What is this called, a date?

DATE – what else?

Indeed a date.

I’d be careful in assuming that it’s a date. He may be thinking that he’s “going to a movie with a friend.” However, the fact that he wanted to go with you tonight and not next Tuesday might mean that he wants to see you sooner rather than later. Then again, he might just be busy next Tuesday. Relax, have fun, enjoy the movie!

I would call it a date, but don’t assume you are now “dating” him. It takes a few dates before you can say that.

Have fun! Hope it’s a good movie! He better treat you like a lady!

Your conversation seems pretty casual and friendly in context. It doesn’t seem like a date to me. Was there any flirtation or teasing? Do you like him? Do you guys hang out often (even if not alone?). Maybe go today and see how he acts around you. It’ll clear everything out.

Hmm. Maybe yes, maybe no. Look for other clues as the night goes on. For example, see if he offers to pay for your ticket. I’m not saying that boys or men always have to pay on a date—or that him paying makes it a date—but it might be a clue.

@zenvelo haha he better! We are going to see transformers 3 – 3D

@sarahhhhh no not really… I do like him as a friend but nothing else because I am a picky bitch. When in school yes we do hang out a lot. One time he asked me to go swimming I said no because I was self-consious.

@nailpolishfanatic if you don’t fancy him then I’m sure it shows with your body language and all so he probably knows it’s not a romantic get together. I hope so atleast, never know with boys So yea probably just a friendly thing. Enjoy the movie.

@sarahhhhh But I am so anxious… what if he leans in for a kiss? o.O

Relax and be yourself. It might turn into a date if you let it.

@Adirondackwannabe how do I let it be a date?

Just relax, be yourself and don’t try to make it anything else. If you do that it will just play out.

With you latest posts, it sounds like he has interest in taking the friendship to the next level and not you. For clarification, is this the case?

@nailpolishfanatic Lol interesting question. He won’‘t do it unless you give him the vibe. Guys pick up on small signs when girls are trying to flirt or act cute. So if you act like a friend and buddy, he won’t try an kiss you.

@Pied_Pfeffer Yes.

@sarahhhhh So how should I act like a buddy lol Burp?

@nailpolishfanatic Just be yourself. You know, in all my life, I’ve never ever been able to pick up a woman in any bar, party etc. I’ve been picked up quite a few times when I was just being myself and not trying.It’s the honesty I think that works.

Since he may want to take the friendship to the next level, and you may not, my recommendation would be to insist on paying for your own ticket to the movie. It can be followed up with, “After all, this isn’t a date. We are just friends.” Or the more subtle, “Since you paid for my ticket, I’ll pay for the snacks.”

The part about “woke up this morning talking to one of my boy friends” indicates that you literally “woke up talking to him”, i.e., you spent the night with him. Since I don’t think that’s what you intended to say, you might want to be careful with the choice of words, because that’s what they say.

Otherwise, yes, this is a date, but like any initial date, it’s not necessarily a “romantic” one until one of you makes a move to make it that – and the other either accepts or reciprocates. If he leans in for a kiss and you kiss him, then you can call it a romantic date.

You could call it a schmoo.

There’s something about this hierarchy of relationships that really bothers me. Each level has its own name and everyone worries which level they are on. What do we have? Friends? Dates? Hanging out? Hook-ups? FWB? Serious relationship? Fiance? Spouse? The other woman (or man)? Crush? Infatuation?

How can you know where you’re at? How can you know what name to put on it? What the fuck does it matter what name you put on it? You know what it matters? It matters how you talk to other people who aren’t a part of it. Everyone else wants to know what you’re doing, so you have to decide how to explain it.

Really. It’s none of their business. What happens between you and your friend is what happens between you and your friend. Do you want to talk about it to all your friends? Think about him talking about it to all of his friends. What if he says you’re a frigid bitch? What if he says you’re a slut?

And what will you say about him? He can’t take no for an answer? He’s cute and hot? What?

Relationships are always one hundred percent improvisation. When it’s just you and him, it’s just you and him. The rules are what you make them. If you just want to hang out and see a movie and maybe get some desert afterwards—that’s it. You don’t have to label it. If you don’t want him to kiss you, you tell him if he tries. You turn your head. You say you don’t want that. We’re friends. Or whatever.

You make it what you want to make it that your partner agrees to. It doesn’t matter what you call it. It shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks, but of course, it does. Still, you can resist that. Whatever it is, you don’t have to name it, and you certainly shouldn’t let any of us name it for you.

