Do platonic relationships ever involve touching, massaging, cuddling?

Of course they do. Relationships are NEVER, in my opinion, just platonic or just sexual – it’s always grey area, from what I found and yes, it can blossom in your case if you want to take it there.

I don’t think I have any actual platonic relationships, except for maybe 2 or 3.

Depends on how you see it, it can be platonic while you just do sex or not be platonic and still do sex, even if you said you didn’t do it .

If you want to be in a romantic relationship with the man, it doesn’t seem like it would be very difficult. As long as he is not attached to anybody, while you are doing that very nice platonic cuddling, kiss him, and then open your mouth and talk to him about your feelings.

I don’t know though, if this platonic cuddling is so nice, I would be hesitant to rock the boat.

Well it has been 7 years. I have to say, most men I have known have not been very good at keeping things ‘platonic’. Certainly any massaging, touching, spooning and cuddling would usually end up with an attempt for more than ‘platonic’ touching. I am sure there are men and women who can keep friendships totally free from sexual desire, but I think it would be rare. Even if the other party doesn’t act on it, the desire is likely to be there and that will ultimately lead to frustration for at least one of the parties.

It sounds to me that the desire is there on your part so now you need to find out if the feelings are reciprocated. Does he want more or not? If not, can you live with wanting more and not getting it or will it ultimately end the friendship? After seven years, I would think he would have given you signals if he wanted more or has your relationship become closer in recent times?

If you have been in the same bed for 7 years, and haven’t had sex yet, it ain’t gonna happen.

Ask him why ity has not progressed to sex.

Ask yourself why you have been satisfied with a platonic relationship for seven years.

My first thought is that he can’t um…get it up.
Perhaps his performance is impaired? If you want more, I’d try to talk to him about it. If you are satisfied with the status quo, then leave it be.

i would like to clear something up, we have known each other for 7 years…we have only slept in the same bed a handful of times…he recently came to visit me…i recently moved from his state back to NY…he does a lot of business on the east coast and he also has family about 3 hours from me…so, we hung around my place and then drove to rhode island, took his elderly mother and aunt out for lunch and dinner…(i met them for the first time) when we returned to NY, we again slept in the same bed, with the cuddling, etc. the next day i asked him why he thought we don’t have sex and he replied that we have such a unique and different relationship…having sex might change it and he wasn’t willing to take the chance of possibly loosing it…which is the same thing i told him about a year ago while in nassau when we got very close to having sex…so, the main reason for me not wanting to have sex is i would require some commitment from him…i’ve had one “friends with benefits” relationship since my divorce and i do not want to repeat it…there’s a little voice in my head that says…he works long hours…still has commitments to a son who is 24…travels with his company…and in general is very busy…he doesn’t have time for a girlfriend…but maybe someday he will…so for now it’s ok…thoughts??

i would like to clear something up, we have known each other for 7 years…we have only slept in the same bed a handful of times…he recently came to visit me…i recently moved from his state back to NY…he does a lot of business on the east coast and he also has family about 3 hours from me…so, we hung around my place and then drove to rhode island, took his elderly mother and aunt out for lunch and dinner…(i met them for the first time) when we returned to NY, we again slept in the same bed, with the cuddling, etc. the next day i asked him why he thought we don’t have sex and he replied that we have such a unique and different relationship…having sex might change it and he wasn’t willing to take the chance of possibly loosing it…which is the same thing i told him about a year ago while in nassau when we got very close to having sex…so, the main reason for me not wanting to have sex is i would require some commitment from him…i’ve had one “friends with benefits” relationship since my divorce and i do not want to repeat it…there’s a little voice in my head that says…he works long hours…still has commitments to a son who is 24…travels with his company…and in general is very busy…he doesn’t have time for a girlfriend…but maybe someday he will…so for now it’s ok…thoughts??

Hmm, my instinct is he isn’t interested in taking things to that next level. I don’t know the man though, so I could be totally off base. I just think if he was interested in more, you would know. You would feel it.

How old is he? Even if he is busy, he still has physical needs. How are they being met? Do you have any idea? If they aren’t, perhaps there IS a problem there as @wilma suggested and so he is happy to just not confront that issue.

I hope some of the men here will respond because I am looking at this from a woman’s perspective and I think you need the guy view.