How to not dwell on the past?

It’s called rumination.
I would try exercise and meditation.

I do exercise a fair bit (I run long distance) and also meditate but my thoughts tend to drift backward. In fact running seems all the more to provide an excuse – plodding along with just me and my thoughts. I think I need some kind of mental discipline or exercise that doesn’t just leave me to my own devising…

@intrepidium -Hmmm…meditation didn’t help? What about doing something like volunteering or getting out amongst more people?
Here is a thread that might help.

I volunteer with hunger and literacy drives and also at church – and they helped coz the activities are directed outward towards others. But I only have so much time available for volunteering…

The best respite I’ve found so far is to exercise to the point of exhaustion and my mind just empties for a while – but realistically I can’t be doing that all the time. It did occur to me that maybe meds might help but I’d heard enough horror stories and don’t want to go there – I’m not quite that desperate (yet)

@intrepidium -I would look more into meditation.Try different methods.
Good luck :)

Do you have any artistic tendencies? I find that drawing or painting put me in a semi-meditative state in which I am not ruminating. A trick a friend shared that is also helpful is spending the day looking for things in your environment of one color, e.g., identifying blue things. I do it when I am driving sometimes and it really stops the obsessive thoughts.

@janbb – there may be something to your idea of re-directing obsessive thoughts into some kind of externalized semi-obsessive behavior instead – thanks! I’d try anything to get out of my own head for a bit and give the mental churning a rest…

It actually makes you focus on the hear and now and clears your mind out for a time. I find it very useful when I think to do it.

First, you need to become more conscious of your self-talk. You need to know why you are obsessing about the past. It is important to write out what you are saying to yourself. Try reading the book Self Parenting, which is very good at helping you bring it out.

Then you need to write out some affirmations to substitute for the negative self-talk. Every time it starts, consciously halt it, and say aloud an affirmation (or two or three).

It takes practice and diligence, but it can be done. Good luck.

Never, NEVER, sit idle. Keep a list of fun stuff to do if you find yourself wondering how to fill your time. And speaking of time, mark it, with goals. Think Parkinson’s law.
Example: I want to read and critique these three books in the next three months.

I do the same thing once in a while. It usually hits me at night when I haven’t much to do and nothing is on TV and I’m bored. The quickest way I have found to get thoughts of my past gone is to engage in a word game on line. Lazy games like solitare won’t necessarily work. I can play those with little thought. MSN games has a load of free word games to play online. I’m sure there are plenty of sites.
Or there are also online community games like World of Warcraft that involves working with others on like in a group. I know when my daughter use to play she would shut down an thought processes that wasn’t involved with the game. I will say it was addictive so I would try the milder games first. Some people I fear will one day look up and realize years have gone by without them noticing at all. Luckily my daughter got out of the game and found the outside world had real people in it.
Hope this helps.

You do have to kind of make an effort sometimes, basically will yourself not to do it until you get out of the habit. My dad had a friend who worried a lot about things in the past and my father’s basic attitude and what he told his friend was : “You did the best you could, made the best possible choices and best possible judgements you could according to who you were, your circumstances and the information you had at the time. That’s best anyone can do.” And, of course, you can’t change what’s in past. You can try to right a wrong, if possible, or you can learn from it but you can’t change it. Everyone has regrets, I think. You can’t dwell on the past. If you regret something, acknowledge that for a moment and move on. You can make better choices in the present and the future but it’s too late to have made better decisions or different choices in the past so why go over and over things in your mind that you can do absolutely nothing to change? It’s not good for your mental health and accomplishes nothing.

Eliminate all visual reminders of your past and when those moments do arise where past memories invade your skull….honor them and good or bad put them in a safe place in your heart and mind as those memories are a part of who you are. No reasons what so ever to have regrets….just allow them their moment…respect them for what they represent in your life and move on with your day!