How did you come to a firm decision about whether or not to have kids?

I just always knew I wanted babies. Even at a very young age, I was anxious to grow up, find Mr. Right and start a family. I stuffed baby dolls in my t-shirts and presented my mother with a new “grandbaby” at least twice a week. I pretended to breastfeed my dolls. I sat and thought about what sort of qualities Mr. Right would have, and how many babies we would have. I thought long and hard about the pros and cons of having boys or girls….......

It was just always a constant “I must do this” throughout my entire child/teen life.

We got married fairly late- I was 35, she was 32. We both wanted kids, and had discussed it at a pre-marital retreat.

I never, ever wanted kids, but I couldn’t handle an abortion either. So, I’m the proud mom of a 19 year old boy. After having him, I decided a 2nd would be fine, so had a daughter when he was 11.

I don’t regret having kids—when I got pregnant the first time, I was on a fast train to hell and having him shook me up and gave me a better direction.

I am 26 and single, so I haven’t come to a firm decision yet, but I’m strongly leaning towards not having children. They are time-consuming and expensive, and the world has enough people as it is, but it mostly boils down to me not wanting to be a parent.

I considered the type of life I wanted to live, along with my personal characteristics and traits.

Having a child is a huge responsibility. After watching one of my best friends raise her child as a single parent and doing an outstanding job, I came to the conclusion that I just wasn’t strong enough to do it on my own. I also decided if I ever found the right life partner, and he didn’t want children, I would be fine with that.

Things just worked out that way for me.I was never in a hurry to have babies though anyway.I wanted to enjoy my 20’s and I did! I can’t say as I especially miss not having kids.I have many nieces and nephews that I love dearly and see or talk to often enough. :)

I always wanted to experience as much of life as possible and I just knew that having children would never be something I’d pass up. When, at age 19, they found pre-cancerous cells in my uterus and advised me to have children sooner than later and I was close to being engaged with my then boyfriend, I knew it would happen with him eventually and it did – I used to plan my life out to every detail. We did get married (which shouldn’t have happened, but whatever, it’s what I thought was supposed to happen) and I started on the getting pregnant part pretty quickly, took about a year or so. Once I had my first, I knew there’d be more.

For me..it was all open ended with just an idea of how I wanted to approach it… no truly firm plans until some medical things made some decisions for me.

I knew I wanted a dog, children, a home.. but always felt I should wait to have a dog or children until I could provide a good environment and care properly for them.. Had I gotten pregnant unexpectedly or found a stray dog—I might have gone with the flow..but .. it all kinda went to plan.

For example, I didn’t get a dog until I bought a house with a yard and built a fence. With the fence built and the time to devote to training a puppy..I went to my area SPCA (aka: dog rescue) and adopted a dog that needed a home.

I always knew I wanted children someday—but waited until I met and married someone who I knew would be a wonderful father and co-parent. (He was a single parent to a 1yr. old baby girl when I met him—so I had the excellent advantage of seeing him parent before we married.) Luckily we were able to have children..

Now due to unexpected medical events I no longer have the choice to have more children…but if we wanted, we could make the decision to adopt perhaps. So.. perhaps the decision wasn’t really mine to make all along… it just happened when it happened..and I was fortunate enough that things worked out like they did.

I’m about a 6 or 7 on a scale to 10 on wanting to have kids. I think they’re magical little people but understand it’s a huge life change and responsibility.

My wife is a solid 10, she wants a little one so badly it’s honestly her #1 goal right now. She eats for it, plans for it, devours studies and test results for it. She’s overcome a lot of troubles and still absolutely and without question wants at least one little baby in our life.

If I wanted anything that badly I hope she’d come along for the ride and support me in it.

I’ve known from a very young age that I never wanted children. I love animals and have always had pets and I take care of them and nurture them as though they are my children. I’ve just never had the desire, or ticking clock situation, to have children. I don’t dislike children. All of my cousins have kids and I have a great time with them. But I can’t even imagine having children around all of the time. I would go mad. I like quietness and organization in my home.

