Wow! This is going to be one heck of a party. And because you’ve been recently dining on frozen microwaved meals, we’re going to put on a magnificent feast. In the long dining room, we will have 2 long tables set up. One with vegetarian items and one with meaty stuff, so you can have your choice. I will be making This Pasta and This Soup and This Side Dish and This Salad and This Appetizer and This Dessert. Not sure what @incendiary_dan will be making for the other table.
After dinner, we shall all gather in the the brand new theater that we had built just in time for your arrival. Instead of regular hard seats, all of the chairs are big old comfy recliners with wine holders on each side. But you shall not be sitting in the audience. We have invited Andrew Lloyd Webber to come on over to the mansion and he’s brought a brand new play, that was written especially for you to star in, to sing the lead. It’s called “Kate Get Your Machine Gun” and all of the music is guitar music. We’ve invited some of the best “pickers” in the world to accompany you. We’ve got Glenn Campbell, Earl Scruggs, Neil Young, Slash, Jimmy Page, David Crosby, Tommy Crook and John Jorgenson amongst others.
And for your amusement (and ours) we’ve set up a little Fluther theme park on the grounds. One of the rides is kind of like Disneyland’s Small World, but ours looks like This and instead of having little kids singing silly songs, we’ve got animatronic versions of “less popular” but awesome bands, like “The Mountain Goats” singing awesome songs.
And for a late night snack, before you retire to your room, which is decorated in a style reminiscent of Russian royalty’s diggs, we have prepared for you a giant bundt cake that specifically looks like a baboon’s ass, only it tastes like lemon : )
Enjoy, and congratulations!