When do you think I will stop doing things for other people and do what I want to do?

That really snowballed,huh?
I wouldn’t complain if someone goes out of their way to cook anything for me!
Who cares if people don’t know what paella is? Make that,along with something else if you like.
Try to relax and have fun with your family and friends! :)
If I went by my cooking,no one would ever call me! XD

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@lucillelucillelucille Snowballed. Exactly. I am usually a relatively calm person when it comes to throwing a party. Not this time.

Deep breaths, @JLeslie, deep breaths. I stress any time I’m having a group of people over for any reason. The thing to remember is that these people are your friends… they won’t care if things aren’t perfect, so try to relax.

As far as the food goes, serve your paella, maybe a veggie (maybe some melon, too?) and a great big salad. Make it as easy on yourself as possible while still giving people something they can eat even if they hate paella.

As for why you did it in the first place… it probably seemed like a good idea at the time. It probably is, too. Enjoy!

The repipe for the paella that we cook at the hotel I work at in Spain:

1— Oil up a paella pan with olive oil, and add red peppers, prawns, shrimp and muscles until they heat up

2— Remove everything that is not liquid or oil from the pan.

3— Add chicken and pork cubes to the pan and cook them, then add back all the other ingredients

4— Add some tomato pure.

5— Add chicken and vegetable stock until the pan is almost full.

6— Add rice (1 kilo per 10 people), runner beans, peas, and a couple of mushrooms.

7— Let it all cook in the stock slowly, without burning the bottom, until all the stock is gone.

8— Garnish the top with more prawns, shrimp, muscles, and wedges of lemon, and serve.

Anyone who does not like the end result is either sick in the head and can’t be helped, or is probably a member of the undead, and only feeds on diet of infants, bloood or brains.

As for your stress…

At a guess I would say it is because not only are your guests out of their confort zone, but so are you. Just be a little more confident about it all, and remember that if the guests don’t have a good time, it’s the guests fault. They did not have to cook anything, they got a totally free ride and lunch, a very rare thing these days, and even if it is burnt to a crisp and tastes like motor oil, they should still be greatful that they get invited in the first place.

As for serving other things with the paella.

Lots of paella can be like eating concrete. Unless you are planning to feed a small army, some cheese, olives, and perhaps some pickled onions and peppers will be more than enough for everyone to eat.

I watch 50 to 200 people get satisfied and full on a weekly basis, from a paella the size of a horse cart wheel.

@augustlan I was thinking a salad and then at the grocery store yesterday They not even have the dressing I like. Still, I think I will do a salad, go to another store today. I have to anyway because where I went yesterday did not have the size shrimp I wanted. That threw me also, having trouble at the market. I think that put me over the top.

I did buy fruit and melon. I am glad you said that.

@poisonedantidote I make paella a few times a year, so it is not so much making the paella itself that stresses me. Mine has scallops, shrimp, sausage, and chicken, with roasted red peppers and peas. I have had smaller dinner parties when it has been a big hit, but I guess I am just worried about this partcular group. I just have no idea how it will go. I am in the American south and parties usually have fat laden dishes with cheese and butter. Or BBQ type food. Maybe I am not giving them enough credit.

I did buy olives and pickles at your suggestion, for a more authentic feel. And I am making a flan for the same reason, but many times Americans seem not so into that either. But my husband will live it. Sigh. But, I will have some other desserts.

@poisonedantidote 1 kilo per 10 people? Interesting. I need to double check how much I usually make? I think in terms of cups not weight. And, I don’t use tomato puree, interesting again. I use chicken stock and saffron.

I don’t know about anybody else but I LOVE the chance to sample out new or unique cuisine and think you should just go with your gut on the menu. Serve some good wine and drinks so that anyone who is not so inclined to dine on a different meal can get hammered on an empty stomach! Sounds like a great time! Have fun!

@Cruiser I think that is why I tend to stress more, I don’t drink so my focus is always more on the food than the alcohol. In fact the alcohol is one thing that typically does stress me out every time, because I am rather clueless. We will have beer and sangria, and I am going back and forth on hard liquor/martini something?? My husband says just stick to the wine and beer this time.

Relax… You are not trying out for Iron Chef (or Master Chef or whatever it is called) This is a social, fun evening. The most important aspects are the people, the conversation and the connections. Doesn’t everyone usually bring drinks? That is the norm here. Have a few backup drinks but not enough for an army. If you live in a hot climate you might make one bucket of frozen Margaritas with Jose C, not the good stuff. It is always appreciated and feels festive.
Invite me, and I promise to enjoy everything you prepare or purchase. I will even take care of the dishes and worrying for you. It’s my job.
Enjoy!