But just to let you know, I am one of those people who not only think it’s OK to invite children to weddings, I can’t imagine not wanting kids at a wedding. In our family, kids are the heart of the family and it wouldn’t be a celebration without them. Weddings are all about family to me and they should be involved, so that they can learn what it is like to see two adults entering into a loving union and to be part of a loving family.

I just go with the (sexy, sexy) flow.

I’m now a very proud dad to two boys, with a third on the way.

@bob_ – the problem isn’t that there are too maany people in the post-industrial world. The problem of overpopulation is focussed on the urban poor in the developing world. Do your country a favour: have kids.

@the100thmonkey My country has enough kids.

I always wanted to have kids…never occurred to me to not have them! After college I was self employed and struggled to earn a decent buck and when I finally married my wife she was making more money than me and that motivated me to work harder and we finally got to a point in our lives where we knew we were ready financially and emotionally to bring a new life into our lives. Best day of my life so far. I can’t imagine not having my boys!

@bob_ – my apologies, I thought you were in the US.

@the100thmonkey No problemo.

I knew I wanted at least ONE child and I had my daughter who is almost 23.5 now.

I was an only child of an only child and so is she. :-)

I wouldn’t have minded one more, but wasn’t cut out for a huge family.

As it was, my marriage was on shaky ground for years, ignored a lot and kept it together til my daughter was about 15, then we finally divorced. No regrets and I really am enjoying my girl as an adult.

@Coloma I am looking forward to having no regrets as well….life is too short to worry over spilled milk! ;)

When it became clear the odds weren’t in my favor of having the lifestyle (security) I wanted to give to a child and now I’m too old.

I always knew I didn’t want children. It wasn’t something I consciously decided. I think perhaps you know, internally, what you are and are not suited to. As a child I never played with baby dolls. I never had a particular urge to baby small animals or to coo at babies. I think children are lovely, and admire anyone who has the desire to have them.

And, I’m frankly terrified that my child would be like me.

I thought I wanted kids, but as I grew up and found out more about myself and the world I knew that there is no way I’d bring a life into this existence.

I always wanted 4 kids, but I didn’t get married until I was 30. My husband said I could have as many kids as I wanted to take care of. We stopped at 2.

I was never exactly set on having kids, but couldn’t imagine not having the experience. Then I changed birth control methods and apparently there was a little window of opportunity for my very strong-willed daughter to take advantage of.

@Supacase I’m picturing your uterus as being kind of like the starship Enterprise. Worf shouts, “Captain the shields are down!” Picard shouts, “Engage” and the Klingon ship (your husband) fires a photon topedo (which is actually the sperm). Then Scotty yells, “Acchh Captain, we’re gonna need more power to outrun @Supacase‘s strong willed daughter! She’s comin’ down the chute!” (and that was the egg). The end.

Looks like your daughter turned out to be one of those nifty little life forms they were always searching for. : – )

I have never officially made the decision it’s just something that I feel isn’t right for me. Of course, that may change at some point but I kinda hope it doesn’t.

Having the trust that we can handle the responsibility. And a minimum of financial security.

Yep, most of us wouldn’t be here if our parents could have afforded us. Not being able to afford to send your kid to Harvard doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have kids.

Things always work out. This is one of the biggest things I have learned in my middle age. Nothing I have ever worried about has ever happened, yet. So I don’t worry. :-)

Not everyone is build to be a parent and have kids. I am 51 and never had kids. Never wanted kids. The world is over populated. Resources are scarce. Global warming is making our planet a very dangerous and unpleasant place to live. Too many mean people out there. No thanks. I have no trust on humanity as a whole.

I always knew I wanted children, so I could give them a better childhood than the one I had, probably. My husband and I wanted six, or at least as many as we could reasonably afford to have. I got married very young (19) the first time, but we waited a long time before we started having those kids (I was 27 or 28 when my oldest was born), to be sure we could really take good care of them (both financially and emotionally). The last few child-free years were full of longing to have one. To the point of actual sadness due to not having any yet. Once we started, we had our three daughters in a 4 year span.

Medical problems intervened, and I had to stop. It’s a damn good thing, too… I really don’t think I could have handled any more! I love them like crazy, but parenthood is hard. ;)

@augustlan and yet, you still ended up with a “split” family to raise them

@YARNLADY The best laid plans… ;)