What should I do if the girl I like is in a relationship with another guy?

It’s like wanting a video game but having no money to make the purchase. Sometimes we want things we just can’t have. On the bright side, relationships at your age are fleeting and she WILL be single again. You just have to be patient.

Welcome to Fluther!

It sounds like she has already conveyed how she feels about you (for now). Why not just stick to being friends, or if you find it too painful, back away? Who knows what will happen in the future?

Stay friendly. Can’t have too many friends.
Find a girl who is available.

Its hard when the one we like, likes someone else. Give it time you are young and feelings change as you get older. You may even meet someone else this summer if you open up yourself to it and may surprise yourself and like her more than the girl you have a crush on currently.

Try to keep yourself busy so you can think about other things, and to find someone else. You wouldn’t like it if you were in the boyfriends place. And you don’t want a girl who would cheat with her boyfriend.

That is an excellent point flo. Thank you.

Here’s some more info: every time we talk, it seems we get closer and closer to each other. We talk about things with each other that we don’t talk to anyone else about. Does this matter? Does this mean anything?

@bosxfan57 I understand completely, but give yourself enough credit you can do it. It doesn’t matter. You would like yourself better later. You have to hide it from him, right? Make sure to have nothing to have to hide.

@flo Well, I don’t really know the guy she’s dating and he doesn’t know me. So I really don’t have to try to hard to keep it from him.

Sounds like she likes you. And for right now, you have to settle for being liked as a friend and not beating out some other guy’s time because he’s away. Some of that will happen anyways because you and your friend will be doing things all summer that her boyfriend will be left out of. You don’t really want her friends spreading gossip that isn’t true.

What’s going to happen is that over the summer, she’s going to change, and he’s going to change. Whether or not they will still be people the other is interested in when they get back together remains to be seen. Hard as it is, you just have to give it time.

@bosxfan57 you would know though, that is the thing. Your relashinship with yourself is more important.

You are absolutely right. I need to to what is best for me.

Wait. Either this relationship she’s in is going to last forever, in which case you will eventually give up and find someone else, or it won’t, in which case you’ll have your chance.

Don’t mess with her present relationship. She won’t thank you for that. Instead, be friendly and interested, but stay cool and don’t act like a jerk around her or the other guy.

@bosxfan57 Widen your horizens.

@flo I’ll do my best. Thanks for all the advice.

You read a book, and wait for the next girl.

Go Sox!

Be casual friends with her for now. Try extremely hard not to let your feelings for her go over the line. Don’t ever slip up and be lovey-dovey, don’t get touchy feely with her act jealous or try to get her to be more interested in you than she currently is. Do not text her after 9:00 pm at night (or call her or e-mail her) and when you do contact her, keep it casual and short and try to refrain from discussing how you feel about her. You can and probably should ask her if she is exclusive with her boyfriend and what her plans are with him when he gets back.

She is likely to say that she is exclusive with him and that they plan to continue to date when she gets back. If that is the case, just let her be, but you could let her know that if anything changes in the future, you would be interested in dating her, but not unless or until she is broken up, and that you have no desire to interfere with their relationship. Then don’t interfere! That means, be casual friends, but avoid talking about deeply personal things with her, because if you do, she might become very attached to you and either cheat on her boyfriend, or feel torn between the two of you. Don’t put her in that position.

And don’t put her boyfriend in that position too. It’s very uncool. If they end up breaking up, over the summer or when he comes back, give her a little time and then let her know that you are still interested (if you still are by then) but don’t stop getting to know other girls that may be of interest to you, give them a chance.

Be one of the good guys and don’t end up being one of these douche-bags that a lot of young women have to endure as their very first boyfriend. You have no idea how many hours us jellies have spent trying to console those people. You’ll be doing some lucky lady a huge favor!

Wow, thank you so much for that. I know none of you know me and I know I don’t know any of you, but you are all helping immensely with my situation. Thank you. I really appreciate it.

Either stay a friend or put some distance in between yourself and her, if you decide to try go be a home wrecker, don’t expect a happy ending.

Oh go get another one. While your still calling them girls they’re pals and fascinations, get to know both of those sides. The more girls you get to know the better off you’ll be when you are calling them women.

Find another girl. There are lots of them, and poaching is considered to be in poor taste.

Two months is not a long time. The girl is in a relationship, so it’s best that you just maintain a neutral relationship with her, as platonic friends. In the meantime, look for someone else who is available. You’re young and there are plenty of fish in the sea. Don’t fish for someone who already has a boyfriend. Otherwise you’ll find yourself in shark-infested waters. :)

You’re kind of young still. More girls will come your way. Don’t interfere with her present relationship. You should keep your distance from her so it won’t hurt you if she’s happy or became obssed with her.

What do you do? Seriously? You go shoot some hoops, skate in the park, take in some movies, go camping, Frisbee the dog, play some video games, go live life. By the time Christmas comes about there will be another and maybe she will like you in return. It is not like you are this girl are going to settle in and be buying groceries five years from now. Why go looking for troubles when you should be enjoying your teen years while you have them. Is you don’t get her it is not that important; life will go on.

If she REALLY liked you she would break up with her boyfriend. You are in the friend zone for now. Like Hypocrisy said.. go do some fun things this summer and not worry about girls.