Should I go to dinner on a first, blind date?

Wow! You’re brave!.......but for a first meeting, why not limit it to a drink, or coffee, in a public, crowded place…..oh, and arrange with a friend to call you at 7.00 – just in case.

“Kind of think not” says it all. Have a drink or a latte….wildflower beat me by a second. Dates are supposed to be fun and not about “getting through” anything.

wildflower: I have my friend call me at a certain time when I meet someone too. If I hang out with a new person, I tell her to call me and just ask a secret question and I give her my secret answer to let her know if it’s going good or a different answer if not, and if not she says she needs me so I can get an excuse to leave. But only if the dates a dud.

Yea, just hang out for a little bit the first time. Especially if you’ve never met this guy before. You might want to leave sooner than you originally thought, and if you’re having dinner you have to wait til it’s over.

no. go to drinks or tapas. that way you can skate early if it’s not going well.

go with a group! Tell him to invite a friend and you too.

A little late with the question. My experience – coffee or drinks.

The ‘have a friend call” idea is a good one, and Allie ‘s suggestion of having a code question is perfect. Ask a friend to be close by, and if he turns out to be a creep, have you friend ‘show up” at your table unexpectantly. If she is a good actress, ask her to act as if she is really upset and needs you right now. maybe she is out to have some drinks because her boyfriend just dumped her or something like that.

I met my SO online and it worked out fine, but my case is rather unusual. Our first date lasted 13 days. but I talked to him online and on the phone for over a year before I met him. He wanted to visit Florida where I lived but didn’t want to make the trip alone. I flew to New Jersey and he had a limo pick me up at the airport while he was picking up a rented motor home. I got out of the limo and into the motor home, and we headed back to Florida. I was very fortunate. I’ve been with him for 6 years now. I am one of the lucky ones, and I don’t advise anyone doing what I did. It was a stupid and risky thing to do.

Be very careful, and stay in public with this guy. Don’t let him know where you live until you are sure he is ok. Good luck! I hope you have a great time.

Yeah, dinner on a first date is a bit much, I think. Grab a drink. Or grab coffee and go for a “walk n’ talk”.

..Oh, and we (guys) are hip to the “secret phone call” tactic. We generally don’t begrudge you it, but just know that WE know.

OH NO! Just a drink! If you don’t like him, you are stuck! Also, he’ll probably pay and I always feel that is awkward to have a guy you don’t know pay for you when you don’t even like him!
If you do like him, you can always go out again… or even order food while you are out.
I never go to dinner ion a first blind date.

damn GD_Kimble….you mean our secret’s out?

Ha ha!! Of course they know! They do it too. Or I should say some do.

Come to think of it…..last time I was dating I’d recently bought my first mobile (I wasn’t an early adopter, but still…) that’s frightening.

hmm, did you use.. “the plan”??

meh, wasn’t necessary. Where I come from everyone knows everyone…..getting privacy was harder than making sure people were around….although later in bigger places, always kept friends ‘in the vicinity’ ;)

Now I have the theme song for Cheers in my head…“Where everybody knows your name”... But it’s true, there is safety in numbers. Keeping friends close by is a great idea.

Go for a drink, group is not necessary unless you feel unsafe. Just my opinion

Do something fun/casual with other people around.

Okay, against all advice, I did go to dinner, but it went really well. He was very interesting. At the end, he hugged me goodnight. I’m not sure what that means. Any thoughts?

Did YOU like him? Were YOU attracted to him? Can you do a security check on HIM before second date? A hug can mean anything you want – even “thanks for using deoderant and cologne.” I wonder how much help this forum can offer. Glad that it went really well.

I’m glad you had a good time, and even more glad that you are safe. Just continue to be careful and don’t let your guard down just yet. Don’t forget, Ted Bundy SEEMED like a real nice guy. Good luck, and stay safe!!

I would go with something which might make you feel more at ease, like the cinema- You don’t have to talk (just incase of uncomfortable silences) or go for a drink, much more casual, lighting isn’t as bright! and erm… u can drink!

You can feel a great connection on the phone and net and then in real life its all different. It takes 10 seconds to decide if you like someone visually anyway. Then a coffee can race by or reallly drag..trust me.

‘He hugged me goodnight…’ You are over-analyzing! I would have humped your leg for ten minutes while pretending to talk on the phone.