@worriedguy I have no idea what people will bring except for one friend is bringing an appetizer (she is an instructor at Viking cooking school) and one is bringing some sort of Spanish sparkling wine. Honestly, one time years ago I relied on two people bringing something to a party, because they insisted on helping, and then at the last minute they could not make it, and I was kind of short, I don’t like to rely on other people too much to feed my guests, and it is not a potluck. I don’t want people to work when coming to my party, but I do have several people asking what they can bring, and when I say you don’t have to bring anything they don’t accept it, and when I say you can bring your favorite drink, they still insist on bringing a dish. I really don’t even know how to handle that. When I go to a party I expect to be entertained, not for it to cause me work. I just want to show up.

I’ll come for sure, get the address to me and bring several 1.5 liter bottles of Spanish red wine.

@JLeslie That is interesting. In our circle everyone helps. Sometimes the best conversations happen while washing dishes, or cooking over the grill.

First of all, I love paella and would love to be served it.

Second, people are adventurous at parties and adaptable.

Third, if you are stressing out, just change the theme of the party to what you originally planned. If anyone says something, which I doubt, just shrug and say “change of plans.”

@worriedguy There will be guests who will help clean up, and offer to help usually. Last time I hired someone, which I like better, but I did not do that for this party. I probably should have. The last party was more complicated food wise though, hahaha, not the worry about what food like this one, but I needed someone to continue to put out food. And they helped clean up.

@marinelife I have thought about doing that a zillion times in my head, but that goes to the original question, my husband makes me feel like an idiot that I am worrying to begin with, even though he has said go ahead and change it.

@JLeslie Clearly your events are classier than mine. ;-) We only hired help once for a party – my son’s wedding:120 people. I have a July 4th party every year for 70–80 and it runs on autopilot.
Dinners for 20 are a pleasure – honest.

@worriedguy I don’t think I would call it classier. I really think it only has to do with expectations of the host providing all the food and drink or not.

No clue. You tell me. Hope the party goes well.

@poisonedantidote I think I am going to add a little more rice than I originally planned. Thanks. I just finished making the chicken broth. One question. Do you think I should keep on a flame, in one of those serving thingies, chafing dish? Or, will it dry out? My husband thinks better to put it in a regular serving dish. I’ve never made it where it might sit for a while, I have only served it at smaller dinner parties.

Starting to feel a little better. Thanks everyone :).

Honestly…when you start letting people do for you sometimes instead. You could have said to the guy, “Oh! That sounds great! Do you have a recipe you prefer?” And hopefully he’d say, “You know, I make a GREAT papalli or whatever it is and I’ll bring it!” At which point you could either say, “Great! And Dutchess is bringing her famous baked beans!” OR…you could say, “No. No. I’ll make it! AND Dutchess’ baked beans!” and…there you go again! Which one would you have chosen…and why?

Cue Donavan singing “I’m just mad about Saffron…

I’d put it in a regular oven safe serving dish if you have one. A chafing dish would probably dry it out too much.

Sounds like you have worked out just the right menu, and any extras brought by others will just add to leftovers! Have fun and enjoy your party!

@Dutchess_III He did not ask me to make him anything. He was talking about Paella, it was his first time having it, and I said I would have him over one time and make him mine, I was happy to make it for him, and then it got out of hand from there. It is really my doing.

It is not a pot luck party. Where I come from it is specified if people are expected to bring a dish. Nothing wrong with that type of party. Sometimes there is a theme, sometimes not.

I’ve been thinking about this question. Isn’t what you’re doing exactly what you want to do?

@JLeslie Please let us know how the party goes, and then let us know when we might discuss your original question.

Take pictures, please!

I saw your other question related to this one—if you did give people suggestions of things to bring, would that take some of the pressure off you? Maybe you could have someone else bring a salad/an appetizer/a fruit plate/something for dessert? That takes some of the hostessing pressure off you and you can focus on the main dish and the stuff that only you can take care of.

Oh @nikipedia…don’t go there!!!

First, take a deep cleansing breath, then let it out slowly whooooooooooshhhhhhh.

Definitely put your husband to work (sounds like he’s already very helpful and willing) then see if you can get one of your neighbor’s teenagers or a teenage relative to be on hand to help you with everything from the cooking, to the table setting and decorating, to the serving if need be and with cleanup afterward. You don’t need to hire a professional.

I agree with @augustlan that you might need a few more things besides the paella, and you might want to politely inquire if any of your guests are vegetarians, because they won’t be able to eat the paella, but they will probably still want to come to your party if they know that there is something that they can eat and they won’t be a burden to you. If you have some veggy guests, you could let them bring something.