A little word of warning. You invited him to ask you out by asking when he would take you in his car. He may have expectations of you and he may not. If you let him pay for the movie, that says one thing. If you pay for your own ticket, that says another. Or if you pay for his ticket, saying you are thanking him for giving you a ride, that’s yet another thing.

Many guys would think you have started things. Others won’t. I, for example, would not assume that because you asked for a ride in my care, that it meant anything at all. But other guys had more self confidence than I did, way back when I was your age, and they might have read another meaning into your request than I would have.

It’s very complicated, but I think you would do much better to pay attention to what you say and do and how you act than to what you call the evening. The name of your relationship that evening does not determine how you act. How you act determines what happens.

And I really think you should call it a schmoo just to remind you of that fact.

@wundayatta WOW. That is so very well said and true. Though I am thinking… should I invite one of my girl friends to go with us?

I conquer with @tedibear , maybe he just wants to hang out.

It’s s date.

Oh god!

Go easy. He’s going to be as nervous as you.

I agree, interesting question! I remember once in high school I really liked someone. When he asked me out after we graduated I was thrilled. Then when we went out someone else (a guy) went with us and
we went to a buffet. I agree
with other the other people
answering. People of both
sexes are pretty savvy when it
comes to picking up on body
language. You can also listen to the words he uses. Have fun, and let the chips fall where they may!

You act normal. Just the way you are around each other in school or with other friends. Don’t let it get intimate like holding onto his arm during a shocking scene in the movie or walking close to him or looking deeeeeep into his eyes. Do none of those things. But hey, I think you may be putting too much thought into it. Just have fun, you’ll know what to do if and when faced with an awkward situation.

So is it a good idea to invite one of my friends with us or what?... she already said yes now I just have to ask him.

If that makes you feel comfortable, do it. It sends the message you want to send.

It seems like a good idea to invite a friend, as long as you let the guy know prior to the date the event.

One time I asked a guy who I had a mad crush on if he wanted to go to a show with me and he said that he was going to bring a book with him. That certainly squashed any expectations that I may have had about whether it was going to be a date! (So then I went and told him that I would be inviting another friend along with us—just to make things as undate-y as possible.)

I don’t think it’s a date. His opening to make a date with you was when you asked him to take you for a ride in the car but he said, sometime instead of asking you out for something specific. Keep in mind you asked him out, put him on the spot for a specific day and he countered with something different, something immediate. For me this raises the possibility he’s thinking you’re hitting him up to fool around rather than date. Be careful unless this is all you want from him.

@Neizvestnaya Ah this is all so confusing haha. When u say that I feel like i am a flirtacious pro ;)

I think I may have watched too many coming of age movies.

@nailpolishfanatic: I’ve asked a few guys out in my single time and I got two general drifts that equalled exactly what they started out to be:

1) The times I asked the guy out and he said ok but didn’t elaborate much then it truly was “he’s not into you but being nice and so he said yes”.

2) The times I asked a guy out and he really liked me, he actually responded with details like he’d been wanting to ask me out, asked me all kinds of stuff, asked to call/text me.

Go with your gut and save yourself time. You shouldn’t have to spend but a few minutes with someone to tell if they’re into you or just being nice or friendly.

It seems like a date initiated by you, which isn’t so cool of you once I read that you know he’s interested in you but you’re not interested in him.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he thinks you’re interested in more than friendship. Turn it around- if a guy you were into said to you what you said to him, what would you think? Watch how you handle his feelings.

@quiddidyquestions I don’t recall mentioning anything about him liking me that way or did I?...
But thank you I will watch NOT to hurt his feelings ;)

OK Folks, I just came from the movies and it was fun. We didn’t do a lot of talking but we had fun (in my opinion). He drove me home and we just hugged nothing else. We are planning on hanging out sometime again soon.

Thank you for all your advice and if this type of situation occurs again I will definitely make sure to check on this thread and read over it again for some tips.

Again thank you!

Am I the only one who say this and got confused?

“talking to one of my boy friends”

@roundsquare – a boy friend is a boy who is a friend. Boyfriend is a boy who is a romantic interest. @nailpolishfanatic, please correct me if I’m wrong!

@tedibear It was a, rather poor, joke.

@tedibear you are completely right.

@nailpolishfanatic Your answer to this question: With you latest posts, it sounds like he has interest in taking the friendship to the next level and not you. For clarification, is this the case? led me to believe that he’s into you.

@quiddidyquestions Yes. But ehh i don’t know…