I would absolutely never take the time to befriend someone who ...

Was mean, belligerent, cruel or abusive (and I knew about it or noticed it directly).

I would absolutely never take the time to befriend someone who does not value good old-fashioned values and moral common sense, and who is so politically correct all the time that he or she lacks humor, fails to understand the point of view of others however different they are from theirs, and therefore is nothing but a piece of dead wood. lol

I don’t trust and respect.

…didn’t have any interest in being my friend or was a racist or a homophobe. Those are the big deal breakers but other than that I’m pretty open minded and at least willing to give people a shot. I have friends I would never in a million years be friends with if they weren’t my friends, if you know what I mean, but on the other hand, list of people I wouldn’t put the effort into becoming friends with could get pretty long. People who set kittens and puppies and baby fish on fire, people who knock down old people just to be mean, those people who come up behind you and push you in the back of your knees when you’re standing with your knees locked and make you lose your balance, people who can’t stop talking and going on and on about things you just plain don’t give a shit about…. I could go on… but I won’t

…is cruel to spatulas.

…ate children.

…ate spatulas.
or ate children with a spatula.

… people who cooked and ate children, turned gently with a spatula until they are lightly browned on both sides..

Saw the sensual side of a dog’s arsehole.

Takes one to know one I always say.

@lillycoyote I can handle that, but someone who eats a child and eats the spatula they cooked the child with afterwards… Ah, that’s just too much for me. We cannot be friends. Sowwwyy.

@Vunessuh You’re a little more open minded than I am I guess, but yeah, the spatula eating, that’s just plain sick.

What if they made a spatula out of a child? You could scoop up a lot of Legos and Cheerios with one of ‘em.

^ That’s fucking gross. LOL.

@Kardamom are you saying the spatula is made out of… never mind, that’s even too sick for my sick mind, oh what the hell, pre-eaten child? Regurgitated spatula? I need to go to bed before this goes from being a sick joke to something I dream about tonight. Either way, I have now secured myself a non-refundable, one-way ticket straight to hell.

It’s amazing how quickly Zen completely lost control of this thread. I bet it’s even making his head spin.

…has social gatherings like this. Ok, I may try to talk to them ..but it would most likely go nowhere.

I neither have control of a thread, nor lose it. I am at one with fluther.

@zen is so zenny and/or zennish or not. I love that about him.

Is a zombie named anything other than Clive.

…prefers the prequels over the original Star Wars trilogy.

who was 6 feet underground. Don’t get me wrong, I am sure they are wonderful. Sadly its a bit late.

peed in my pool

@blueiiznh Would you be friends with someone who peed in my pool, this is purely hypothetical, if I had one that is? Would you be friends with someone who peed in my pool as long as they didn’t pee in your pool? You wouldn’t be friends with someone who peed in your pool but if the same person peed in my pool that would be o.k.? Where do you stand on this? Is it just about you and your pool?

@lillycoyote Time to switch to herbal tea, dear.

@lillycoyote
To pee, or not to pee: that is the question:
Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous pool accidents,
Or to take arms against a pee of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The backwashing and the thousand chlorine shocks
That urine is heir to, ‘tis a constipation
...............
.....

@blueiiznh Really, it was not me that peed in your pool. It wasn’t!

I wouldn’t befriend anyone that ate the last M&M out of my package.

Doesn’t enjoy Pokemon, and Blues Clues…

Who is abusive to women, children and animals.
Who verbally belittles people.
Who can’t keep a secret.

…...doesn’t have boobies.

disliked animals to the point of deliberately harming them. I once knew someone who thought it was absolutely fine to kick a dog because it was barking, when I asked him why he thought that was ok he just shrugged and said “I hate dogs”. Bastard.

Who was abusive
Whom I thought was a rapist
Hated cats and people who own cats
Held “traditional” values (see: bigotry)
Couldn’t respect it when I said “no” – to sex, to going hiking with them, to trying pate, to wearing flannel, whatever.
Constantly made fun of me for stupid shit (and not in a friendly, jesting way, but in a mean way)
I didn’t actually enjoy spending time around

…is an asshole
That’s pretty much all encompassing.

…was a kid in the 1970’s when the first Star Wars movie came out and still end up liking the terrible Star Wars prequel. Lol. ( that should be declared illegal )

…is racist or bigoted.
...is physically or verbally abusive.
...chain smokes.
...doesn’t like chocolate chip cookies.

Is narrow minded. I seriously do not get along with those type of people.
Is disrepectful to me and others.
Thinks too much of themself.

Had abused children, elderlies or animals.

Finds other people’s emotional pain to be exhilaratingly entertaining, especially if it was created by them.

(I like Jackass and AFV so I can’t say physical pain…)

seemed incorrigible.. although, by the time I came to that opinion, it would likely be too late. :(

…is a neo Nazi.

I would absolutely never take the time to befriend someone who… picks my nose.

…scratches “FAG” in huge letters on my car window.

Who calls people with autism “Retard”. >:(

… who is a neo-Nazi or a racist or supports gender apartheid.

Who doesn’t lurve the big guy ^.