How do you think you would fare after a pandemic or the apocalypse?

I get sick too easily and am shrimpy and uncoordinated and utterly useless in a fight. I’d be one of the first to go. Unless I could hang out with you, @Fiddle, @incendiary_dan, and @Symbeline. :P

@Mariah I would take care of youuuu! Hahaha, geez. You talk about us like we’re a gang of zombie hunters..

Oh wait, we are.

I’d just keep a gun and lots of ammunition with me.
Disease, well, it depends on what kind. I’m fine with stomach bugs, as I never get them, but other things like poor hygiene may affect me.
Skills: Boxing. Screaming. My Swiss Army knife…

@jailbait We’re talking about the kind of disease that can kill you very quickly if you’re not careful.

@KatetheGreat I’ll persuade some docs to look after me. If they refuse I’ll theaten to cough on them ;)

I’d unleash the full power of my masculinity, wooing any female zombies/marauders that darkened my path. In time I would command an army of Amazon-like warrioresses (is that a word?), bringing peace everywhere I traveled and siring many younglings in the process.

Dead in a month.

@FutureMemory Now that sounds like fun!

@Mariah I’d be more than happy to take care of you :-) I’m sure Dan, Kate, and Symbeline wouldn’t mind either.

As for myself, I think I would do alright. I’m armed to the teeth and I have enough ammo to keep me and a dozen other people fed, armed, and defended for at least 10 years. I know how to hunt and fish, I am well equipped with camping and survival gear, and I’ve spent a lot of time teaching myself survival skills. It’s kind of a hobby of mine. I’m probably not as skilled as @incendiary_dan, but I could probably keep up with him.

Lots of ammo and cash and I know how to properly dispose of the dead bodies. I would fare very well.

Assuming I’m not one of the first casualties, I’m going to go find Jean Auel in Oregon and follow her around. She knows all those caveman survival skills.

Did I say a month? Just give me vodka and I’d probably last a few more.

@mazingerz88 How you gonna get the vodka? :P

@jailbait Jeez, as if @KatetheGreat would deny me the pleasure of personal delivery.

@jailbait Once he hooks up with Symb I’m sure he’d have plenty :)

I’m with you, @Mariah – I’d join up with @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard, @KatetheGreat, @incendiary_dan and @Symbeline too. I don’t know much about survival, but I’m a quick learner.

@FutureMemory Not after I’ve visited her, he won’t :P

Did I mention I know how to distill spirits?

Anybody wanna do a human centipede hook-up? I mean it’s efficient.

If you say yes, could you indicate which jelly you prefer to connect with?

@mazingerz88 How about you and Symbo?

@mazingerz88 Don’t worry, I can make vodka on my own! We’ll have plenty!

@Seelix I’m pretty sure you’d make a fabulous member of the post-apocalyptic fighter team! :P

Depends. Are zombies involved?

@Rarebear Nope! Just menacing sociopaths!

@KatetheGreat Dang. Well, then I’d be toast. If zombies were involved it’s easy. I’d turn into a zombie.

Find Lucille, Freedie, and Cruser and hand out with them. I can shoot straight thanks to the USMC reserves, I can help guard the flanks.

I would gather my family in a family compound, and teach them how to become as self-sufficient as possible before I succumb to the lack of medication for my various medical conditions.

If it’s more than one marauder, which, c’mon, of course it would be. It’s NYC. I’d probably last an hour or two. I don’t think they’d let me escape, and my martial arts skills can only go so far.

When chaos reigns, the best thing to do in order not to be overwhelmed by it is to create order. I would team up with people who wanted to survive. We would have to be organized, set up regulations and go by them. In a world full of psychotic killers, I think the need to survive would be high enough so that our own group would not fall to dispute or betrayal. Hopefully we wouldn’t become savages ourselves…I can picture that, troops of people acting like Vikings. The best thing to do would be to find my group of people, good candidates in this thread…and we head off to some desolate place, and live as best we can.

Failing this, I’d go off on my own.

I just hope I die in the first round of destruction.

How is the current world any different from this question’s scenario though? XD

@Symbeline I’m thinking it would be on a more extreme level, though!

I was thinking that right now, we’re just more polite about it. XD

But yeah, your idea is a little scarier.

@Symbeline Pterodactyl Union, FTW

I’m wondering how we would all do if all of Fluther banded together after the apocalypse.

Interesting…

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Aye aye mate.

We are a faction, we are one.
Smite me, and I will crush you. Harm one, you harm us all. The blows you lend would have been best used to dig your own grave.
We are a mighty pillar, that which cannot fall. We are the mighty oak which shall not shatter in the storm. Together we create a land of peace and bounty, amidst the dead and the ashes, we are truth and hope. We fly high, and will not topple. Allies to the end, we invite you towards the light. But fuck with us, and we’ll crown you Prince of Hell.
We are the Pterodactyl Union!
Unite. Survive. Build the future.

…the Facebook intro I wrote just makes us look like heartless murderers though…XD

@Symbeline I just read that like it was a viking metal song. It was fantabulous.

@Symbeline That. Was. Beautiful.

Also, I’m kind of imagining a Team Rocket vibe here..

…if you can shave your legs and make them look as hot as mine, I’ll forgive you for saying that.

Ever see that episode where James is dressed like Officer Jenny?

WHY DO I KNOW ABOUT THIS

And thanks. :)

I’d probably go loner, I touch no one (except with a bullet or bolt or arrow and worse case scenario machete, crowbar, katana, etc.) and no one touches me, I am a rock, I am an iiiiiiiisland…

I’d join a Mad Max style gang and live out that fantasy I’ve had since I was a child.