Can people easily affect the way you feel?

Not really. People shouldn’t determine how I feel about myself or my life, usually.

No, I am far beyond this issue now in my maturity, but nobody is above being effected by others words and actions at times.
You CAN choose to not allow it to impact you for days, weeks, and months on end though.

Learning to not need others approval to do what matters to you is a big part of maturity.

Not everyone is going to like you all the time, agree with you, and many, including parents, can be very disapproving and controlling when they think you ‘should’ be doing something their way, what they consider the ‘right’ way.

The best thing you can do is calmly tell them that you are your own person and that their support would be nice, but you won;t let their opinions stop you from doing what feels right to you.

Parents can have a hard time letting go of control and respecting their kids rights to make their own choices after a certain age. I’d suggest just telling them that you would LIKE them to be supportive but, if they cannot, you at least expect them to be respectful of your dreams.

There are people on Fluther who I truly do admire… they are “teflon-skinned” anything people say to them slides right off, and they’ll tell you the same, “What others say about me has no consequence for me.” Yay for them, because I don’t have that and there are times I wish I could grow teflon-skin, but other times… nah, because it’s not who I am…. then again, it’s a skill I’m developing. It doesn’t come natural.

I am overly empathic—I do feel what others feel, and really feel what they say to me. My mom tells me a story about when I was 2 or 3—I would try to make my two toddler friends get along and cried when one of them cried, just because she was crying. I really hated that part of myself for years—saw it as a horrible weakness. It took me a while to get to where I keep it, but direct and use it in a way that doesn’t take energy from myself.

In other words, yes, I do have an open emotional self that can be affected by others too easily, but I’ve learned to make conscious choices about when to let myself be open, and when to shut the castle gates and fill the moat with piranhas.

I’m an empathy sponge, so other people’s moods do rub off on me, but I’m not as affected by what they say or do. I’m not always successful at letting things roll off my back, but I’m much better about it now than I used to be. Some of it is age and experience. Some of it is self-confidence.

I have a very thick skin, but I also have a short fuse. It is quite hard to influence my mood, but some people do seem to have a way.

There is a guy I work with, Bernardo, cool guy, but for some reason, he rubs off bad on me some times, and we clash. A couple of minutes later we are joking again, but for some reason I just want to slap him some times.

I have no idea why it is, one assumption is that as he is also a big strong guy, maybe some primitive side of me sees him as a threat, and makes me keep him in line. However that is just one assumption, and I think it’s wrong, but other than that I cant think of any valid reason.

I can let a lot of things slide, but as I say, some can affect my mood with ease.

I know how you feel. Growing up, I was exactly the same way. I had a strict father, and being the “sensitive” person I naturally am, was hard on myself because I felt miserable when I got into arguments with him. Now that I’m an adult, I realize that the way I feel is the way I “react” to others. Yes, other people may be terrible, but it’s how I “react” to them that ultimately determines how I feel. I’ve learned to be tougher and not to be so sensitive as I was in my youth. My old habit was always trying to “seek the approval” of others, and when I got negative feedback instead, I would feel bad. I now know my feelings should NOT always be dependent on the approval of others, that I’m the one who really matters for my own happiness.

I also learned one trick as a youth growing up with a strict father. Knowing he was the kind of person who wouldn’t change, I learned not to “bait” him——and start a conflict with him. The less said sometimes, the better. Be like “water”, just flow around him and get out of his way. Maintain harmony. It was tough, but it carried me to adulthood.

It depends on who the person is and the context surrounding the disagreement/their comments. As has been suggested our age can have a lot to do with how influenced and affected we are by other people’s opinions. When I was younger and lacked confidence, certainly the things my friends said or my family said about my opinions or choices had a significant impact on me. I think as we become more mature, we become more sure of ourselves, more aware of our own needs and more comfortable with our own ability to make decisions that are right for us.

I should say, your parents love you. If they are giving you advice or trying to direct your life, it probably isn’t out of the desire to make your life miserable, but because they think they are doing the right thing. And they may be right. Keep that in mind. Take on board the advice they are giving you with an open mind. They know you well I would imagine and they may have insight into the plans/choices you have that you do not yet have. They may see pitfalls you haven’t even considered.

That doesn’t mean your parents will always be right. Parents have to go through their own transition as their children grow up and start to make their own decisions. It can be hard to watch someone you love making choices you feel are wrong for them. As parents, we need to learn how to manage our changing young people too. So, be patient with your parents and give them the respect of at least honestly listening to their perspectives. Even if in the end, you make your own decisions.

Feel better.

@poisonedantidote

Maybe he reminds you of your mom or dad or someone in your past that has some of his same behaviors. Often we get out buttons pushed the most by people who behave in ways that we have experienced with others in the past.

How random people feel matters little to me. But the more I care about someone, the more it matters what they think. If I care about someone, the tiniest thing that I perceive as being negative can set me up for hours of misery. For me, it really helps to remember that it is not their fault that I am sensitive. I want the people I love to want me to be happy, and to be proud of my actions.
I think it is only natural that your parent’s not fully supporting you would make you unhappy. Everyone wants their parent’s approval, even if they don’t admit it.

Only my wife really, and only sometimes. I have a lot of empathy for her. Everyone else, including (strangely) my daughter, I see their behavior as just that…their behavior – and it rarely effects my mood.

With my wife it’s different. I can be positive and hopeful on my own, but if she’s feeling hopeless or negative, it really rubs off on me and sours my mood.

Hmm… it’s pretty much only people who can affect how I feel. Weather, news events, the economy and my job don’t affect me very much on a day to day basis, and if the Red Sox lose, I can get over that in an hour or two. But when people react badly to me or misunderstand… and then drop out of communication, making a fix impossible, then that can affect my mood.

@CWOTUS People who refuse to try to fix interpersonal problems make me a tiny bit homicidal. Why even bother having any relationships at all if you are not even going to try to make them work?

My sister has had the ability to do that to me because she is magical. ;)

I believe the phrase, don’t let the bastards drag ya down, is in order here.