud
Organ Recital
Crack Smoke

I don’t call them, they come on their own.

Uh-oh…Daddy has the Tooter-Toots!

Pull my finger

Hemorrhoid föhn.

Crack smoke!! Haha, that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.

I just call them farts. Or, we like to blame the tree frogs.

they are sometimes SBDs [just like the wwII fighter plane—silent but deadly]

Trumpers, ass thunder and crack smoke; LOL.

I don’t have specific names for them, but I do like ’‘silent but violent’’, or ’‘ninja farts’’.

I poofed ..tee hee.

I would just say I farted or trumped (is that a British thing, trumped?). My husband sometimes says fluffed. I have heard bottom burp.

Barking spiders

toot, tooted, tooting

Arkansas barking spiders
misdirected burp

Reference:
From the dictionary of farts
Fart Thesaurus

Another vote for barking spiders.

Okay, can someone explain the Barking Spiders reference. How does this work in a sentence?

It wasn’t me twas a bahkin spidah…aya

:-) As I said in my message, I am going to use this next time I let one loose.

I remember watching a movie about Jack the Ripper. These girls were reading a gentleman’s rule book, which says that if a woman passes gas in public, a true gentleman would up and take the blame.

Pretty random yeah, but it’s the closest thread I could think of posting this in.

lol@Symbeline. I shall pass that gem onto my husband who if I farted in public would undoubtedly point at me and laugh so everyone knew I was the guilty party.

@Bellatrix He does that? How mean lol

I think he would! In a jokey way though. He sure as hell wouldn’t take the blame. He thinks farting is funny. He has no sense of smell.

Oh…no sense of smell. For real?

Nods! True story. Which is a bit of a downer in that he can’t smell coffee or baked bread and all those lovely things. He can’t smell gas either and one day I had to stop him lighting the BBQ because I could smell gas and he couldn’t. And finally on a positive note for him, he can’t smell farts. So, he never knows how bad mine can be but also insists his don’t smell at all (he is joking of course) but they smell very bad!

Wow…that sucks. Was he born like that? So he never smelled anything, ever?

He isn’t sure. He said he had his tonsils/adenoids out as a child and he thinks something might have happened then, but he was very young so he can’t really remember.

It does suck. I suppose though, if you were going to lose a sense, smell is probably the best. It affects his sense of taste too though.

It’s not the smell that makes it funny, well sometimes it can be when watching others reactions, like a quiet one in an elevator. Usually it’s the tonal quality that makes it worthwhile so he’s good to go, no pun intended.

I feel sure men or should I say males, get far more joy out of farting than women.

Women are too proud to admit it, is my take on it.

I admit to farting. I can’t say I’m proud of them though (well mostly. I have let some crackers go though).

I always thought women didn’t fart.

I think you will find that’s only ladies… I’m not a lady. :-D

All ladies fart

A friend of mine’s mother didn’t fart [or was never caught] and was called “Fartless Daisy”

Sir Walter Raleigh [in a piece by Mark Twain, I think] referred to the event as “clearing my nether throat”

Another very old term aeolian crepitation [near the end of the commentary after the text]
The tale is told, too, of a certain woman who performed an aeolian
crepitation at a dinner attended by the witty Monsignieur Dupanloup,
Bishop of Orleans, and that when, to cover up her lapse, she began to
scrape her feet upon the floor, and to make similar noises, the Bishop
said, “Do not trouble to find a rhyme, Madam!”

At Japan verb is “onara”, noun is “he”;
At China verb is “fangpi”, noun is “pi”;
At France, verb is “peter”, noun is “pet”; etc.!