What was your longest fart/burp ever?
I’m only asking because lately I’ve heard/seen some really bizarre stories that I just wonder if that’s possible.
I mean, one thing is to be gassy and let go a really big one. And that’s usually one event. But I heard the record was like 2 minutes. How the hell would you even get past five or so seconds? You’d have to have had some serious bloating going on or something. Of course, I can’t speak for people who are lactose intolerant or pregnant women or people with other conditions where it might be humanly possible to do so.
Also, specify if you’re a guy or girl and if you ate anything unusual/or too much of something at the time.
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17 Answers
And the winner of the intellectual achievement award goes to…...
By the time I scramble to get my stop watch, the whole event is over.
I have to admit I have produced some prolonged and somewhat musical farts. I never thought to time them. It is not an accomplishment that requires much skill or intelligence.
What I want to know, is why was this question recommended for me :-D…. Never timed either a burp or a fart…
Is this “fart/burp” of yours a simultaneous activity? I’m not sure I’ve ever witnessed them happening together before. Sounds suicidal.
This is actually a very funny/traumatic story for me. I was on the 8th grade wrestling team and the entire team was seated all around the coach and the star wrestler as he described techniques. I was sitting on a metal folding chair and felt this massive gas bubble in my gut. Thinking I could just let it silently slip out I leaned over to my right….to my horror this massive loud ripper (amplified further by the metal seat) shattered the silence in the room and chaos ensued as the entire team scrambled screaming and laughing for the exits all looking and pointing at a very embarrassed Cruiser! Oh man…no wonder I have issues!! XD
Lol@cruiser… bet they didn’t want to get too close to that part of your anatomy in wrestling bouts after that!! Might have worked in your favour.
I’m quite surprised that some WWF Hooligan hasn’t adopted that identity in the stage ring.
“Ladies and Gentlemen… In this corner, The STINKLERRR!!!!! (pick your own rasberry)
Well he’s a better man than I to share such personal history. I cannot share my naked truths so easily. I just hope his school colors were on the darker side.
My most prodigious fart was after being pumped full of air as part of a sigmoidoscopy. Loud loud loud, and long, it felt endless and I am sure every patient in the doctor’s office heard it. And every time I moved around getting dressed another one came down the pipes. That went on for half an hour.
Er, hmm. I’m not sure I have any epic fart stories. I haven’t had any burps or farts last much longer than a few seconds, although some morning farts I have often sound like a Viking battle horn.
@Cruiser…
The mark of a true warrior. :)
I believe it’s offically recorded that if a fart exceeds 8 seconds in length, the resulting “follow through” disqualifies the fart. By definition it’s now morphed into a small shite! ;¬}
When my brother farts, he says “Done” after. This is usually a couple seconds after I stop hearing it, meaning the end is silent. :)
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