How do you treat friends with major depression or other mental illness?

I go all the way…the biggest challenge I find is to not deviate from the pain they are experiencing in favor of yours or other challenges on your own plate. You are either all in to help a friend in need or if that can’t be done you are not doing them any favors by patronizing their issues for the moment that is most convenient to you.

I do what I can. Offering advice. Listening. Not necessarily in that order. Putting up friends in need of a place to stay. I have a lot of restrictions, so I can’t do as much as I want to without making my wife very uncomfortable.

My friend has depression and the best thing i can possibly do is just be there and listen. Whenever she feels down, I am there. Sometimes I will just go over to sit with her so she can talk. People like this are unstable and wallow in sadness. They need to be aware all the time that their life is important and they are surrounded by people that care for them. I seem to as well attract people who are needy and in need of a friend. I am usually a very compassionate person and I always want to make someone feel great about themselves and their life. You can’t go halfway with these things as @Cruiser said. You need to be able to help them through their issues to the best of their ability. You cannot “kind of” be there for them.

If a friend of mine is going through a depression I would certainly be there for them. But, I would not be willing to surround myself with people who are always depressed and down or having fairly severe mental illness. You become your environment usually, and surrounding yourself with mentally unstable people in your relatiomships most likely will be very draining. It depends on the mental illness of course.

@JLeslie

My sentiments exactly.

@JLeslie – Yes. I learned the “you become you environment” part of your answer the hard way, but to be fair, I had no choice at the time in who I had to live with.

The Law of Attraction @hawaii_jake. I have gone on a journey seeking the horizon to help someone I loved who wanted help. It was exhausting, both mentally and physically, and worth every second. I have also stood my ground and not budged an inch to help someone I loved who didn’t want help. I cannot jeopardize my own sanity for anyone though. To me, the operative word is help. To assist someone who is willing to help themself.

As a person who suffered with depression myself my throughout my life i had friends that were there for me and family. And I would do the same for a friend who was going through it also.

I have friends, have had relatives who suffer/suffered with mental illness and I come into contact with people who are suffering with mental health issues in my work.

I will help as much as I can by being supportive and caring and offering physical help if appropriate and where I can. At work, this might mean allowing extra time to complete work and following up more if I know the person is having a problem. I try to be empathic too. As with any illness, I think it is important to be helpful and caring without being intrusive. It isn’t my place to tell people how they should manage their illness or to presume I know what is best for them. Equally, I can only do so much. It can be incredibly draining and frightening to be around someone with mental health problems.

I do think we need to be more supportive of those who are caregivers or who live with people with mental illness. A very close relative of mine was suicidal at a time when I was very young and had very young children and I was ill-equipped to manage the situation but there was nowhere I could go for help and I was their only support person. It was incredibly stressful and frightening. I think this has improved but I would be surprised if it has improved significantly. If we take care of those who are giving care and offering support, we help the person battling with mental illness too.

Here in Australia, there is a big push for more funding to be spent on mental health too. This is a huge improvement and I hope some of it will go in raising awareness and minimising the stigma that is still attached to suffering from a mental illness.

Personally, I try to keep in mind the phrase “there but for the grace of god, go I”. I do not believe in god, but I do believe I, like anyone else, could find myself suffering from a mental illness and I have experienced depression. It is the 21st century disease and those suffering with mental health issues deserve the same care and support as anyone with a physical health problem.

@mcsnazzy…I should have more friends like you…

Besides referring them to professionals…
I consider my roll one of listening, asking for clarifications and getting them to a place where they feel understood. If it would be appreciated, I offer suggestions from my experience or from the experiences of others I’ve heard of.

@hawaii_jake I don’t know if you feel the same way but for me, I’m interested in psychology from an amateur/hobbyist perspective. In the absence of professionals I suppose we seem like the right sort of people to turn to. Often people don’t go to a professional because of the stigma attached to it. But going to some shrink-like friend.. well, that’s not as bad I guess.

One of the best ways I’ve found to help people rethink the roll of professional psychology is to realize that the availability to see a professional is truly a luxury of our day and age. Many people don’t seem to understand how great of a feature it is to have people who research and study thoughts and behaviors in the way that they do. “Go as soon as you can. Thank me later.” Is the kind of admonishment I would give them.

The best thing to do for us is to remain supportive and point out potential resources that can help us get better. Getting too involved can make things dramatically worse (my mother can’t get that through her skull).

Your friend needs you support don’t leave them alone at this point of time.