How would you convince an angry 9 year old boy not to run away after finding out his parents are separating?

Nine year olds are old enough to comprehend pretty serious stuff. He wants to run away because he’s afraid and unsure of how to cope with such a scary situation, but pacifying him is not the way to go. His parents should sit down with him and explain that they will both be there to talk to him about anything that he needs to talk about, and you should offer to do the same. He should hear that things are going to be different, but that doesn’t mean that things will be bad. He needs to be reminded that he is the most important person in this situation, and everyone will be looking out for his best interest. It’s okay to be scared and upset, and it is okay to cry.. but running away won’t solve anything. It also won’t change his parents’ decision, which may be the outcome he is hoping for, and acting out of desperation.

Let him go and help him. And love him. He won’t go far.

Is the friend asking you to talk to their son? If so, it seems like the best tactic would be to talk to the child as if they were an adult. Start with, “Okay, let’s think through this together.” Ask the Who?, What? When? Where, Why? and How? questions in order to help them formulate a strategy. Any child of that age is bound to come to the conclusion that they are better off staying home.

In my family, they always come to grandma that’s me. That’s what we did when I was growing up, too. Each of the three of us spent at least one summer with one of our grandmothers, and I lived with an Aunt & Uncle one year.

Many children believe they would be happier someplace else.

It’s hard to explain .. it depends on the reasoning and how well the kid can understand what he is being told.
This is just an act to make the family stay together but in time he’ll see that separation isn’t that bad.

Poor kid. Are the parents moving away from where they are right now and the boy will lose his school and his friends as he’s known them?

I’d just try and talk to him about how he will need to talk to his parents more than before about what he needs, what’s important to him, what he wants and why he wants it. I’d ask him to be patient because his parents are going to show a side of hurt in themselves they might normally keep to themselves, that they might not be right or wrong but it will be hard to watch. Remind him he’s still loved even in disorder.

If you are friends with the parents then I hope you can as politely as possible suggest they be as amicable and affording to their kid as they can. Not in the giving in way at all though. It takes a bigger person to put their kids a close second to their own need of divorce than to throw in to selfishness and get as far away at any cost as possible to “start over”.

I would tell him that running away isn’t going to change anything. Even if he disappeared for his whole life, his parents are not going to decide they have feelings for each other because he is not the cause of the break up and they are not doing it to punish him. They wish they could stay together to keep him happy but in the end it will only make them extemely sad and angry if they stayed together. Seperate they can each reclaim some sense of happiness and try there best to make him happy.
I hope the parents are doing what they can to be friendly with each other and make it easy for him. I think in seperations, kids find it difficult because they love both parents and don’t want to chose sides or listen to one parent bashing another. I hope they are both being adult about it.
If not than it would explain him wanting to leave.