What is the best fortune cookie message you have ever discovered?

Empty cookies, and one time, a totally blank piece of paper.

You will get some new pants.

I got one that said

“Life is a virtual, especially at dinner time with telemarketers.”

You can see my question about it here.

These are the ones I’ve saved over the years:

“Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.” I can’t remember why I saved this one… ~

“You (sic) home is a pleasant place from which you draw happiness.” True.

“God will give you everything that you want.” Pretty impressive, for an atheist.

“You have inexhaustible wisdom and power.” I AM BATMAN.

I’m too busy adding “in bed” to the end of all the fortunes to remember any of them. ;-)

I find they are all good when you add “in bed.” to the statement. Give it a try – in bed..

What the…. @tedibear beat me to it – in bed.

@worriedguy I laugh like a seventh grader every time I do it!

Me too. I can’t help it.
Even at business meetings – in bed.

The one I opened on New Year’s Eve of 2010. It said my life would be a very happy and good one if I married so-and-so. I’m gonna do it come this November. Good cookie!

Smile if you like this fortune cookie.

“Always accept yourself the way you are.”

What makes it the best is that it was printed on a slip of paper which had been obviously mangled and miscut by the packaging machine.

Same one I always get: You are an ignorant slut with a large appetite and small brain (in bed).

“You are a happy man!” Being a girl, it cracked me up. Haha.

“All your wishes and desires will come true” In bed

‘You will meet many lovely people” In Bed

I’ve never had any interesting fortune cookie messages, so I’m afraid I’m just gonna have to make shit up;

You will be invaded by an army of pillows.

I bought a bag of fortune cookies and 3 of them said “You will marry a red-headed boy.” That came true eight years later. Actually his hair was light reddish brown. Now I take fortune cookies much more seriously. I just wish the money I was promised would show up.

My daughter, who was 13 or 14 at the time, got one about what her wife was like. That was interesting.

@augustlan…that’s hilarious lol. XD

“There is no such thing as an ordinary cat.”

I opened an old broken watch with a waterproof casing, and replaced the watch bits with that fortune. When people asked me what time it was, I would show them the watch (I wear watches with the face on the inside of my wrist, so they wouldn’t have seen it normally) and say the fortune to them.

I was with someone incredibly special at the time and my fortune cookie said something like “yours is a true friendship”. It just seemed fitting for the moment.

@Prosb I really like the watch story!

I got one that said “Very soon. And in good company.”
Kind of cryptic and funny. I laughed and looked at my dining companion like hmmmmm….

Prosb That is so funny that you wear your watch with the face inside. My husband does the same thing. When he was a teenager his older cousin wore it that way so he started to also because he thought his cousin was so cool. Now he cannot wear it the normal way.

@Earthgirl That’s funny, because I started wearing it like that when I saw my English teacher wearing his watch face in. He was a cool teacher, so I imitated it for a while. Then, when I later tried to switch back to the “normal” way to wear a watch, it felt awkward on my wrist, as though having it face inward was a better fit to the way my wrist moves.
So, it stays face in now. (Maybe it’s contagious)

If you wear your watch facing your body (on the inside of your wrist) you are less likely to scratch the crystal! Learned that the hard way . . . I broke my left wrist when I was 18 (am right handed) and had to switch my watch—more likely to break the crystal when it is on your dominant arm facing out. I have worn mine to the inside of my right wrist since the broken wrist.

Prosb and Kayak8 It also makes it easier to sneak a look at the time during a boring meeting at work, lol.