(NSFW) Ladies, how do you deal when Aunt Flo is more of a sadist than usual?

Tylenol, yoga and I worship my Diva Cup which I don’t have to change all that often. Then again, no matter how painful my periods have been, I never resented them or hated ‘that time of the month’.

Advil (especially since my doctor told me how many I can take without causing damage), heat on my pelvis, Icy-Hot ointment on my back, and sleep with the best blanket in the house.

Heating pad, and rest, and water. =\ I don’t like when it causes me pain. That’s what I do anyways, I think I’m in less pain when i move around though.

A shitload of Midol and tears. And I usually stay in bed or in my computer chair, without moving for the first 2 days. (Mine are abnormally bad. Sucks.)

2 Pamprin (midol is worthless) plus 2 beers plus “leave me the fuck alone” works for me when I feel the first irritations.

I don’t agree that women can’t be politicians because of their cycles… we are politicians every damned day! Some days, we just don’t feel up to putting on the social mask and we will say what needs to be said, because the rest of the time we’re making peace. Men actually go through the similar hormonal phases, but they have nothing to blame.

Just checking: is it pain that’s bothering you or super-massive-heavy flow (which is worse than pain, if you ask me)?

Hot pad, and either 5 Aleeve or 1 Vicodin. Maybe some benadryl to help me pass out for awhile (assuming I have the option to sleep though it).

@Jeruba – Mostly the latter. Because I have PCOS, the “monthlies” are more like “semi-annuals” for me. As such, they’re usually more than most women expect, but this is just over the top.

Gross Alert!!
I use cloth, and it’s like one every couple hours.
I feel like I’m doing laundry for a newborn.

The second day is usually the worst for me. Super heavy flow that really sucks the life out of me. I usually sleep in that day (if possible), do minimal housework, watch lots of tv and pick up frozen pizza for dinner.

I hear ya, @jonsblond. The first few days are usually not that bad for me, but the rest of that week and the second week are from hell.

TOTAL GROSS OUT ALERT!

I’m done with all that now but my biggest problem was that it was like David Lynch, Quentin Tarantino and Peter Greenaway were co-directing a movie in my toilet every month. The biggest issue was keeping the lower unit clean. Lots ‘o toilet paper and wash clothes, lots of laundry to do.

Did I say that out loud?

One every couple hours? At my worst I was going through super-duper tampons every fifteen minutes, even with a major secondary support system. Not only was this a bear at work but if I had to go anywhere or do anything that forced me to stretch the intervals—whoa! I have some horrible memories. I have never for a second regretted my hysterectomy at 48; never once since then have I ever thought, “Gee, I wish I were bleeding.”

For most such knockout ailments, from a beastly cold to (most recently) a broken arm, my preferred response is to lie on the sofa and whimper and be catered to by my family.

The whimpering part is more easily come by than the catering part, I’m afraid, but I’m grateful for what I can get.

I go for distractions (absorbing BBC mininseries) and naps (no such thing as too many) and small indulgences (ice cream). And I do cling fiercely to the belief that it will pass.

@Jeruba, I probably make up for it in length. Sometimes, it lasts a month.

Egad.

Aleve. Never mind that Midol stuff. Aleve, for me, knocks those cramps right out.

Pills, pills, all kinds of pills! Everyone must take at least one pill!

But really, meds, then I curl up in a ball on the floor in my dark room and pray for it to stop.

Midol, chocolate cake, and a joint takes care of everything for me.

Dude…

@Facade Oh, how I miss Mary Jane. I haven’t seen her in a long time. Mary Jane knows how to kick Aunt Flo’s ass.

Prescription Flexeril, Aleve, chamomile tea and I usually spend 2 days literally not moving. Mine are consistently debilitating, though. When they are worse than usual… I usually writhe around in my bed whining like a big baby for a couple of days.

For the severe pain try using magnesium. Magnesium relieves muscle cramps, but it works really well on hollow muscles (and the uterus is a hollow muscle). I use magnesium citrate, but Mag phos (a homeopathic) and a homeopathic for menstrual cramps too (all of them contained magnesium).

My daughter had severe pain from cramps. Her sister and her father both came to me and said, “Do something please!” So I gave her every kind of pain relief that was appropriate, but nothing helped. Then she took the magnesium. It worked within an hour. When you see a response that quickly, you can assume they need magnesium supplements in their diet.

My girlfriend is Chinese and swears up and down that the intensity of her period/PMS is dependent upon how many cold things she drinks from her start time to her winding down time. She is 100% less moody than my last American girlfriend who was BSC during that time of the month.

I’m actually looking forward to menopause. I will buy all new sheets and underwear!

Wow.

I will never complain about my period ever again. Sorry you guys have to go through that, yeesh.

I can bear a lot of the stuff Aunt Flo throws at me, but the only thing I find unbearable is when I have one of my semi-annual freakishly horrible PMS spells, where I spiral off into crazy, delusional land, get launched into a serious depression, think everyone hates me, and generally feel like I’m on one side of the Grand Canyon and everyone else is on the other. All I can do is cower and wait for it to be over.

I always thought midol helped and my daughters use it too, but I had a drug called Fiorinal for awhile that was great.

I have PCOS too and I. understand.your.pain.
My solution, birth control pills. Problem solved- ALL the PCOS symptoms went away or were significantly reduced. Now, if I can lose the fluff around my middle….

@laureth and @linguaphile, I’m sorry but I burst out laughing when I read your posts. It seemed as if you both were in my head! I have PCOS. I don’t think it’s fair. (I know, I know, no one said life is fair!), but because of that I can’t have kids but I still have Aunt Flo visit every month. For those nasty cramps I tried Midol and Pamprin, both made me sick. Then I tried Pennyroyal tea. That helped, but didn’t make her leave. Finally I discovered birth control and she left, and it made the flow lighter also. You can also try heating pads. Large doses of Ibuprofen are wonderful. 1000mgs are my friend. Your Gyno has other meds that will help also. I don’t remember which one she finally gave me, but as long as it’s a muscle relaxer it helps and you won’t want to kill every male within 5000 miles!

Thanks folks!

So far, I don’t do mary jane, don’t have a gyno, and do regularly take magnesium. I haven’t gone the birth control route for various reasons.

Gah, @laureth, I didn’t even know it was possible to menstruate for a month. I think I’d just keel over. I feel bad for you – that’s rough.

Wine.

Oh wait, @nikipedia makes a good point. My 87 year old grandmother (who was born in Ukraine) swears up and down that a shot of vodka will do you some good. I would be lying if I said I never tried it… and it really does help. lol.

I’m not a lady, but I know several women who swear by raspberry leaf tea. You can even harvest it yourself, but if you’re going to you should soon or else the leaves won’t be as good. Harvest the end leaves on the stalk, and either use them fresh or completely dried. Something about drying them out makes them upset your stomach in the in between stages (I think I’m remembering that right).

@incendiary_dan – I don’t have access to any cane from which I can pluck leaves, but I bought some dried in bulk at the co-op today. They’ll be made into tea presently. Thanks!

@laureth I find it’s tasty with a bit of actual tea and some honey. :)

Make sure you are getting your iron levels checked or at least take a supplement. If you are regularly having a heavy flow you are at risk of anaemia.

@Bellatrix – This isn’t normal. Aunt Flo’s just being more of a sadist than usual. :) I’ve only had it last a month once before; most of the time the rate and the duration are both less egregious.

That’s good to hear.