Worried about college... how will I fit in?

Remember that everyone is new and odd at college. There will be a huge diversity of personality types there. I don’t doubt that you will find your niche. Don’t change, it takes too much work and is impossible to maintain with any credibility. And really, do you honestly think you’ll be happier hanging with the kind of people you wouldn’t normally choose?

College is awesome! Will you be living in a dorm? All the Freshman are usually in the same dorms, so everyone is new. Is it a big school? People from all over the country and international students also?

Don’t worry. You will find friends who have similar interests to you. Just get involved in activities outside of class…

Reach out to who your roommate is prior to starting school, and get to know them. Don’t describe yourself as odd; if you label yourself before people get a chance to meet you and form their own opinions, you put yourself behind the 8-ball. When my daughter went through freshman orientation, they offered the advice that it’s better if you don’t live with a best friend, because living together with someone in a small room is difficult, and it’s easier if you can complain about your roommate to someone else, or have a place to go to get away from them. Sometimes the roommate situation works out wonderfully, but it’s best to go into it not expecting the person to be your best friend.

Campuses are made up of all types of people, and you will find people who are like you, or find your interests similar to theirs. The thing that’s great about campuses is that being involved pretty much starts with showing up and saying, “I’m__and I would really like the the chance to be able to___. How can I do that?” Because you’ve lived in Japan, you may want to look at volunteering with the International Studies Center, because it will put you in contact with students who are either from other countries or are interested in studying abroad. This will generally not be the fraternity/sorority crowd, but a more diverse student group.

The person you have been up until now has probably evolved in part from your high school experience. Going away to school offers a chance to set aside some of that persona if you want to do so. My daughter’s friends from college are nothing like her high school friends.

No matter how odd you think you are there will be people at college who are much much weirder. But also you’ll find there will be a load of people there that you have a lot in common with (you all decided to to college for a start).

I was just thinking about your words…change who you are here and now? What kind of college are you going to that you think you know how everyone is? I wound up at a school that was supposedly one of the biggest party schools in the country and I don’t drink, smoke, or toke. I also thought I was not sure I would fit in, but I had no troubles. It was no problem I didn’t drink. Also, almost all of my friends lived within a few hours of the college, but I was from a few states away, from the east coast, and went to school in the midwest. Still, basically no problem. Universities are places for students to be open minded, learn about new things and new people. Umless you are going to some small bible college in the bible belt, I think you will have no troubles. Unless you yourself are an evangelical Christian, then even that would not be a problem.

High school is so very very different from college. If you came back from living abroad to high school, I am sure that might have been a difficult transition, but college will be much better most likely. No one has their clique groups, everyone starts from scratch.

If you hate it you can transfer, don’t sweat it. It is an adventure! Something new.

Don’t try to change who you are! That never works.

I was worried about being the odd one out in college too, but there are friends for everyone there. The thing is, you can’t just sit back and wait for them to come to you. You have to seek them out, which means being very outgoing at the beginning of the year, even if you are shy. Good luck, I’m sure you’ll find it’s not anywhere near as scary as you think it is!

Have you chosen a college or colleges yet? Are you in a position to choose? Not every college is right for everyone. Some colleges may better for you than others, you may fit in better in one rather than another. I went to a college of misfits so I fit right in. :-)

Go with the flow.

Anything to receive that college degree.

I did not fit in at all at college. I’m extremely odd. I’ll be a senior next year and I laugh when people talk about “finding your niche”. Sometimes, there is no niche. That being said, I’ve had a great time. I have a couple good friends that I see one-on-one (I’m not a group person) but no social group or Greek society to base my social identity upon.

I’ve been involved in some clubs and have even started my own. Life is good. Sometimes you don’t fit in a niche and that’s totally fine too. It has given me the freedom to really explore other things and I’m not bound by the expectations of my peers in a social sense.

Ah, but @seekingwolf , what you just described is your niche.

You’ll do just fine. Float around, see what sticks. Carpe the diem. Join clubs that interest you, get involved, and study hard. And really, there is no glory in all-night anything if there’s something for you to learn the next day. I lost half of a perfectly good philosophy class that way.

College is great, in that you can discover in-depth and/or put a polish on who you are and what works for you. The pressure to conform is not nearly what it was in high school. (For one thing, you can get a much wider age range of classmates in college… said the 40-something student) Keep an open mind and take in as much as you can both within and outside class. It is probably a different lifestyle than what you might be used to, but it will be worth it! Good luck.