I don't like to ask personal questions at work unless the person offers to talk about personal stuff is that weird ?

No, it’s not weird. I feel the same way. As an introvert, I tend to compartmentalize my work life and private life, so I assume others must do the same. I don’t often ask people about their weekend activities because that might be crossing some personal boundaries.

Also, I’ve noticed that even if I do ask, the other person isn’t willing to have a true give-and-take interaction. They tell me all about what they’ve done, but they never ask what I’ve been up to. I’m not really interested in a one way conversation. It’s a waste of time for me and the person talking to me. So now I don’t initiate those conversations as much as I used to (though I will respond in a friendly manner if somebody seeks me out).

It’s not weird but do you think there’s a chance you’re reading more interest into a common greeting and short inquiry than is intended. Usually people respond by saying their weekend was lovely and asking the other person how their’s went. The whole exchange is supposed to be brief, pleasant and not too much in depth. It’s beginning of the week icebreaker stuff.

Where I work, we ask each other about how the weekends went because we care about each other. Some of my colleagues have children (I have a niece and nephew) and it is interesting (to me at least) to actually hear how my colleagues weekends/vacations, etc. were. I hope they got the break from work that they needed and are well rested and ready to go. I often learn about new restaurants to try and movies to see that I might have otherwise missed. Often the stories of time away from work are funny and getting to know each other better as human beings makes the work place more enjoyable.

I wouldn’t say that we are all particularly close, but we work in a field where we are often under-appreciated so we extend an extra bit of kindness toward each other.

What you tell doesn’t have to be personal, but can be something community oriented. When they ask how your weekend was, you can respond with “found a really great new coffee shop on 5th street, they have awesome bacon donuts.” Or “Went to see Green Lantern” what a great movie.” Or “Read an interesting article about rock formations in this area. Did you know…”

I think that when people ask “How was your weekend?” they are really just saying hello. When people ask me that at work I always just say “Good. And You?” and then I move on with my day. I don’t think that people really want to know all about my weekend, I know that I really don’t care about theirs. It is sort of like saying “Howdy?”. They simply want you to acknowledge their existence with a harmless greeting ritual. No big deal.

I’m a fairly outgoing person and when I get to work, I will usually say “hi, how are you? Did you have a good weekend” type thing and I genuinely do care about the answers to those questions. I work with my team all day, five days a week, so I do want to know how their lives are going. I don’t consider those to be ‘personal’ questions and I don’t want them to tell me anything they aren’t comfortable with. It is just about connecting in.

However, I used to work with a lady who actually told us very directly “please don’t ask me how I am when you arrive, it annoys me”. Felt quite strange to me (and others to be honest) and after that if I slipped up, I felt uncomfortable and as if I had intruded upon her life in some way. I do know that wasn’t her intention though. She just liked to get to work, bury her head in her computer and she didn’t want to be light and fluffy when she first arrived. It was her right to say she wasn’t comfortable with talking to us when she arrived at work, and I would prefer she did that than sit there feeling irritated.

So, is it weird… no. We are all individuals and while it may not be my thing, you certainly are not alone in not wanting to answer general questions about your life outside work.