Any lawyers in the house? How do you get one spouse to leave the home, say, if they were emotionally abusive and they put their hands on you?

Call the cops. Domestic violence is what that is.

@Russell_D_SpacePoet They put their hands on you a week ago. What can you do about it now?

In California you can get a restraining order and he won’t be allowed within 200 feet of the house. Go to the Sheriff’s office if it is domestic abuse, or to the Family Law court.

Once he is served, he has to arrange for the sheriff to be there to retrieve any clothes or anything else.

It may depend where the people live and/or who’s name the title of the house is under. I am sure you can still report it, a week later. Again, what will come of it depends on where the people live.

It’s in Ontario, Canada.

I’d talk to a professional if you seek the restraining order route. It’s ridiculously difficult to get a restraining order, and in the end you will just have put yourself through lots of grief in dealing with the inefficiency of the court system. My aunt filed a restraining order (in Los Angeles coincidentally) against her former husband who touched her multiple times. Once leaving 3 separate and dark bruises. The judge decided it wasn’t enough for a restraining order.

My coworker tried to file a restraining order against a neighbor who consistently harassed her six year old daughter. You would think since a little six year old girl was involved it would be easier… no. They ended up having to make two court appearances WITH the man they were filing the order against and no order ended up being granted. This man would stand across the street EVERY MORNING AND AFTERNOON when they would leave and return home, terrifying the little girl. On Halloween he screamed at her so loudly and got in her face (REMEMBER A SIX YEAR OLD HERE) that one of the dad’s walking the children, who happened to be an FBI agent felt threatened and intervened… Again, no order was granted.

I think of these instances and the failure of the court to protect innocent people (and others) when I hear this song. I’m not trying to encourage you here or make light of the situation, but that’s just how ridiculous it is to get a restraining order here, that I actually think of this song!

I want him out of the fucking house. For my family member’s sake.

Is there anywhere you can go to live with the daughter until a legal separation agreement is completed? I’d talk to an attorney tomorrow and explain the entire situation and emphasis you want the house and need a place to live.

@bkcunningham It is actually for a family member. They are going to speak to a lawyer, this week.

Sorry Jude. I wasn’t sure if it was you or not and had a very nice third person answer and then changed it when you said, “I want him out of the f….” Well, anyway, same answer for your family member. Talk to an attorney tomorrow and get the ball rolling on a separation and legal paperwork to get the home for the mother and daughter.

Also, just say that you just found out about the incident of him putting hands on her; you should call the police and explain what you just found out about the incident. Ask what can be done after the fact if anything. Get the names of everyone you talk to and document that you called the police and what you were told. Even if it is after the fact, it doesn’t matter. Call the police and tell them you just found out he put his hands on her in a manner that left marks.

File a police report. Keep a record of everything.

File for divorce due to domestic violence.

Seek an alternate place to live. If no one can take her and her child try a shelter for victims of domestic violence.

I think they should talk to the police. Keep a record of everything. (Ok, same as @tinyfaery just posted). I was about to type all of what she just said. :)

I really think they should get out of the house ..that’s easier than trying to find a way to make him leave, for now. Getting away from the situation is most important at this point.

I’m not a lawyer nor do I know much about anything, but I’m thinking the person that leaves the house relinquishes all rights to the house. I’m probably wrong about this and I realize someone’s welfare is more important than who gets the house, but when it’s all said and done, she will need a place to live.

When documenting, get pictures, and make sure they are time stamped. Better yet, go to an emergency clinic, and have THEM document it with pictures. Then your claim with the policecourts (hopefully) will have weight.

I found this website which is full of useful information. If my partner were home, I could ask her. She deals with domestic violence quite often (psychologist). If you are still looking for advice in awhile, I’ll let you know what she says.

If he is an abuser he WILL abuse again. She needs to make that critical phone call when it happens, or…better yet…SHE needs to leave, and then, if he stalks her at a friend or relatives house there will be multiple complaints and witnesses. Abusers are all about control and he will, most likely not leave voluntarily. The abused woman needs to make her escape plan.

I talked to my partner. She said basically what I, and others, have said (but with more detail).

These 3 things are the most important right now:
—Go to a woman’s shelter with the child – this will get her further help from those who specialise in the field. It will also show, for possible future references/charges, that she needed to flee for her safety (and she will have the women’s shelter to back her up).
—Report the incident to the police (no matter if it was a week ago) – even if they can’t/won’t charge him, it will be on record. This is important for future references and charges.
—Keep a record of everything (the times/dates and information regarding threats and abuse). Keep this information somewhere he is least likely to find it; make copies (giving them to trusted friend or family).

As for the what @chyna stated: …the person that leaves the house relinquishes all rights to the house.
My partner said she’s never heard of that in all the cases she’s dealt with – perhaps that’s an American thing, I do not know.

My partner works at a private company as a psychologist. She also works part-time at a local women’s shelter (as a psychologist doing one on one and group counselling). She’s has been working at women’s shelters for about 12 years.

I hope you keep us posted ..and that your loved one gets help/safety very soon.

As a former ambulance driver, I say get them out of the house. It is easier to fight for the house from a shelter than it is from a hospital bed or the morgue.

You do not automatically lose your rights to the property if you leave under the threat of violence.

@Jude Should have been done when the incident occurred. Your best bet is to make a log of the incidents that do happen. Also any you specifically remember from the recent past and try for a restraining order. I didn’t read all the other posts, but I’m sure this was mentioned.

You can file a TRO, that should get him out of the house fairly quick, and have hem stay away frome you as to not be able to put a hand on you.

Someone is not maxed out yet…..lurve loading @Jude Hee hee hee