What do you think about changing the names of adopted children?

if they want them to choose their own names, their current names should be one of the choices

In my culture, the parents give the children temporary names, and when they are old enough, they choose their permanent name.

Drink names? Margarita, Shirley Temple, Tom Collins? Or worse? :)

Names carry an “energy” with them. This is what I believe. So, if the old names were names that might carry a “stigma” with them, I think changing their name is a good thing. Perhaps they had a difficult childhood. A new name would signal a new beginning and a new life.

I don’t think it is a bad thing…once again, you would have to ask the children and see how they felt about that….along with a thorough explanation of why it was being done and perhaps even designing a little ceremony where they take their new names. It could be something quite lovely and meaningful.

But if you are going to just say, “Okay, Shirley Temple…your name is now Jane…and Tom Collins, your name is now Brad.” uh no

It depends, if the kid likes their name, then why do it? If their name happens to have Shithead in it, yes definitely.

This question has inspired me to name one of my future children after my true love, whiskey.

They should only change the kid’s names if the kids want them changed. Even if the kids have weird (drink names???) they may have some kind of emotional attachment to them. If the kids are OK with the name changes and they get to pick their own names, then it’s probably fine. But they shouldn’t be forced to do so.

Drink names: Martini, Brandy, etc.
At ages 6,4,3 I’m not sure they would really understand why their names were “inappropriate”.

Children in that age range are able to adapt to a name change without any repercussions from what I’ve seen. It’s much less psychologically damaging than some of the names biological parents give to their child and deal with in their young years.

However, they should be given the choice whether to change it or not. They can also go by a nickname. I have a few friends and relatives that do this, and their names are not remotely connected to their legal name.

I can see offering children to choose new names, say Americanized names if their given names are very foreign sounding or have more than four syllables but what you’ve detailed? No way. Well, maybe I’d change Martini to Martin, Martinne or Martina but there’s no big deal about Brandy or Margarita.

Do the parents feel the given names are too out of place among Josh, Serena and Austin? Crazy stuff.

@chyna egad those names sound like grounds for a bad ethnic joke.
But I’d have to agree it depends a lot on how much the kids like them.
Maybe they could ease another name in as a nickname and let that grow on the kids.

@Neizvestnaya I think the parents thought the names were too much like “stripper names”, their words, not mine. The way this was presented to the kids, they were excited to change their names. I don’t know how it was presented to them though. I was wondering how they would react to this years later.

@chyna…....I know a “Brandy”. Well, I never knew her, but when I was in college, her dad (that I dated actually) got another girl pregnant (from his hometown) and they named the baby that. I never saw him after that. Of course, I had no clue he had a girlfriend back home. Uh….I found out soon enough…welcome to Freshman Year! lol

She was named after that song, “Brandy”. ( It would be hard to find an explanation for “Martini” or “Vermouth” or “Cointreau”, though.)

he was gorgeous and I am sure she turned out to be a beautiful girl

I think it’s fine. Especially if the kids are fine with it. Names are changed all the time. Changed to “American” names when an American adopts a foreign baby, changed because the child hates their first name (my grandma did that) or changed when a family emigrates to another country, it happens probably more than we think.

I think replacing “inappropriate” names is fine, better than fine! Giving the children a choice out of several is OK, but with the young ages, I would probably choose the names myself if I were the adoptive parent.

I was originally reluctant to change my daughter’s name when we adopted her from China (she was one). I figured her name is already established, let it be. But then I found out her name was only assigned to her by the director when she arrived at the orphanage (likely gaining her his last name). Furthermore, she (like most babies there) were usually referred to as “baby” or some other general term of endearment by the nannies that cared for them at the orphanage. Given this, her “name” (much like her birthday) was basically arbitrary. After learning that, I felt better about choosing a new name for her.

With regard to the children in your example: I would be very reluctant to change their name at those ages. Seems like it’s more about the parents discomfort with the alcohol references than anything logistical. That being said, if the kids are allowed to choose and are fine with it, then sure – why not? I do agree that I would want one of their choices to be their current name.

I would not change their names at those ages (unless it was something easily offensive like Dipshit). If they are old enough to know what their name is, then I think it’s too late. However, I guess it really depends on the circumstances too (as others pointed out).

I think changing a name just to suit the parents is a bit odd. I really don’t like it when people change the name of their foreign child just because it sounds foreign.

I agree with those that said the original name should be one of the choices. I also don’t think they should be forced to do so.

If they’re actually really bad names, names that will make people think less of the children, I can understand why the parents would want to change them. I certainly do hope they handled it well, though, and didn’t give the kids any reason to internalize bad feelings about themselves based on their original names.

If it was just about the parents worrying that they’d be thought of badly (because people would naturally assume that they’d named their children), then I think that’s a bad reason.

If the kids are actually excited about it, it will probably be ok, no matter what the reason.

For myself, I may have chosen the nickname route for now, and let them legally change their names (if they wanted to) when they were older.