If you came with an instruction label, what would it say?
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I can’t make it out.It has too many typos.
Delicate Fabric
Hand Wash Only
Gentle setting, dry flat in the open air and sunshine, some wrinkles are to be expected.
Gentle cycle, do not wring out, handle with love.
Warning! Will bite if provoked.
Prone to lots of free association, give it space, and be patient when it goes off on nonlinear jags. Performance based on how much fun you make the job and unplug it at the end of the day, the batteries are super charged already.
Must have 10— 12 hours of downtime.
Open with care.
Store in a mild place with lots of love and fun times.
Warning: May explode if exposed to high levels of stupidness.
@queenie
“May explode if exposed to high levels of stupidness…”—LOL
Fun question! : )
“Never feed after midnight.”
“Handle roughly. Jerk inside.”
“Brains and batteries not included.”
“Horny when wet.”
Warning: does not come with instructions.
Requires no additional parts or accessories, but functions best with regular supplies of bacon.
@queenie Between crispy and floppy.
Add coffee to that.
100 per cent lurve this question.
Mine might say caution: furry, loveable ticklish bear cub becomes wild and crazy when disturbed. Approach with caution and honey.
Warning!:
The Surgeon General has determined that playing with Real Lies may be harmful to yourself and others around you. Handle with caution and limited exposure. If symptoms persist for longer than 48 hours, fuck off.
Warning, may cause psychological trauma.
May contain traces of nuts.
store in a cool dry place
Caution: This is not a toy.
Warning: Could Be Trouble
(Oh, this is such a lie!)
Please devote at least eight hours to sleep, before operating machinary, after playing with Saydah. ;)
Important: Keep warm. Do not expose to temperatures below 55F
Do not let stay up past midnight. Do not use incorrect forms of “your” or “there” in her presence.
“Do not operate when drowsy.”
I change mine to “Don’t call us. We’ll call you”.
Keep in a warm, dry place or will turn blue and hair will frizz.
Subject to change
Apply within, experience required, intuition manadatory
Prone to interpretation
CAUTION: Will cause head to spin
Known Risks: Drives people insane, but gets them there safely.
FRAGILE- handle with care.
Requires constant maintenance.
Do not agitate.
No ironing, wrinkles are permanent.
Insert chocolate, hope for the best.
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