How common is it for men to desire children?

I don’t want kids. I’m a 34 year old male.

I already helped my sister raise her twins. I’m done.

I have definitely met a good number of men who wanted kids. This guy I dated when I was like 19 pressured me to get married because he wanted the babies so badly. (He has two now; they’re cute and everyone looks happy on facebook.)

I’m guessing guys don’t bring it up with other guys that much—probably the people who hear it the most are the girls they date, since it might be relevant to them…

I believe in men the desire is there, especially as you start to mature. However, it is not quite as strong as it is in women because the harsh reality of life is that the child bearing years of women are much shorter (men can conceive up to the time of death, and perhaps a few moments after…). At the end of the day the desire to reproduce is a basic biological drive. However, as with any sentient creature, how/if it manifests itself varies wildly among individuals.

They’re out there….

I was around 28 when I started having these strange thoughts about having kids.

Some men get a dog as a way to satisfy this urge to start a family.

When I was younger I was perfectly happy humping the arse of lovely gals without a care in the world. When I reached my mid-twenties however wham!! it hit me like a kick in the nuts, I wanted to be a dad so much. I got my wish, coz i’m a lucky bastard!

It is dependent on the man.

My ex never really wanted kids, we were married for 5 years before I became pregnant. He agreed to have a child, but never was excited about it.

I have no regrets, handled things as best I could, and wouldn’t change anything, but…he was a very disapointing and un-involved father.

A classic pathological narcissist that felt our child was a rival for his attention.

Until she hit about 12 and then she became a source a egoic ‘supply’ for him.
He could ‘mentor’ her in music and guitar playing and she was his adoring fan.

I felt like I was dealing with 2 children most of the time.

I divorced him when our daughter was 15.

It should have happened when she was 2.

For me it had everything to do with having a stable enough of an income to support having children and a wife that would be a good mother to my offspring. It took a while to get that combo and by then I could say I had a strong desire to finally have kids.

Blackberry, you now know one….me. Good question.

I never had these thoughts at all, until I met my now wife. Before marriage, we talked about having children and what they would look like. I knew my daughter would have a good personality and the good looks of her mother. I knew my son would have a good personality and hopefully look like his dad. We hoped that our son would come first and our daughter second. He could watch after her in school and keep her safe.

It was a plan made in heaven and we were blessed that our son was born first and our daughter second.

My wife and I discussed having children before we married and it all turned out just the way we had hoped it would.

Life is good.

Any man who wants a family at some point will want kids [ if he really wants a family because a family isn’t ONLY the wife ]

@Hibernate :: Tell that to my aunt and uncle who have been married for 40+ years and don’t have kids due to health problems.

I (ostensibly) got divorced because my husband changed his mind and decided that he not only wanted kids, he couldn’t conceive of living without the experience of having them. (Of course, in his case, that would not have involved his carrying them, bearing them, caring for them, feeding them, cleaning up after them, disciplining them, etc. He was a great one for wanting “things” [status symbols] and then not following through in any way.)

One of my closest friends is a 39 year old man who can’t wait to have kids. When he visits his sister he takes on as much care of his baby niece as he can (even the icky stuff) and is one of those that will be the most hands-on Dad that he can. It’s a treat to hear him talk about his desire to parent.

Most men I know definitely want/wanted children, if for no other reason than to carry on their family namesake or heritage. Can you imagine being the last of your family generation?

I’m a 26 year-old male.

I’ll have no kids, thanks.

I’m 25, I’ve tutored an autistic boy for the last year and a half, I have 9 siblings (6 of them younger), and I was a camp counselor multiple times for 5th gradish aged kids.

I don’t want kids right now, but some day I would like some. (otherwise I’d have got the snip snip a while ago to avoid the preggo scares)

I think most men actually want commitment, children, and talks about where the relationship stands, they just count on the woman to be the one to bring it up. Pretty much every guy I’ve dated has become the stereotypical “woman” when it comes to those issues when they figured out I wasn’t going to be the one to bring it up, and I know a few other women who don’t bring it up who also have this experience. Now, it could just be that we’re all choosing men who want kids and commitment and a name as to what we are at the moment, despite our best efforts, but I really think most guys sorta want these things, they just also want to be able to feel like they’re doing it for her, and be able to whine a bit about the pressure they’re getting.

I want kids.

I wanted to be a dad in the worst way. Turned out that if nature had it’s way, I couldn’t have fathered a child. I don’t know if I said much about it at that time. I guess I didn’t feel like it was anyone’s business. Now it doesn’t matter.

I guess you have to ask each man. The assumption that women want kids is also faulty. Not all do. I also read your question from a pedophilic topic’s perspective. I need to get my head out of the gutter

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Lol!

@Simone_De_Beauvoir So did I.

@MyNewtBoobs That’s not right yo, lol

You guys need to be slapped.

@JilltheTooth What? We kept talking about rape yesterday, so I just figured this was the logical conclusion of those threads…

@Simone_De_Beauvoir we both need to get our heads out of the gutter, because that was my first thought too.

I think it’s that it said “desire children” not “desire having children”.

@MyNewtBoobs Yeah, that’s my bad lol.

@Blackberry No prob, we all do it. I do it more commonly than others.

Before we got married, my husband made it clear that his career would come first. I was very agreeable to that. I already had one son, and they bonded as father and son. When he was ready, five years after we got married, he said it’s time now, and we had a child together. His trigger was a stable job, and a week spent at a family gathering, where all his cousins had babies or toddlers. He had grown up with his cousins, and one of them had a baby within weeks of the day ours was born.

It never would have occurred to me that @Blackberry meant anything other than becoming a parent…you sickos.

My ex-husband and I talked about having kids all the time, even before we were married when he was only 21. He (and I) wanted to have a boat-load of ‘em (6). We only ended up with a raft-full (3).

The other day I got so excited! I was thinking and I figured out that maybe I could have kids posthumously!

I think this might be the wave of the future . . .

You spend this life trying to make as much money, and build as much success as possible. If you don’t want kids, you might still want a legacy. So when you die you have a legal set up that makes a kid who has a big inheritance. The child might never meet you, but at the same time…so what!

I love kids. I love watching them learn and seeing them grow.
This has always been a strong desire for me.
The more the better.

@blueiiznh ah, the merit of your words puts mine in relief. In many ways I am still a child learning and growing.

As you can see from my prior answer children can be scoundrels! (especially me)

@Ltryptophan I am a big kid myself. They simply allow me to stay young and not look too foolish as I build sandcastles and play at the playground

@Ltryptophan – As John Lennon once said: “Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans.”

I understand what you are saying. However, the legacy we impart to our children goes far beyond our DNA and our bankroll. The most important part of being a parent is… well… being a parent. No, all of those other things like trying to build success don’t go away, they are a part of the whirlwind of one’s life after becoming a parent. However, in those rare moments of relative calm when the dust begins to settle you look back you realize that the truly profound part of our legacy is encapsulated within the collection of all of those little moments we spend with with our children.

It is rather like a large tapestry. when you are weaving on it is difficult to see anything but the thread you are working with. It is only when you step back that you really realize how all of those individual threads contribute to the whole.

I know guys who are very excited about having kids. One friend of mine in his early 20’s says he has his kids names picked out already. Wonder what the future wife will think of that one! I’ve met more that want kids than those that don’t.