Should bands hired for events (weddings, bar/bat mitzvahs, graduations, etc) play what they want, or what the person hiring wants?

I’d want them to play mostly what I want, but I’d let them have 3 or so songs to rock out.

It’s to be hoped that the band and you have would have enough of a similar vibe that the mix of tastes wouldn’t be a problem.

Bands are hired based upon the play list they already have and know. That’s what’s been rehearsed. They should not be hired unless their play list has been reviewed and approved. They should not be expected to play anything which is not on their play list.

It’s like complaining there’s no Jimmy Hendrix on a Neil Diamond album.

This is something the band and wedding couple should work out beforehand. In most cases, wedding bands have a set list and they’ll share that with the couple. More often than not, the couple will have specific songs they absolutely don’t want, and they just leave the rest up to the band.

They should play what you want them to play, and like it.

That’s what DJ’s are for. Bands have to rehearse.

I suppose it depends. If a band has hired itself out to play weddings, bar/bat mitzvahs, graduations, etc. it should play what the people who hired them to play want them to play. Duh! That’s what wedding, bar/bat mitzvahs band do. That is the nature of the gig. On the other hand, if someone has hired a band, and these are probably people with money, because they like the specific band, like what the band does, then they should expect the band to be what it is and play what it plays. If you want something in the middle, something between a wedding band and your local cutting edge garage band, if you want your area cutting edge band to also play Reunited you that needs to be worked out in advance. But bottom line, it is up to the person hiring the band to be clear, up front, in advance about what exactly the job requirements are, just like when you hire anyone to do anything, I think. If the band can’t meet the job requirements hire someone else.

If the band isn’t playing music you like you’ve hired the wrong band.

@GladysMensch is exactly right – you should look at the band’s playlist first and hire them based on that. You can’t expect them to play a new track on the whim of the person hiring them; they would need to learn and rehearse it before they’d be able to play it in public.

From being the manager of four different rock bands, here is the procedure I used, when booking my band. Generally, the person booking a band already knows the type music we played. They either heard us in person or someone told them about us and the music we played. We never had a problem.

On several occasions, we were asked to play certain songs for a special event and we did so.

Listen to the song Garden Party, by Ricky Nelson. It answers a lot of your question.

If I’m hiring a band with an established musical reputation and repetoire then I’m letting them do their thing or else I’ll hire an on-demand events band and work out a playlist.