Is living in a house for no charge,instead of getting cash for child support a good idea? Or even legal? Or have I messed up my kid's life?

So move out and take child support instead. Your exhusband sounds very controlling, and as long as you are financially dependent he can control you. Don’t get me wrong, I know he should take care of his financial responsibilities to his children, but it sou ds like you need hos money more like alimony to live. I am not judging you, right now I am not working and if I divorced I would have to get my act together and get back to work and start supporting myself. But, I do know money is power and independence, and you will feel better if you are not dependent on him so much.

That he called your daughter a slut is awful, he said it because she got her nose pierced?And your is too? So then he was attracted to and married a whore? Just awful his temper. Sounds like a bunch of mach bullshit.

Get some legal papers on this so he can’t threaten you. You can threaten to sue him for the child support he’s not paying.

In a normal circumstance where the ex is not an ass I would think it fine to take a free place to live instead of the money. It would be a win win for everyone.

This man sounds emotionally abusive and he is using his ownership of this house to control you and your children. I would move out. I don’t know what the child support laws are where you are, but here, you can put the collection and the setting of the amount in the hands of the child support agency. Can you find somewhere else to live? Are you entitled to any government support while you get settled? Can you get a job or do you work? Time to break his ties on you and become independent.

It sounds like your husband is using this living situation as a means of controlling you and your children. To put it mildly, this is not acceptable behavior on the part of your husband. For your sake and for the emotional health of your children, I highly suggest you and your kids leave now before any more damage is done. No house is worth this kind of abuse!

You should get some legal advice ASAP to find out what your rights are and to help you get a child support order. And I highly recommend some counseling for you and your kids, due to the emotional hell this bastard is putting you through. I wish you luck.

@Needagoodfriend You need far more than a good friend, you need a good lawyer/counselor. Do not continue to live in that environment. Get yourself to the courthouse and get a proper child support order.

You need to speak to a lawyer tomorrow. Do not delay. Contact Legal Aid or whatever similar organization exists in your area. Your ex-husband’s legal position is probably not very good. At the very least it’s unlikely that he can legally “evict” you.
Do it tomorrow.

Will the child support be enough for you to pay rent?

@JLeslie It’s probably not possible to know for sure until after a lawyer has been consulted and the parties have gone to court and so forth.

@koanhead There must already be a court order for child support. They are divorced.

@JLeslie I’m sorry, I misunderstood your meaning.
I’m afraid that it will probably be necessary for them to go back to court though, given her account of the ex’s attitude. ☺

I didn’t read all of that hemywemy. People who are broke always go out and pay to have their bodies mutilated.

You can make that deal with him if you want, but go to family court and get a court order to that effect so that your ex can’t evict you everytime he doesn’t like how you live. If you do not do this and the IRS gets wind of it, you might be forced to pay income tax on the market rent of the house. Get paperwork to support everything you do with your ex and have it sanctioned by a family court judge.

I think even with court she risks him not living up to his end. She needs to think in terms of supporting herself. Having teenage children makes that very very hard. They will be very annoyed with living at a lower standard, but I have friends who have done it. The teens should get jobs if they don’t have one already for their own spending money. I can’t imagine the kids won’t be happy their mom can get away from the abuse of her ex. Plus, the children will be 18 soon enough and all support will stop.

Don’t think of it as a mistake having moved in. There was a trade off, and you can always change it, you can move out. Don’t agonize over the past decision, I know it is hard not to. But, doing it might be paralyzing, you just need to move forward and do the next thing you think will be best.

Get it in writing and filed in a court of law. Period. End of story.