Otherwise, I would definitelly serve a big salad (with no meat, fish or fowl) and you can check out some great recipes for Spanish salads on This Site

You might also want to put out a platter of Spanish Cheeses with a basket full of sliced baguettes or crackers, and a bowl full of Spanish olives and/or Pickled Vegetables and pickled garlic and/or marinated mushrooms.

My aunt, who is of Spanish origin, has never thrown a party without serving empanadas. They are kind of like savory turnovers that can be stuffed with just about anything, but my aunt always makes one stuffed with meat and the other one stuffed with something suitable for vegetarians (cheese and spinach, or potato, or mushroom etc.) Here is a recipe for empanadas Stuffed with Lentils and Mushrooms I don’t know where you live, but my aunt has also ordered and picked up empanadas from her favorite Spanish restaurant when she didn’t have time to make them herself.

I hope you end up having a great time and that this stress won’t dissuade you from having more parties : )

@nikipedia Yes, I tried that once years back, not sure if I wrote it on this Q, and it was a smallish party. Anyway, when people asked I told them you don’t have to bring anything. If they insisted, I told them what to bring. Only two people were bring spmething. One some beer, and other a cake. I cooked accordingly, and those two very people wound up unable to male it last mnute and I felt short on food and beverage. Not matter what people say they are bringing I feel I need to make sure I have enough. When it is pot luck and everyone brings there is usually a ton of food, and that is never a problem.

I have told people the basic theme of the party and to bring an appetizer, beverage or dessert if they like. It does not mean they would have to bring something Spanish, but something that makes sense. If they name something I don’t like, then what do I say, no don’t bring that. I mean really any appetizer is fine they could bring just potato chips and it would be fine. @dutchess is commenting on me not wanting her baked beans, but that is because it is a side dish, and I gave a choice of three, appetizer, drink, or dessert. Anything that qualifies as those is fine, it can be a can of nuts.

So, when I told the one friend what I was already having including flan for dessert, she decided to bring on too. Huh? That totally confuses me. Any dessert would be fine literally anything, but why the same as I am making? If she was making the flan, and I make somethingg else, totally fine too. But, I really want there to be a flan, so in the possibility she doesn’t come, which is unlikely, but still if it happens, I still need to make mine. I don’t feel like I can tell someone bring a chocolate cake, they should have room to make or buy something that they enjoy making or eating.

Wow. Ya. Stressful! Hey…my beans have so much brown sugar in them they could qualify for a dessert, hey!

To answer your ”@poisonedantidote” question, once the paella is cooked you turn the heat off, and just let it sit in the pan. If you keep it on a low heat, I don’t know what would happen. but it would not be good. The rice at the bottom will probably burn or something.

Once the paella is cooked, heat off.

@Kardamom we already have vegetarian selections not to worry.

I had to look up Paella because I had no idea what it is. Is yours going to look like this?

Mine is more colorful. I’ll have to remember to take a picture. Yellow rice, sausage, chicken, shrimp roasted red peppers and peas. So the red peppers and the peas kind of make it more appetizing in my opinion.

Don’t sweat it. Your friends all have the internet, and can look up paella if they don’t understand what it is.

I’d serve sangria, a tossed salad with a homemade red wine vinegarette, some really great crusty bread and lime sherbet with fresh raspberries for dessert. Appetizers should be things like crackers with goat cheese and cucumbers, olives, different cheeses, different cheeses with plain crackers.

It’s a meal in itself so you don’t need a lot of extra stuff.

JL I read the first few answers, but then I stopped and just thought I would respond. I LOVE Paella so if you invited me, I would be there with bells on. I have also stolen @poisonedantidote‘s recipe and would love to get a copy of yours.

This is your party. You are the host and you have told them (because of that convo) that it is a paella party. If they don’t like it, they can eat salad (although what is there not to like about paella!!!). If they don’t know what paella is, they will learn and unless they have no taste, will love it or at least some of it.

Enjoy. They are really coming to see you and to accept your gracious hospitality, not just to eat your paella. That is just an added bonus.

Just make your paella (as you have before), add some tapas if you feel inclined, just go with your instinct and don’t over think it. Let us know how it goes. ... oh and send me that recipe. Buena suerte.

Everyone here who said once I started to panic I should have just changed the menu is right. I felt I couldn’t because everyone who insisted on bringing something had already been told what I was preparing. Now, already, the night before, one person wrote me an email, I just saw it, she won’t be bringing what she said because her husband vetoed the idea, and probably bring nothing as I initially said. But, I was planning on what she was bringing at this point. This is what I am talking about people. Even though I said it makes me nervous to rely on people to bring something I sort of did. I am going to post this on the other Q too.

Thanks for explaining that you were copying that post on the other question. I was reading it going..WAIT a second! I responded to that..where is it?!